To be outraged by children's centre

[quertas]

I've just received a letter from my local children's centre congratulating me in the birth of my baby (well he was born 3 months ago so thanks but the moment for congrats has rather passed) and stating that 'an appointment has been made' for next tues (letter arrived today) for someone to come and visit me at home to tell me about the services at the children's centre. Aibu to see this as a bloody liberty and to wonder where the actual fuck this person gets off inviting herself into my home?

Nannyogg, the difference is, the letter came from a children centre not from a HV as explained in the OP.

Why should she have to phone up to cancel something that she didn't ask for in the first place???

YANBU. It's cheeky. It's a numbers thing for them - local govt funding issue. To tell you about their services they could send you a programme.
But the person who visits might be lovely.

Thanks again all for views. I can see why I might be considered unreasonable for taking umbrage but still think I'm in the right on balance. But for a family emergency if be halfway to Scotland now and wouldn't have received this until after the 'appointment' had been missed. I've now got to take time next week to contact people to get out if zb appointment who I never contacted in the first place over services that I'm not interested in. Those 10 mins could bd the only ones I get that day with both children quiet ! If I get that I'd prefer to have a brew and a read to chasing bureaucrats. To the poster who took issue with my gazumping comment (sorry on phone do cant look back at the comment) according to their website 75% of their 'government funded ' classes require a payment. It might be cheaper than private sector but its not free so they are selling something - and using privileged information and false pretences to do so. Mrsdevere's approach is spot on and if not have taken offence at that.

They have loads of cash southeast

How on earth can anyone feel affronted by this?! We are bloody lucky to get these (absobloodylootly brilliant) FREE services. You don't have to fix up an appointment with them. And why so churlish re congratulations. My ds is nearly 2 and I'm very happy to accept congratulations at any point :-D

Loads of them are 100% free. Why don't you listen to what the person visiting has to say before you write them off...?

Sorry monkey mama 75%!of the classes at this cc are payment only - basically if you have no money at this place you'll get nothing. Perhaps i should've been clearer on that.

I think it is an utter imposition aND VERY annoying BUT in view of all the recent child deaths due to filthy, neglectful, bastard, evil, animal 'parents' (if you can call them that) I would now suck it up and decide to 'take one for the team'. The more access, the better. Perhaps one child will be saved with increased state vigilance.

Just be out or when they come tell them it's not convenient, play dumb and tell them you never got a letter.
No biggie really.
Virgin, bt, double glazing ect turn up unannounced all the time, wish I was able to tell them not to bother.

Wow. I thought it was a pita when they phoned me up, would be pretty pissed off if they had tried to get in the house.

I do actually remember consenting to pass my details on to the children's centres because DH will be going when I go back to work. And that's how I got her off the phone - she was over the moon that a DAD would be attending. Pfft.

It's annoying that they foist themselves on you. A phonecall to discuss whether you a) want the service and b) arrange a proper appointment would be fine.

Mind you, I had them round here. There's a Children's Centre round the corner. Did she bring the info for there? Did she fuck, she brought it for two others in the area. Nearest nine miles away :D

When they came round to tell me about the CC round the corner I wasn't offended by the imposition. I was a bit upset when she made it clear she considered me too middle class to actually use the services and said it wasn't really for 'people like me'. As I don't drive, the CC would have been the only place I could easily get to and I felt quite isolated after the birth but I never dared visit the CC after that as I didn't want to take services that weren't intended for me. So the appointment seemed like a but of a waste of time really!

I work in a Children's Centre, and our Outreach Workers take this approach with new birth visits. The letter is very carefully worded and they are told they can call and cancel/rearrange if the time isn't convenient or they are not interested.

They do go through the list carefully first. We are told by the hospital if there have been any stillbirths. A baby with a low birth weight and/or gestation will be flagged up, and they will call the heath visitor to find out the situation. We are normally told if the baby has been transferred to the NICU or a specialist hospital. Mostly the health visitors will tell us is there are any families with special circumstances. We also have the midwife clinic at our Children's Centre, so we'll already "know" most of the women from there.

It's a really efficient way of finding out who really needs help. A lot of women will call us up and cancel the appointment but are happy to get some information in the post. The ones who are in when the Outreach Workers visit are generally the ones who need help. Who don't know about Children's Centres or are not confident enough to attend. We have a lot of new builds in our area with new to the area families and a lot of them don't know anything or anyone.

