in thinking asking for money instead of a present is rude?

[matrix11]

That is it really, DS has come out of school today, with a party invite, to a party, in a few weeks and on the back the parent has wrote a blooming poem, saying how they want to choose their own gifts, so can we please give money, between £5 and £10 please, children from both classes have been invited, apparently not all, but about 40!
What is the matter with people[shocked] or am I out of touch these days...please let me know

[Itsjustafleshwound]

Yes it is rude, but I. An kind of see where the parents are going with this ...

I usually ask the mum what the child would like and if at a total loss usually give a voucher for a local toy shop or book store.

Perhaps the execution should be questioned

[alemci]

very rude. you are given what you get given. some dp gave vouchers or cash as dc were older but never expected.

[cardamomginger]

Hilarious! In a dreadful kind of way.

[ZenNudist]

Much as £200 minimum would be better than a pile of tat it would never occur to me to ask for cash. Mortifying. I'd get whatever you're planning on getting or give nothing. £5 is really impersonal and its like you're paying party entry. It's tempting to get nothing but for not wanting to be mean on the child.

[Catsize]

Oh. My. Word.
lynette's Oxfam Unwrapped idea is good. We did this for a Christening present and often do for wedding presents.

[YouHaveAGoodPoint]

So the birthday kid is going to end up with £200-£400


Rude, rude, RUDE!

[Iaintdunnuffink]

I have no problems for weddings, close family (including nieces and nephews). I'll admit to suggesting money for my own kids from their uncles and grandparents.

I often give money and vouchers for kids birthday party gifts.

I do draw the line at requesting money for a kids party and specifying the amount. I

[Chusband]

It's amazing how everyone has agreed this is rude yet when I've expressed the same opinion in relation to weddings, I've been shouted down.

It's rude for any occasion, if you ask me.

[pianodoodle]

Rude rude rude.

The poem has the same rhythm as the Tree Fu Tom Theme which makes it even more irritating :)

[Karoleann]

I think it's really rude, we get a lot of invites like this and I always give a present instead.
Ds2 had a couple of people giving money rather than presents and he just lost it (I assume it just got incorporated into the family funds.)

[NotDead]

um could it be that is really to pay for the party. . sort of. . my fit reaction is that it's rude..but then its easy to forget that money added together can mean something really special useful etc whereas 40 crap pen sets and action figures are just so much plastic...

[runningonwillpower]

Yes it's rude.

But it's the world we live in.

I know many teenagers and adults who don't appreciate a gift unless it came from a prescribed list.

There seems to be a prevailing thought 'unless it's exactly what I asked for, I don't want it'.

And it's not just children.

I think many people have forgotten the meaning of 'gift'.

[NotDead]

Though the party will be great
And we have choclate
parties arent fun
when you resent everyone
for the cost of the things on the plate,

so please would you think
of the cost of the drink
and the effort that we have put in
and please be a dear
put a fiver in clear
and help us clean up in the sink

[KatyPutTheCuttleOn]

It's rude. I would not give money, it's just plain rude to ask.
The only time I think it is acceptable is when it is charitable donations in lieu of gifts.
It also annoys me when people put money in a card instead of a gift, it says to me that they couldn't be bothered to find a suitable gift.

[saulaboutme]

On my God daughters 2nd birthday her mum had taught her to say she wanted money as a gift! We gave it but not before we told the mum how disgusted we all were with her.
Surprisingly I don't see this mum anymore, but because of something much worse.

Id definitely bring a gift and f the request.

[Viviennemary]

Send a note saying your DC wants money instead of a party bag.

[DioneTheDiabolist]

When it comes to adults, I understand the request for money. Money is important to grown-ups. Presents are really important for DCs. For those who say this is hypocritical, it's really not (for a number of reasons).

[Bowlersarm]

I prefer it tbh.

I wouldn't ask for money for my DC's unless i was specifically asked what they would like, but if they were going to a party I'd much prefer handing money over than faffing round trying to think of a present the birthday child might like, which they probably won't which would then by recycled as a present or on eBay or whatever but likely not to be used at all by the receiver.

[NoComet]

I thought this was another wedding one. I like being asked for money for weddings as I like to feel I've given people something they need or happy honeymoon memories.

But not for a birthday party, it's one thing to ask granny, who wastes money on awful clothes for cash, but not school friends.

Very rude, you have no idea of people's circumstances and how many other birthdays they have to buy for this month.

In any case re-gifting duplicates and lucky bargains sometimes get DCs gifts worth more than normal not less.

[NoComet]

That is not to say, now the DDs friends are older, that I mind giving cash, if I ask what they want.

But not a blanket request.

[WaitMonkey]

This is awful.

[Catsize]

vivienne, that is a great idea, but i suspect that there will be a stall at the party selling party bags. With upgrade options.

[Sarahplane]

That's ridiculous.

[Donkeyok]

My dd went to one of these. It was a leaving party for a 6 year old. They asked for a £10 to buy a new bed at the new house. I resented putting it in. As a friend took my dd I asked what happened when she got the card and she said, "oh her mummy just collected all the cards in!"
Jonny my brother and I have been regifting the same £5 for about 10 years now

[Nanny0gg]

Very very rude.

I would definitively buy a present out of principle now.

Has she friends that can point out how rude she's been?