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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu or was my friends reply very bitchy?

166 replies

KatyPurrey · 18/09/2013 15:00

So a couple of weeks ago I organised a night out with friend (let's call her Megan) and a few other friends. Megan agreed to it and said she was looking forward to it.

I text Megan 3 days before I asked if she was still coming, she replied that she was sorry but she was now seeing another friend as this friend had changed her plans last minute and having a leaving party that same night (she is travelling around Asia for a year)

I didn't reply and she text me a further two times apologising. I told her exactly why I was annoyed as I had been looking forward to the night and she had only bothered to tell me when I chased her up on it.

She replied saying that it was never intentional and that she was sorry and as a friend I shouldn't think the worst of her.

The reply annoyed me so I decided to ignore otherwise I would have said something I might regret later.

Back in the present day (2 weeks later after having not spoken in that time), a good friend (a mutual friend too) is having a birthday dinner on Friday, quite last minute plans and I have agreed to go and I assumed as Megan is very close to her she would be going to.

I text her saying that I hope we can forget about our little argument, I know it wasn't intentional and that we can just forgive and forget?

Her response -

I never actually fell out with though. But sure we can just put it behind us.

Aibu to think that it is childish at best, or just plain bitchy?

OP posts:
Original poster
KatyPurrey · 18/09/2013 16:06

It was the fact that she obviously knew we had fallen out as we hadn't spoken in two weeks - that's why I think it was bitchy.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 18/09/2013 16:07

That would be from your point of view. But she might not see things that way.

Worryingnamechanger · 18/09/2013 16:07

She didnt know you'd fallen out. She knew she'd apologised and you'd had a hissy fit and ignored her. You might have fallen out with her but she clearly hadnt with you and that's all her reply says. You sound like a 14 year old.

SoupDragon · 18/09/2013 16:09

OP, you need to grow up.

She's done nothing wrong, you've dragged it on and sulked about it.

BehindLockNumberNine · 18/09/2013 16:10

She had NOT fallen out with YOU. But YOU had fallen out with HER.
She apologised several times for not making it to the meet up. You chose to take offense and ignore her for two weeks.

Sorry OP, you sound like hard work (and a bit needy?)

TheOneWithTheHair · 18/09/2013 16:10

You didn't get in touch for two weeks either. It works both ways op.

She obviously never gave it another thought while you have been stewing over this. She had a good reason to cancel the first night out.

You are seeing offence where there is none. YABU.

FunnyRunner · 18/09/2013 16:11

YABU. I think she was making the point that YOU fell out with HER, not the other way round. Let it go.

ShakeAndVac · 18/09/2013 16:11

She's done nothing wrong, you've dragged it on and sulked about it.

This.How's she supposed to know you've been stewing over it for the past few weeks when she's apologised repeatedly?

NothingsLeft · 18/09/2013 16:12

YABU and are making way too much of this.

Your friend has been very gracious, just try and do the same. Smile

buss · 18/09/2013 16:13

You are annoyed because she hasn't acknowledged that you had fallen out with her?

Madamecastafiore · 18/09/2013 16:13

You can have one of my grips.

I am going to start charging soon though as having to hand them out like candy on here recently.

buss · 18/09/2013 16:13

or even explodes....

EarthMither · 18/09/2013 16:13

YABVU OP and you sound like very hard work

KellyElly · 18/09/2013 16:13

I have a feeling the OP is not going to accept she is being unreasonable.

MooncupGoddess · 18/09/2013 16:13

I often don't speak to my friends for a couple of weeks. I don't see why you had to bring the matter up again. If you were worried about seeing her again you could have just texted to say 'How's it going? Looking forward to seeing you on Fri.'

Original poster
KatyPurrey · 18/09/2013 16:15

You chose to take offense and ignore her for two weeks.

I didn't ignore her, we just didn't contact each other after she had sent that text saying as a friend I shouldn't think the worst of her etc.

OP posts:
Fairy1303 · 18/09/2013 16:17

Don't want to scare you OP but there was an AIBU a couple of weeks ago where the OP wasn't sure if she had been unreasonable by cancelling a night out at the last minute because someone was having a late notice leaving party to go travelling!

FWIW, YABU.

BehindLockNumberNine · 18/09/2013 16:17

Ok, so now you are saying that the two weeks there was no contact was just that, no contact.

But earlier on you cited it as evidence there had been a falling out??

Basically, you were disappointed, she apologised, you each went on with your lives and there was no contact between you for two weeks.
THAT DOES NOT MAKE A FALLING OUT!!

reggiebean · 18/09/2013 16:18

KellyElly Agreed. 4 pages of YABU, and she's still arguing that she's in the right. Confused

BehindLockNumberNine · 18/09/2013 16:19

And by telling her that you felt you had fallen out (by saying put it behind us) you are in essence telling her you did not accept her apology.
So you are making an issue out of this initial, small disappointment and are still thinking of it in terms of a falling out...

buss · 18/09/2013 16:19

'The reply annoyed me so I decided to ignore otherwise I would have said something I might regret later. '

you say yourself you ignored her in your OP

tripecity · 18/09/2013 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BehindLockNumberNine · 18/09/2013 16:21

Thank you buss, was starting to doubt myself...

OP, let it go. For the sake of your own blood pressure and for the sake of any friendship with poor Megan.
Just let.it.go!

YouTheCat · 18/09/2013 16:21

So... she hasn't grovelled at all over the two weeks? Hmm

LovesBeingOnHoliday · 18/09/2013 16:23

You fell out with her, rather than you two having a falling out.

Look either you want to be friends or you don't, you sound like you're looking for a way to fall out.