It's not a massive waste of resources. If the family isn't in, they'll drop some leaflets with a registration form and pre-paid envelope through the door and the families nearly always send the reg form back. If no one is in, the Outreach Workers finish early and walk back and do paperwork. They've always got paperwork.

YABU to be outraged. if you don't want the appointment, call them up and cancel.

Last time I checked, appointments are made by contacting the person you wish to see and mutually agreeing a time/place, not by announcing you will be arriving at that person's home at a time convenient to you, not them.

A letter to explain about the services, a phone call to see if a home visit would be helpful, fine. But a letter announcing they are coming sounds officious and intrusive rather than welcoming and helpful. Rightly or wrongly I would make negative assumptions about the likely attitude of workers at the Centre as a result and would probably avoid them thereafter.

Quert, where did you get the information re 75%? Are you sure this person is not about to give you info which contradicts this. I'm just puzzled by this as it's all free where we are and surely children's centres are the same everywhere (seems like I'm wrong about this...). Presumably the person coming to see you is not going to charge for the visit :-) so there you are there's a free service already. And what about the remaining 25% of classes! how do you know they won't be worth going to.
When you say 'classes', do you just mean actual classes? Cos there are loads of other services that aren't classes, that your child might enjoy. Eg drop in social groups. Messy play and singing sessions. Toy library. To name just a few. Half the playgroups we go to seem to offer a free snack and drink to the children and one that my friend goes to gives them lunch too. So the actual 'classes' (1st aid, new mums, baby calm etc) are only a small part of the he service.

Basically, if what you say is true and there is literally nothing you or your your child would get any benefit from going on at any if your local children's centres, then you very much need to have this meeting to take this up with them IMO.

YABU.

I was grateful for any information offered. You may want access to the services at some point!

'The ones who are in when the Outreach Workers visit are generally the ones who need help.'

How do you know that, Peppermint?

Honestly - has there been research?

I agree with nannyogg. Yes it maybe a pain to have to ring up and decline the visit but just because you don't want or need to service doesn't mean someone who is unable or unsure about reaching out doesn't need the service and would be very grateful for this visit. I am amazed how making 1 tiny phone call to cancel a visit is such a problem. They have sent you an appointment with the choice to cancel, why else would they have informed you of the visit as they could easily have just turned up!
You can't do right for doing wrong when it comes to stuff like this.
People get upset when neglect cases are on the news and shout for more to be done and then moan when said services step up their game because the parents feel that their privacy and space are being invaded when someone dares to try and help or offer free services.
Get a grip op and ring and cancel if you don't want it.

Childrens centers act this way because they have to met certain targets regarding the visitors/take up they get. Tgey are monitored by ofsted and obviously are using council money so have to justify every course/member of staff. they are a brilliant facility that can be useful to almost everyone if they want it.

If you don't even want to hear what they do cancel or just refuse at the door.

The fact is that there are many mums that won't reach out and do need to get out and it has helped them.

YABU for sounding a bit unhinged. So services for children are damned if they don't and damned if they do. I just don't see how they can all be criticised widely for not noticing when things go wrong, when people are so unreasonably angry when they try to liaise with parents. They are there to support parents and support children, the staff I have met in a similar centre were brilliant lots of free courses, advice, support, play. Don't be so ungrateful.

Rooners - by help I meant assistance accessing the services. They get a letter about children's centres, they want to know more about children's centres but aren't sure about them so wait for someone to come and tell them everything. A more confident/able mum might get the letter and think "oh yeah that sounds good, i've been meaning to do that" and will cancel the appointment or do something about it like go to the centre or look a their website and book something. That's just our experience in the deprived area where I work. No research, just experience.

If 75% of the things they offer are charged for, are you sure it's a proper children's centre? The only thing our place charges for is baby massage but that's heavily subsidised so is a very small contribution only. Everything else is free and I've found it brilliant as a way of meeting other mums and getting support.

YABU by the way. Surely it's much easier and better that they come to you than you having to go out and try to find out where they are and what they offer. Many ftms are desperate for support but don't have the confidence to go out and find it themselves. And it won't take you more than 30 seconds to cancel. Or just go out. Or tell them it's not a convenient time if they turn up.

goodness me calm down just phone them up and cancel it they have a centre in your area that offers a service they want you as a mother of a small baby to be able to use these services if you want just email them and say no thank you

Of all the daft things to get outraged about, you choose this?
May all your worries be so small.
Wait until it becomes legally enforceable, then you would have grounds to be cross. Just say no thank you and save your energy for more worthwhile targets.