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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking asking for money instead of a present is rude?

191 replies

matrix11 · 01/10/2013 21:15

That is it really, DS has come out of school today, with a party invite, to a party, in a few weeks and on the back the parent has wrote a blooming poem, saying how they want to choose their own gifts, so can we please give money, between £5 and £10 please, children from both classes have been invited, apparently not all, but about 40!
What is the matter with people[shocked] or am I out of touch these days...please let me knowSmile

OP posts:
AnythingNotEverything · 01/10/2013 21:17

Wow. So they've not only asked for money, but they've specified how much?

I think that's rude. And grabby.

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 01/10/2013 21:18

We need to see the poem! Grin

LeoTheLateBloomer · 01/10/2013 21:18

Utterly vulgar. The wedding requests for cash are bad enough but a child's birthday? Shock

If they don't want lots of small toys and tat just say no presents. Fucking rude loons imo.

thegraduand · 01/10/2013 21:19

Please can we see the poem. Sounds very rude, poor children not having presents to unwrap

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 01/10/2013 21:20

I'm gonna need to see that poem...

oh and YANBU. where do some people get off?!

Johnny5needsinput · 01/10/2013 21:21

While the invite to the party was nice
We did get a bit of a fright
Did you think it was funny
To ask for some money?
Or are you just grabby as fuck?

Floggingmolly · 01/10/2013 21:21

Ridiculous, tacky people Hmm

Norudeshitrequired · 01/10/2013 21:21

I'd be tempted to give an empty card in this situation but would feel bad for the child so would buy a gift. I would tell the mum that your child likes to choose presents for her friends so you hope she's ok with that. If she isn't okay with it then just take nothing.
bloody cheek of some people asking for cash in return for a child's birthday invite, they might as well just asked everyone to fund their own place at the party. What has the world come to where people have this level of brazenness?

PrincessFlirtyPants · 01/10/2013 21:21

YABU to not post the poem Grin

Johnny5needsinput · 01/10/2013 21:22

Blush I don't usually swear. But as someone who has been a skint single parent for a long time who re-gifts things or buys stuff from the pound shop, that would really irritate me

LeoTheLateBloomer · 01/10/2013 21:23

Johnny Grin

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 01/10/2013 21:23

Specifying an amount is a bit dodgy, but I'm always delighted to pop cash in a card for a child's birthday party. Way less hassle than buying and wrapping a present

Ineedanewone · 01/10/2013 21:23

Well it is rude to ask, but from the age of about 8 onwards I always gave a flat, folding present, (£5 or £10 note) as I personally was fedup with finding something for around a fiver.

LeoTheLateBloomer · 01/10/2013 21:24

Sorry Johnny I was grinning at your poem, not your follow-up comment Blush

Meglet · 01/10/2013 21:24

Yanbu. Very cheeky if it's for a kids birthday party.

squoosh · 01/10/2013 21:26

Wow! I assumed this was a wedding invite, not a child's party. That's absolutely shocking. Poor kid, it will reflect so badly on him even though doubtlessly it was his parents idea.

Why are people so mercenary these days?

Johnny5needsinput · 01/10/2013 21:27

I know you were Leo Grin

cartoad · 01/10/2013 21:28

Dreadful. ZP

I would be very tempted to send a present bought from the pound shop :-)

And put my own poem back on it to say that one of the joys of going to a party is choosing a nice present for your friend within the budget available.

Original poster
matrix11 · 01/10/2013 21:30

I will probably get myself in trouble but here goes:

"My birthday party will be the best, please come along and be a guest, if you’re free on the party date, please come along and celebrate
My birthday party will be a treat, with lots of games and things to eat, so come along and join the fun, or you’ll be missed by everyone"

Then underneath that, the parent has put:

"Dear parents, DS is hoping he can choose his own gifts, so he would appreciate it, if you put £5 - £10 in a card and not buy a gift, Thank you.

I am so glad IANBU

OP posts:
HesterShaw · 01/10/2013 21:30

Only took one post for the word "grabby" to appear. I have never seen this word outside these particular MN threads.

It is bloody rude and presumptuous though. Fair enough for a wedding - I never mind that - but a kid's sodding birthday party?

MissStrawberry · 01/10/2013 21:30

O
M
G

QueenofallIsee · 01/10/2013 21:30

Years ago one of my DDs friends sent a gift list with the party invite which I thought rude and caused some playground eye raising - actual hysteria set on when same family gifted Xmas baubles to a 6 yr olds bday. In June.

Viviennemary · 01/10/2013 21:31

Grabby and rude. I'd buy a gift and say it was a mistake if they were cheeky enough to query it. I'd absolutely no way give money if asked to do on an invitation.

MissStrawberry · 01/10/2013 21:32

They probably think it is okay as they have put a maximum figure!

miffybun73 · 01/10/2013 21:32

YANBU, outrageously rude. I am completely Shock

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