It's a penis, no?

[MamyPoko]

So, I'm drying my son (nearly 2) after his bath. He grabs his penis, and I say (helpfully) "that's your penis." DH, nearby, counters "that's your pipi, DS." I say, "it's his pipi, but it's also his penis." DH tells me, "people don't like it if you use the proper word"

I look blank. He uses the word penis in relation to his own equipment, so I'm assuming he means people don't like you using the proper terms in relation to small children. I ask for clarification, as to what people, when. He doesn't know, but is adamant (and, apparently, "vagina" is worse). He invokes the BBC guidelines, and claims you wouldn't say penis or vagina on daytime TV unless it was "editorially relevant". Naming a penis a penis is relevant, no?

(I think by "people", he might mean his mother)

Now, I've done sex education with young people with disabilities, and it's really important they learn to use anatomically correct words. It gives them an adult vocabulary which is important for keeping safe, for starting sexual relationships, and for accessing healthcare. It's not right to infantalise them.

DH says it is right to infantalise DS, because he's an infant. He then said, "Go on, ask your Mumsnet"

MY Mumsnet.

As someone involved with both the police and children that have been abused correct terms please

Penis
Breasts
Etc

I don't understand why people have and issue with a child using the correct name for anything

ohforduckscake It's confusing as we have to be certain that we know what the children are actually talking about. If you are standing in court and the defence lawyer asks how i know that the girl was talking about her vagina when she said her foof, or her flower or her tuppence etc then it can get difficult.

You are right.

Your dh is wrong.

Penis & vagina/vulva in this house.

Which is exactly what I said little

What is the correct way to name bottom, please?

Meditrina
I suppose if you are going to teach DC to defecate (not poo), urinate (not wee) (and perhaps even masticate, not chew), and that they have an anal sphincter, not a bottom, there is a logic to proper names only.

but isn't the point that there are levels of "proper" language? I would (and have, I'm sure!) used penis and vulva in conversation; I haven't yet had occaision to use "anal sphincter"

Hang on a second, 'as someone involved with both police and children tnat have been abused correct terms please'

I guess you are not insinuating that those who dont use correct terms are more likely to be at risk (because that would be ridiculous) and I can only hope you arent saying it so our potentially abused children can use the correct terms when telling the police because that would be ludicrous.

So why exactly are you asking as, as someone who 'is involved with both police and children who have been abused' to use the correct terms?

littlewhitebag surely it doesnt take a genius though?

Arse.

And it's a widge

It's about ambiguity. I think I'm just going to stop typing because I think people don't read what I write and therefore I am not 'in' on the conversation or whatever

If in the event a child is abused, there is much less stress and upset to that child if they can correctly talk about the areas of their body. Any ambiguity means a lot of horrid conversations that are not necessary.

It also adds to an air of 'secrecy' around body parts and embarrassment about speaking of them. This increases risk of abuse.

If in the event a child is abused, there is much less stress and upset to that child if they can correctly talk about the areas of their body. Any ambiguity means a lot of horrid conversations that are not necessary.

It also adds to an air of 'secrecy' around body parts and embarrassment about speaking of them. This increases risk of abuse.

Ds has a willy, dd has a vagina.

I wish there was an equivalent of Willy for girls, something age-appropriate.

I agree with OHforDuckscake it's not confusing.
But your DH is being unreasonable.
It's a winky.
There's no reason to not use alternative names for genitalia.
Adults use different terms for their genetalia depending on the context.
Medical/ personal/ sexual situations require different words.
Besides, "vagina" for example, is inaccurate in many ways. It fails to define the labia and clitoris. So "Minnie", "fanny" whatever are just as useful, if not more so. (Although I understand that Germaine Greer endorses the use of the word "cunt" as it is the most appropriately descriptive for the combination of vagina, labia and clitoris. That would not sound nice from a child though IMHO.)

When I was a child we referred to ours as our "Minnie" there would have been no doubt whatever if we'd had to explain that someone had touched it inappropriately.

I agree with misuse of the word 'vagina'

And I disagree that there is any protective element in using biological textbook terms rather than familiar words.
This is a simplistic view IMHO that doesn't really take into account the nature of the issue.
Besides. Just because someone says "pipi" rather than "penis" doesn't mean they attribute any more secrecy or shame to discussing intimate issues.

You disagree with the entire nspcc and police safeguarding guidelines then.

There are there for very good reason.

Actually, that is certainly not the entirety of the either the police guidelines or the nspcc advice on protecting children from sexual abuse.

Okay. I need to be clear. Not knowing the correct terminology for you privates does NOT make your child more likely to be abused. Please do not think this at all.

However, if your child is subjected to a sexual assault knowing the correct terminology will help immensely when talking to police and SW.

During any child protection interview when it is allegations of a sexual nature we need to encourage the child to tell us the correct name for the parts they are describing. Saying 'down there' or 'my privates' or my peepee/flower is just not enough. Many young children just do not know the correct name for their genitals.

I sincerely hope that most of your children are never abused. however, it would not hurt to teach them the correct names for their genitals so they could, if needed, say what they were called.

I didn't say it was.

Proper names here too although dp raises his eyebrows. They do say willy too though.

Encouraging the use of nonsense names for body parts does lead to people having embarrassment about talking about them.

The only reason for doing it is because you think the real words are somehow shameful or embarrassing

I cant believe Im about to ask this, but whats the different between a vagina and vulva?

Because I thought vagina referred to the whole shebang and the vulva was the opening?

My DS always had a willy when younger, but now (age 14) has a penis! He made my mum a cuppa the other day in a mug that he found in the back of the cupboard that is penis shaped, (given to me when I left work!!!) DM almost passed out, DS said 'for goodness sake nan it's only a penis!
And I remember when he was starting to read, I had a book on the shelf called '100 things to do with vinegar' DS said mummy why have you got a book about vaginas on your shelf!!

Vulva is the bit on the outside and vagina is the bit on the inside.