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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu or was my friends reply very bitchy?

166 replies

KatyPurrey · 18/09/2013 15:00

So a couple of weeks ago I organised a night out with friend (let's call her Megan) and a few other friends. Megan agreed to it and said she was looking forward to it.

I text Megan 3 days before I asked if she was still coming, she replied that she was sorry but she was now seeing another friend as this friend had changed her plans last minute and having a leaving party that same night (she is travelling around Asia for a year)

I didn't reply and she text me a further two times apologising. I told her exactly why I was annoyed as I had been looking forward to the night and she had only bothered to tell me when I chased her up on it.

She replied saying that it was never intentional and that she was sorry and as a friend I shouldn't think the worst of her.

The reply annoyed me so I decided to ignore otherwise I would have said something I might regret later.

Back in the present day (2 weeks later after having not spoken in that time), a good friend (a mutual friend too) is having a birthday dinner on Friday, quite last minute plans and I have agreed to go and I assumed as Megan is very close to her she would be going to.

I text her saying that I hope we can forget about our little argument, I know it wasn't intentional and that we can just forgive and forget?

Her response -

I never actually fell out with though. But sure we can just put it behind us.

Aibu to think that it is childish at best, or just plain bitchy?

OP posts:
Groovee · 18/09/2013 20:43

Anyone able to link to the other thread as I've been unable to find it.

magnumicelolly · 18/09/2013 20:45

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a1844380-Aibu-and-a-bad-friend-or-is-she-just-being-childish

Oops posted it on other thread first by mistake! And no idea how to make it clicky, sorry! I'm useless...

Saffyz · 18/09/2013 20:45

You don't sound "hard work" OP, you sound like someone who overthinks things a bit and takes things to heart. But I'd far rather have a friend like that than an insensitive one, because it means you'd be considerate and thoughtful.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 18/09/2013 20:49

Here

Groovee · 18/09/2013 20:55

Thank you, I'm off to read.

SoupDragon · 19/09/2013 07:15

Interesting

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 19/09/2013 07:27

YABU I can see why you might be slightly peed off with her not letting you know she was not coming until you chased up, but you mentioned you were also going out with other friends so its not like the night had to be cancelled.

Since then you have been VU and over thinking things.

birdybear · 19/09/2013 07:37

Has anyone actually agreed with you op ? No ? Them take the general consensus as you are hard work, you fell out with her rather than she with you. She is being gracious and mature with you. Perhaps you could have a hard long think about yourself and see if you can be the same. Or do you want to ruin your friendship!?

Tuppenceinred · 19/09/2013 07:41

Grow up and try speaking to people sometimes instead of texting.

Mckayz · 19/09/2013 07:56

If I was Megan I'd be hotfooting it to the first plane to Asia for a year!!

ConfusedPixie · 19/09/2013 10:36

YABU, she apologised and explained that her friend was off travelling. I'm sorry but I too would cancel pre-made plans that could be rescheduled if it meant seeing a friend before they left for a year!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 19/09/2013 11:22

I agree that Megan's behaviour is fine except she should have to told you as soon as she knew that she needed to change her plans. However, she did let you know as soon as you mentioned the night out and she did apologise so really at worst she's been a bit forgetful. Not worth falling out over...

CommanderShepard · 19/09/2013 13:03

Rapidly reaching the conclusion that MN is on glue this week. Are you gluezilla?

I haven't spoken to my best friend in 3 weeks. We've not fallen out... we have lives!

kali110 · 20/09/2013 12:34

Yabu. How do you know that she wadnt about to contact you to say her plans had changed?it was a last minute party not like she could have warned you in advance.life happens

lisylisylou · 20/09/2013 12:56

I think yabvu. However, I think the op sounds very hurt and I think because she felt hurt she over reacted. It's hard when someone turns you down but the op was going out with other friends and there was a really valid reason for her going to wish a really good friend goodbye on a night out. The friend clearly felt awful but the op did take it waaaay over the top and played silly games. I genuinely can't blame the friend for not replying. But I do think it was out of hurt the op acted out of however, I do wonder is there a bit of a backstory to this?

NandH · 20/09/2013 13:00

Umm, your friend hasn't done anything wrong, its you!

So yes, YABU.

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