aibu or was my friends reply very bitchy?

[KatyPurrey]

So a couple of weeks ago I organised a night out with friend (let's call her Megan) and a few other friends. Megan agreed to it and said she was looking forward to it.

I text Megan 3 days before I asked if she was still coming, she replied that she was sorry but she was now seeing another friend as this friend had changed her plans last minute and having a leaving party that same night (she is travelling around Asia for a year)

I didn't reply and she text me a further two times apologising. I told her exactly why I was annoyed as I had been looking forward to the night and she had only bothered to tell me when I chased her up on it.

She replied saying that it was never intentional and that she was sorry and as a friend I shouldn't think the worst of her.

The reply annoyed me so I decided to ignore otherwise I would have said something I might regret later.

Back in the present day (2 weeks later after having not spoken in that time), a good friend (a mutual friend too) is having a birthday dinner on Friday, quite last minute plans and I have agreed to go and I assumed as Megan is very close to her she would be going to.

I text her saying that I hope we can forget about our little argument, I know it wasn't intentional and that we can just forgive and forget?

Her response -

I never actually fell out with though. But sure we can just put it behind us.

Aibu to think that it is childish at best, or just plain bitchy?

You have totally over reacted.

Um. I don't think it's either tbh. She's saying as far as she's concerned she didn't fall out with you over it and yes is happy to put it behind her, same as you.

Am I missing something?

YABU - I cant honestly see what she did wrong and her replies seem a lot more mature than yours.

Basically you are ignored because she blew you out but as her friend was having a leaving party and going away for a year I totally understand why she did.

I don't think she is being childish and bitchy at all but you on the other hand......sorry!

YABU, imo. If she didn't fall out with you, then surely she's just agreeing with you to put the matter behind you?

you are annoyed, not ignored!!

I agree, reading waaaaay to much into something that isn't there.

Doesn't sound childish to me, or bitchy.

Sounds like the sensible thing to do.

What did you want her to say?

Why can't you call instead of texting? Texting lends itself to much misinterpretation of intent or meaning.

FWIW, she's apologised, and is hoping you can move on. Those are positives, I'd take them.

Erm, tbh I think you over reacted and have handled things a lot worse than she has.

I don't know what you are reading into her latest message, but I can't see anything childish or bitchy about it.

YABU.

I think you are the childish one OP. She said sorry, you did not graciously accept and you want to keep it going 2 weeks later? I think Megan is being nicer than I would!

Though I'm never really sure what people mean by being bitchy?

Well just that I was reaching out to her to make up and her response back was very sharp and to the point.

Eh? I don't get it. What is bitchy or childish about it? She is being as calm and conciliatory as a person could be. I also think that you were being rather ott in your initial response to her cancelling your night out.

YAB very silly.

She has done nothing wrong. You have totally over reacted.

yabu.....from what you're saying it sounds to me like you fell out with her; she didnt fall out with you. so she is neither childish nor bitchy in saying that she didn't fall out with you, just truthful, and is happy to forget about it. not sure what the issue is.

What did you want her to say?

I didn't reply and she sent me that message yesterday afternoon.

What are you suppose to say to that?

But she didn't see a need to make up because she's an adult and hadn't thought it warranted a falling out in the first place.

Making up is what primary age kids do, not adults.

I think she was saying that from her point of view there was no issue and then, yes, let's move on. What else did you want?

She's just trying to say that she wasn't annoyed with you, presumably despite the fact that you made a pretty big deal over her original misdemeanour by ignoring her texts and refusing to accept her apology. I think YABU both then and now and seem determined to think the worst of her.

She has done nothing wrong

Really?

She agreed to a night out and on a few occasions I saw her, she kept saying I'm still coming.

And it's only when I do ask her nearer the time she changes her mind.

The correct answer is: 'That's great. I'll see you at (mutual friend's) dinner.'

There... easy.

Grow up OP

You should reply, "great, I'll look forward to seeing you at such and such". or if you want to say a bit more you could say "I'm really happy to hear that because it's been worrying me a bit, see you soon"

Her friend was going away for a year, I think that is good enough reason to not come out with you and some others.

Jeez, you do sound like hard work - are you usually this sensitive? Do you fall out with many people?

YABU I'm afraid. If I was her I'd actually be very annoyed with you over the way you reacted to her cancelling.