To be outraged by children's centre

[quertas]

I've just received a letter from my local children's centre congratulating me in the birth of my baby (well he was born 3 months ago so thanks but the moment for congrats has rather passed) and stating that 'an appointment has been made' for next tues (letter arrived today) for someone to come and visit me at home to tell me about the services at the children's centre. Aibu to see this as a bloody liberty and to wonder where the actual fuck this person gets off inviting herself into my home?

Well I'd be annoyed by the letter unless every single parent with a newborn across the country received it as standard. It is offensive that they target some areas over others. I don't believe pnd has any relation to low income in fact I'd say the opposite is often true ime.

I also resent the fact that many years ago when we moved to a new area I went in and tried to sign up for classes for dd1. I was told I couldn't join due to my postcode. This was a typical outer urban area where you often have a very affluent area just a mile or so from a very deprived area. The CC was about 1.5miles from my house and I wasn't allowed to join. Yet I was the vurnerable one having lost both parents the previous year, moving house and just having had a new baby all without knowing anyone other than my husband within 100miles.

I hope things have changed. I may have been mid 30s, married and living in an area with extortionate house prices but I was an utter mess. If they had allowed me to come along and socialise once or twice a week I may not have lived under such a black cloud for 2yrs totally ruining my daughter's formative years.

Also, 3yrs later I started teaching in that area and although the mothers were younger, often unmarried and inevitably poorer, the overwhelming majority of them were surrounded by family and friends as they were living in the area they grew up in.

Sorry meant to add; So the vast majority of them probably needed the social aspect of it less than me.

I can understand the OP's annoyance about the tone of the letter (but "outraged" is OTT) - I got a very similar letter a month or two ago from our local childrens centre inviting themselves around to tell me about their services. Although DS is a toddler rather than a newborn.

When I rang to say that the appointment wasn't convenient and query why they'd invited themselves around anyway, I was told that the childrens centre have to meet certain targets (around attendance at their sessions and informing parents about their services) in order for their funding to continue. They ended up telling me about the relevant sessions over the phone rather than rescheduling the visit which was fine with me.

But, the tone in the letter I received was very much along the lines of "We're coming to your house to see you whether you like it or not", with no indication that this visit was an optional thing that I could choose to decline if I had no interest in the childrens centre or already knew all about it (or for any other reason). I thought this was intrusive. Yes, turns out after I rang them that the appointment wasn't compulsory, but this really wasn't the impression given by the letter itself.

Ilovemyself - Of course MrsDV's post was 'well said' - she is exactly the kind of person that organisations like this need, if we could clone her it would be amazing.

So - how on earth can you agree with MrsDV and yet still defend the letters??????? That is the whole point of this thread?!

Chipping. It seems from my experience that the appointments are unwanted by a (vocal) minority

On what do you base this?

And sorry, but if a person from a cc sees something concerning during a home visit they will pass it to the correct person to deal with. It's not their reason for being there but they would still pass it on

Would you like to point out to me where I said otherwise? (you wont find it, because I didn't)

You obviously have a chip on your shoulder about them when their sole purpose is to assist parents. Perhaps you feel you don't need their help ( or you possibly feel you are above it - that's just a guess though) Saying 'it's just a guess though' doesn't stop it being a shitty thing to say you know?! and no, I don't have a chip on my shoulder about them - I have an issue with them sending out 'appointments' telling people when they will be turning up at someones house - wanted or not.

but many people gain access to many fantastic groups and services because of them Brilliant, fantastic - send a letter/information pack.

Just because YOU don't want their help,why should others be denied the easy way they get to find out about them I am NOT the only one (by a long shot) saying their METHOD is invasive and alienating - they can inform people in other ways (letters/information packs). Stop trying to make out that I am against them, when I am not, I am against their METHOD.

PatioDweller that is terrible :( I hope they have improved a lot since then. I'm sorry you had such a rough time and that the very people who should have helped you, didn't.

Shadow - exactly and can you imagine how that letter would make a someone feel who is suffering from PND or for other reasons does not want a stranger in the house. It is intimidating and invasive and really can't see why people don't 'get' that :(

Chipping. It's quite simple really. All of the parents I interact with ( and it's quite a few) think it's a good idea - without exception.

I base the vocal minority on the fact it is always those with an axe to grind that should the loudest - the others generally can't be arsed to reply or don't want to get into a slanging match about it.

If you are not against CCs then I apologise. Your comments make you sound like you think that they are the devils
Work.

If the tone or content of the letter is wrong then I agree it is not good. But if it is worded well and the content is good then there is no reason why a letter asking f to come and visit should be intrusive.

Ilovemyself

You're (still) missing the point entirely. It isn't a letter asking you to come and visit. It is a letter telling you that they have made an appt with you, at your home, without your knowledge or consent and without making it clear that you are well within your rights to cancel it.

If you really still can't appreciate the difference then........ pfft, I dunno.

Saucy. Did you read what I just said about the content or tone?

Ilovemyself, why then, if the only remit is to help those in need, was I unable to access their services?
Mrsdevere has said this was a common criticism.

I'd like to clarify that those mums I came into contact through work, whilst certainly younger than me and most probably of lower household income, were not bad mothers. A few had problems and clearly struggled but the vast majority were just normal mums so I'm unsure why 'they' as a collective were deemed more in need of support than mothers like me. I'm quite sure there is need in every demographic .

Patiodweller. I can't answer that one. All I can say is that in this area we can visit one of 3 centres, have received fantastic help and support and have seen them expand their range of services and help even more people

The range of people I have seen getting help come from all
income brackets and social backgrounds so I have not seen the selection you mention.