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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

4 children 4 dads

578 replies

fll85 · 03/10/2013 15:50

One of my close friends is expecting her 4th baby. She is getting a lot of stick from other people in our group of friends, and even some strangers, because the 4 children have different dads.

AIBU not to see this as an issue? She is a fab mum to the 3 she has. What business is it of other people and does it matter?

OP posts:
mortuusUrsus · 03/10/2013 23:02

I can understand the concerns for the children

"Poor kids"
Oh give over

Did I misunderstand? I thought I was one of the 'vile' mafia.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 03/10/2013 23:02

My mum has been married 23 years and together have 7 children none of us was planned.

usualsuspect · 03/10/2013 23:03

someone claiming the moral high ground uses disabilist lanquage.

Oh the irony.

AmberLeaf · 03/10/2013 23:04

Threads like this sort the wheat from the chaffe

OldMacEIEIO · 03/10/2013 23:04

I believe I called you a moral coward as well

AmberLeaf · 03/10/2013 23:05

Moral coward isn't disablist. Personal attack though possibly.

RandallPinkFloyd · 03/10/2013 23:06

I don't think I'm ever going to be able to extract my eyebrows from my hair line. Surely that post didn't say what I think it said. Surely.

usualsuspect · 03/10/2013 23:06

I'm not even going to report your post.

Every one can see what a twat you are then.

HaroldLloyd · 03/10/2013 23:06

Oh my bloody god.

FrightRider · 03/10/2013 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hamdangle · 03/10/2013 23:07

Women who have four children by four men: meh

People who use the 'r' word: scum

HaroldLloyd · 03/10/2013 23:07

Old mac seriously that's disgraceful.

yourallmyfavourite · 03/10/2013 23:07

well OldMacEIEIO what would you call me? Please read my previous post and let me know I can't wait to hear

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 03/10/2013 23:10

I have reported it Usualsuspect.

There is no need to use vile language like that, it shows the poster how uneducated they are.

ExitPursuedByADragon · 03/10/2013 23:11

Thus whole thread should go pfft

RandallPinkFloyd · 03/10/2013 23:12

What the bollocks did I get deleted for?

CooCooCachoo · 03/10/2013 23:13

Ooh Lordy.....wheels have well and truly fallen off this one!

CooCooCachoo · 03/10/2013 23:14

5 .......4........3.........2...........

DameFellatioNelson · 03/10/2013 23:16

I am new to this thread. It's tricky one, because there are some children born into this position who will have a pretty shitty outcome because of it, and there are others for whom it will be no big deal. It's not ideal, obviously, but I imagine there are relatively few women who set out to have la large number of children without any expectation or hope that this father will stick around for them, and for the baby, and be 'the one.'

Having said that, I do think it is pretty irresponsible to have (several) children with men who are clearly not committed to yo or their offspring, knowing full well that you cannot financially support your brood alone, without relying on the state.

If you can, then all power to you and I don't give a stuff how many children by how many men you have, if you can instill a sense of self-worth and self-confidence in all your children, and they do not grow up carrying around a ton of baggage about being the product of someone who doesn't care.

ExitPursuedByADragon · 03/10/2013 23:16

Dunno Randall. Did you call someone a c**t

ExitPursuedByADragon · 03/10/2013 23:17

Curtsies to DameFN

Hellonewworld0 · 03/10/2013 23:23

I can't believe some of the comments on this thread. Truly naive and self righteous, some of you need to get your heads out of your backsides and open your eyes to a world outside of your naice 2.4 child family were you could fall in shit and come out smelling of roses and oh heaven forbid that anything could ever not go to plan in your pretty little lives. I have 6 children. Two are full black Jamaican, two are mixed raced - half black Jamaican half white and two are half black Jamaican and half Chinese. I could not give a shiny sparky shit with a star on the top what any of you think of my choices or my family set up bad and yes I am a lawyer and I provide for my family and do not take of the government. I had my first at 25 and my last at 45 and I am so proud of my beautiful well mannered, well raised children. The comments on this thread make me feel slightly sick.

GangstersLoveToDance · 03/10/2013 23:25

What has race got to do with it? I suppose your point is that you have kids with a minimum of three fathers? Hmm

RandallPinkFloyd · 03/10/2013 23:26

No. Not even the cunty ones!

RandallPinkFloyd · 03/10/2013 23:26

I'm going to bed in a strop.