4 children 4 dads

[fll85]

One of my close friends is expecting her 4th baby. She is getting a lot of stick from other people in our group of friends, and even some strangers, because the 4 children have different dads.

AIBU not to see this as an issue? She is a fab mum to the 3 she has. What business is it of other people and does it matter?

What's a better mum?

Someone like you?

yourallmyfavourites (great name btw!), I think your story is different as it's happened well over a 10 year period.

I would never judge anyone for having 4 kids by 4 different dads. 9 kids by 9 dads - then I might.

A better Mum is the mum she is BUT with less kids to spread herself over, a bit more money, a bit more time when she is not pregnant/ dealing with young babies and a bit more emotional headspace where she is not dealing with new partners/ new fathers/ lack of fathers.

4 kids with 4 dads is one thing. but 4 dads does not equal 4 men in her life.
I would ask the op if it is 4 kids, 4 dads and four men in in her life. in which case she has been caught every time
or is it 4 kids, 4 dads and a zillion men

So there is a cut off?

Old The OP mentioned somewhere earlier on the thread that she didn't have many men, didn't sleep around etc. As far as OP made out it was just the 4.

SPs
yes. and my bum is a cream bun

I'm only stating what has been said by the OP but I did laugh at that.

I can understand the concerns for the children etc.

The moral judgements are out of order though.

SPs
and the OP is going by what her friend told her. I guess only one person knows the actual facts

The OP is all we have to go on. That's the thing. She has fucked off now anyway.

So you think that having 4 children by 4 men means you shag a million men?

Have you read the thread at all?

I have a cup glass of Malibu now so I'm no longer annoyed. It was a record for me though.

Hope this is done now but doubt it.

usual suspect I wish I had sometimes you just get sucked into what someone is telling you.

Especially if you are vulnerable and someone is telling you what you want to hear.

I have not read the whole thread.

My view is that as long as all the children are being bought up in a clean, stable home with lots of love then that is what matters.

Who said four kids means a million men usual? I know this is a fast thread but that's twice you appear to have mentioned something that doesn't seem to have been said by any poster on this thread.

I can understand the concerns for the children etc.

The moral judgements are out of order though.

That's exactly it. Every single person's situation is different, stereotyping is wrong. This fictitious person could be a terrible mother or she could be a fantastic one but the information we've been given is no where near enough to be able to make that judgement.

fright rider.
you hit the nail on the head. If it was unplanned, it indicates a disaster
if it was planned, it indicates a disaster

Uh oh.