It's a penis, no?

[MamyPoko]

So, I'm drying my son (nearly 2) after his bath. He grabs his penis, and I say (helpfully) "that's your penis." DH, nearby, counters "that's your pipi, DS." I say, "it's his pipi, but it's also his penis." DH tells me, "people don't like it if you use the proper word"

I look blank. He uses the word penis in relation to his own equipment, so I'm assuming he means people don't like you using the proper terms in relation to small children. I ask for clarification, as to what people, when. He doesn't know, but is adamant (and, apparently, "vagina" is worse). He invokes the BBC guidelines, and claims you wouldn't say penis or vagina on daytime TV unless it was "editorially relevant". Naming a penis a penis is relevant, no?

(I think by "people", he might mean his mother)

Now, I've done sex education with young people with disabilities, and it's really important they learn to use anatomically correct words. It gives them an adult vocabulary which is important for keeping safe, for starting sexual relationships, and for accessing healthcare. It's not right to infantalise them.

DH says it is right to infantalise DS, because he's an infant. He then said, "Go on, ask your Mumsnet"

MY Mumsnet.

Correct terms. Well, my DD's call it vagina, not vulva but they know the difference between the two.

I hate the word fanny.. growing up I would have been right told off for using that vulgar word I had a winky.

Fanny is used in the US to describe the buttocks.
So with increasing Americanisation of our language and culture it's meaning as as vulva/ vagina cannot be assumed.

I think the only non-correct words that can't be ambiguous are willy=penis and boobs=breasts. Anything else is less established than these two and can cause confusion. Including pipi which I think could also be used by girls to mean the same general thing as "front bottom" and is therefore to be avoided.

Always use the correct terms, it totally unnecessary not to.

for many reasons, as well as what AgentP said, I got shot down recently on hear for saying similar, but it makes things easier,

and it also give children dignity and confidence as they get older being comfortable using the correct terms.

It only adult hang ups about usage of the correct terms, why pass on hang ups?

it also give children dignity and confidence as they get older being comfortable using the correct terms

That is hogwash. Kids will use whatever terms the other kids use, using naff terms will get them ridiculed, not build dignity and confidence.

There is no rational reason for using penis etc over perfectly well understood colloquial terms (in case of abuse is not a rational reason, it's an irrational fear)

I wonder what the correlation between parents insisting their pre schoolers use anatomically correct names and those buying only correct wooden toys, feeding celery instead of sweets etc etc is.

It is absolutely not 'up to adults to understand' that's exactly the point. It matters not one jot if YOU understand a Minnie is actually a fanny and not a bottom, what matters is making it absolutely clear on paper and in interview what is meant by those words, parents don't get a say on it.

I use fanny because according to my sources it is an unambiguous term that labels the whole area of a females genitals. My sources being police officers and social workers.

I think it's very important that children use easy to understand and unambiguous names for their genitals.

Most of the people arguing for 'correct' names seem to be saying 'vagina' which is incorrect as that is part of a fanny not the whole thing.

I would just much prefer my children to not feel embarrassed and be able to talk for themselves at a doctors appointment.

I have a combo of wooden toys and plastic flashy light toys and have never pretended celery is a sweet

I should, at this point reassure people that medical doctors are both familiar with a considerable range of terms for a person's body parts, and also able to understand what children are on about even when they don't share terminology.

I would question though, whether someone too embarrassed to call a penis a penis, has actually spoken to their child about what a foreskin is (for example)

Of course they are but I know grown adults who get all weirded out by it and I don't get that.

I was too embarrassed to use the words vagina, anus and penis when I was interviewed. I was 15 and those words I just couldn't bring myself to say. I can say them in any other situation but that one I just couldn't.

I obviously knew them but that situation I was ashamed and embarrassed.

Doctors appointments I have no issue with.

We call it willy, but I couldn't care less what other people call it. I'm perfectly happy for 5yo ds to know its proper name and I expect questions will be arising as I am expecting dc3. He asked how the baby got in my tummy and I kind of blustered through it but now I am prepared if he asks again!

My grandsons use willy but know that the 'grown up word' is penis.when my ds was 6 we had a parent of a friend complain that ds had told their son that his 'little winkle' was really a penis.The dad had been in the Navy-I bet he didn't say 'little winkle' there .
Girls are more difficult but dd used 'gina' [rhymes with China].

In American slang fanny means just bottom-not sure what they say for vulva.

We use the proper words.
I had never even considered that AgentProvocateur either, but thanks for enlightening me (and others) I have a severely disabled daughter and we use proper words, but tbh i hadn't considered the relevance in that context (and abuse terrifies me)

All sorts of reasons (not just child protection) why children should learn the correct terms. DS has recurrent episodes of balanitis (medical reasons - we are seeing a consultant). The other day he came home from school complaining of pain, but said he hadn't been able to tell the teacher because they weren't allowed to say "willy" in class. I had to explain that this referred to children teasing each other or being naughty running around shouting it out loud just for laughs, and that it was perfectly acceptable to say it to the teacher in the context of being worried about it hurting. And that he could say "my penis hurts", which would be fine too.

Planning to write to school about this - in a nice, non-confrontational way (and also mention that this sort of blanket ban might impact their child protection policies - what if a child wants to disclose abuse, but "willy" is the only name he knows, and he's been told he's not allowed to say it?)

That ridiculous to have banned the word willy.

In fairness, they may well not have done so. It may have been a ban on running round the playground shouting "willy" at the top of their voices, which DS has then interpreted to mean "any talking about willies in any context" - 5 year olds aren't terribly good at separating out the general and the particular. But even if it's a misunderstanding, it needs to be cleared up.

How true about 5yos though

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