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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be hovering somewhere between livid & terrified (DH gone AWOL!)

163 replies

BleedinEck · 30/09/2013 20:26

I called DH this afternoon to remind him I'm out on a course tonight & ask him to put DC's dinner in the oven as he was due home first. Mid conversation his phone cuts out but as I'd said everything I needed to I just assumed he was with a customer & didn't call back. I arrived home at 7pm with starving & tired DC to find the house in darkness & raw chicken sat in the fridge Confused

He's still not answering his phone or replying to texts, my course started an hour ago & kids had to have beans on toast.

DH does have form for disappearing (50% of the time to the pub the other 50% work related) so my initial reaction is to be fucking furious but as time goes on I'm starting to get worried that something awful has happened. Should I start ringing his mates/work colleagues or sit it out a bit longer!?

OP posts:
Tailz · 30/09/2013 20:28

Gosh, that is worrying. Are your DC ok/settled?

I would call his 'drinking buddies' and see if they have heard from him. Can you call anyone that works with him to see what time left the Office?

BlackeyedSusan · 30/09/2013 20:28

oh heck. I hope he comes back soon.

DameFanny · 30/09/2013 20:28

You've called his work?

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 30/09/2013 20:28

Could you ring his work to check it's not that 50%. It might embarrass him a bit but who cares if he is there and hasn't the decency to let you know what's going on.

froken · 30/09/2013 20:28

Yes start ringing.

how worrying for you :(

Would he really leave his kids with no dinner?

I would ring the police but I am probably have a slightly more hysterical nature than your average person.

I hope he is home very soon.

Squitten · 30/09/2013 20:29

Track him down first.

I would definitely ring everyone and see if anyone has seen him. If he is anywhere other than in a hospital, I'd be absolutely livid!

elportodelgato · 30/09/2013 20:30

Yes start ringing round, definitely. Hope you find him and it's a work-related emergency and not a booze-related incident Angry

VanitasVanitatum · 30/09/2013 20:30

I'd be terrified, but if he does have form for this don't panic yet. I would definitely try and get in touch with the people he might be with though.

BuskersCat · 30/09/2013 20:31

I would ring everyone you know, if no response from anyone then police :( Sending you some ((hugs))

Fairenuff · 30/09/2013 20:31

Ring everyone you know. If there is no news, ring the hospitals. If they don't have him, ring the police.

CaptainSweatPants · 30/09/2013 20:32

If he's in the pub I'd be beyond livid

Handbagsonnhold · 30/09/2013 20:33

Absoultely call! You say in the brief conversation you had you had relayed everything to him you needed him to do.....so it's quite a worry for you! Call check he's ok.....then chew his ear off!!.......

ImpatientOne · 30/09/2013 20:33

Poor you :(

My DH is completely rubbish at keeping in touch so I understand the terror/fury combination.

I would definitely try work to see if anyone knows anything.

LaurieFairyCake · 30/09/2013 20:33

It will be deliberate

What a twat, my ex was like this

Used to pretend not to hear stuff he didn't want to

DurhamDurham · 30/09/2013 20:33

I would ring around his mates/work colleagues now, even if it's just to give you something pro-active to do. I would be fuming by now, my mind goes into over drive and I always assume the worst so you sound quite calm compared to me.

Hope you find him so and he is ok. When you find him and he is ok you have every right to kick him for his thoughtless behaviour!

BigPawsBrown · 30/09/2013 20:34

Gosh, if he's in the pub... How awful would that be when he knew you'd have to miss your course?

daisychain01 · 30/09/2013 20:34

OK so at least you know he was at work today, so that's a start. Yes I would definitely start to ring round, starting with the people you think he might have been in contact with today - if you have work colleagues numbers, then start with them.

When you say he has done the "disappearing act" before, do you know what happened on those previous occasions - just trying to think whether you have some pattern to go by, for example, does he go to one regular pub? When you say work related, does that mean he stays in the office until late, or does he leave the office and go somewhere. Maybe you can follow that through.

I hope you find out what happens quickly so you aren't too worried - it is terrible, not knowing. Keep us posted x

Finola1step · 30/09/2013 20:34

When you ring his phone, does it ring out or go straight to voicemail?

bundaberg · 30/09/2013 20:34

definitely ring round.

Original poster
BleedinEck · 30/09/2013 20:34

He's self-employed & no work place t & I don't know the contractors to call. We're all fine & DC is bed asleep but I'm feeling a bit edgy. Part of me just wants him home safely but then if nothing has happened it really will make me question his respect for me & the DC and wonder where the fuck his priorities lie so neither are particularly palatable options.

I don't care about embarrassing him/me as I'll either have justified reason to be worried or he bloody well should be embarrassed. I'll give it til 9 then call a fee of his most regular drinking buddies.

OP posts:
thebody · 30/09/2013 20:35

ring colleagues, if he is in the pub that will serve him right.

if no joy ring police.

Original poster
BleedinEck · 30/09/2013 20:36

His mobile rings out Hmm

OP posts:
Squitten · 30/09/2013 20:37

Start ringing now! Why waste another half hour torturing yourself?

thinkofthemoney · 30/09/2013 20:37

I hope he turns up, must be really worrying for you.

EileenDovers · 30/09/2013 20:37

Well rationally if he was at work and something terrible had happened to make the call end swiftly someone would have found him and taken him to hospital and you would have been called, so try not to worry too much!