Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be outraged by children's centre

263 replies

quertas · 04/10/2013 20:25

I've just received a letter from my local children's centre congratulating me in the birth of my baby (well he was born 3 months ago so thanks but the moment for congrats has rather passed) and stating that 'an appointment has been made' for next tues (letter arrived today) for someone to come and visit me at home to tell me about the services at the children's centre. Aibu to see this as a bloody liberty and to wonder where the actual fuck this person gets off inviting herself into my home?

OP posts:
Original poster
quertas · 04/10/2013 20:45

..sorry, blasted phone! But NOT that this is optional.

OP posts:
hettienne · 04/10/2013 20:48

It's a bit pushy, but if you aren't interested surely you just call and cancel?

mysticminstrel · 04/10/2013 20:48

It would irk me too, OP.

LadyintheRadiator · 04/10/2013 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaFataTurchina · 04/10/2013 20:50

As she hasn't said anything to the contrary (as in that she's struggling, has any other involvement with agencies) - I assume that she is just having a moan at the presumptous letter.

If she is struggling (sorry to talk about you in the 3rd person OP!) then I still don't think she is being unreasable, I think a letter asking if she would like an appointment or just giving about the local childrens centre is often better recieved. Or, by her HV suggesting that she access her childrens centre.

LaFataTurchina · 04/10/2013 20:50

*giving information

Rooners · 04/10/2013 20:51

I understand why HV checks have to be mandatory and I go along with those and I imagine so does the OP.

Children's centres are NOT offering compulsory visits or services but are acting as though they have this remit.

it's not on.

hettienne · 04/10/2013 20:53

HVs aren't mandatory either Rooners.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 04/10/2013 20:55

After meeting my hv I refused to have anyone to my house. She put me off for life.

Then I actually went to my centre and made some of the best friends of my adult life.

If you wish to be outraged that's up to you but I would have massively missed out in my own baby journey. Unless you find out what's there and who, may be you are too.

Rooners · 04/10/2013 20:55

I thought some were...you know, just the basic ones like post birth and so on - if they are not then they probably ought to be just to cover all bases.

But I stand by what I said, this is a totally different remit and FAR far more important than what the CC is doing.

I don't know their motivations but if they are financial that's pretty crap. And if they're not, then it's still not on.

Charlottehere · 04/10/2013 20:58

Outraged hmm. Simples...ring up and say no thanks.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 04/10/2013 20:58

Outraged is a bit harsh maybe.

Our children's centre is great, the people there are lovely, and toddler DS really enjoys going. But if they'd just shoved a leaflet through my door when he was born, I'd have lost it instantly, cause that's how I roll...

They also run things like the freedom program (with free creche), BF support, and citizen's advice appointments.
All of which are topics maybe best touched on face-to-face rather than via a random leaflet or poster?

Sindarella · 04/10/2013 20:59

I also got a letter like this, it wasnt that someone was coming round that annoyed me. It was the way it was worded. It stated XX would be coming to my home at suchasuch time and date.
No, we would like to arrange an appointment, we would like to tell you about our services if you are interested or any pleasantries.

Anyway, i was busy the day they came, out with baby, my P was home but they didnt stay to tell him about their services, even though he is quite capable of holding a conversation. Sometimes.

KirjavaTheCorpse · 04/10/2013 20:59

Am I missing something? This would annoy me as well... Confused

I wouldn't be outraged but I'd certainly be Hmm about it. It's a bit intrusive, isn't it? You can cancel, but the fact you're having to cancel an appointment that you didn't request or make any indication that you'd like to have is a pain in the arse.

NoForkNKnife · 04/10/2013 20:59

I made a complaint after I recieved the same letter.
The appt was NOT CONVENIENT as my dd had not yet come home from hospital.

I dread to think how I would have felt if she had not made it. I was quite emotional when I rang to complain, and the girl apoligised and said 'yes, we've had lots if issues with this before'.

Original poster
quertas · 04/10/2013 21:02

Thanks for the replies! No not struggling! This is my 2nd child so I think that makes it easier. We don't really have much contact with the hv here - god help us we are actually in Bradford!!- but ds has had his jabs etc and no-ones raised any issues with me so I dong think this I'd directed at me specifically (lord!hope not :-)) it just riled me that there was an assumption that it was ok, it seems to border on pretending they have a right to come and it's also massively gazumping local private offerings. I looked up what they offer and it's mostly baby yoga and messy play. I already do yoga and with a 3 year old mg house is already a messy play area all to itself. I resent the intrusion and false pretences.

OP posts:
Minnieisthedevilmouse · 04/10/2013 21:03

Having had a friend die thru pnd and the only people interested were the fecking CC I could well be more than biased. Btw she threw herself out of a window.

They are needed. They helped her before the inevitable they helped the family after, they helped us after and our kids enjoyed fun play groups and decent play times. Society is more than coffees and fluff. They are trying to bridge gaps the size of canyons in some towns. Open your eyes in your own place, you might be shocked.

Rooners · 04/10/2013 21:04

Well this is it. Even if you just want to cancel you've got yet another thing to do which you haven't got the time or energy for with a young baby.

And then you ring up to cancel and get someone who thinks you're being rude on the phone - or they try and get you to agree to it - and you're not sure, because of the wording, whether refusing their offer means you'll be flagged like when you refuse basic health checks for a baby.

LaFataTurchina · 04/10/2013 21:07

I just noticed your post floggingmolly, English isn't my first language. I just googled affronted and what I've said still makes senses to me, but maybe the word is stronger than I think it is.

BodaciousTatas · 04/10/2013 21:10

I manage children's centre and the children's services leader wanted us to do the same. We ignored her, we send a letter to all new births with a timetable of a groups and a quick this is us pop in for a cuppa whenever you like (and many do)

We only book appointments if they have been referred by ss.

Thurlow · 04/10/2013 21:10

I'd rather people who didn't want to see a HV or someone from the CC had the 'hassle' of phoning or emailing to cancel, than women who desperately need some support not offered convenient home visits. How many women are struggling and don't know what to do, and a home visit would be a lifeline they need?

Everything that has been in the press recently about families and children in terrible circumstances partly because no one visited them and saw what was happening, and people are complaining about this? Confused

Floggingmolly · 04/10/2013 21:12

Massively gazumping local private offerings Confused
That would be due to them being government subsidised, you know. Of all things to take issue with Hmm.

Floggingmolly · 04/10/2013 21:13

Fair enough, LaFata

Sirzy · 04/10/2013 21:13

It's a way of getting contact with families, I don't see that as a bad thing. They are there to offer support and it is useful to tell parents exactly what is available, and how that families needs can be helped by them.

If you don't want it then cancel.

ICameOnTheJitney · 04/10/2013 21:13

YANBU it's an un-asked for appointment. Write back saying no "Appointment" has been made because you did not make it! And tell them to remove their version of the "Appointment" from their books at once. Cheeky bastards. If they want to target vulnerable families then they need to do that...not foist themselves on those who aren't targets.