It's a penis, no?

[MamyPoko]

So, I'm drying my son (nearly 2) after his bath. He grabs his penis, and I say (helpfully) "that's your penis." DH, nearby, counters "that's your pipi, DS." I say, "it's his pipi, but it's also his penis." DH tells me, "people don't like it if you use the proper word"

I look blank. He uses the word penis in relation to his own equipment, so I'm assuming he means people don't like you using the proper terms in relation to small children. I ask for clarification, as to what people, when. He doesn't know, but is adamant (and, apparently, "vagina" is worse). He invokes the BBC guidelines, and claims you wouldn't say penis or vagina on daytime TV unless it was "editorially relevant". Naming a penis a penis is relevant, no?

(I think by "people", he might mean his mother)

Now, I've done sex education with young people with disabilities, and it's really important they learn to use anatomically correct words. It gives them an adult vocabulary which is important for keeping safe, for starting sexual relationships, and for accessing healthcare. It's not right to infantalise them.

DH says it is right to infantalise DS, because he's an infant. He then said, "Go on, ask your Mumsnet"

MY Mumsnet.

milbracat how about "stool" or "excrement" or "plop plops"?

Thereal The first two would be better than "pooh"
Thanks for the suggestions

Plop plops! I am hysterically giggling trying not to wake dh who is snoring next to me !

It is a good one.

The other day DD (2.6) solemnly informed me that 'girls have baginas and boys have wellies'

We say fanny and willy here. That doesn't seem twee as it is used for adults or children.

Penis and vulva are obviously known terms by the kids but they seem overly medical, like saying 'I have just been for an excrement'.

I wince when I hear terms like pee-pee or minnie/fairy/nunny - really nauseating.

When I worked as an au-pair I had to put up with the parents of the 2-year old girl I looked after refer to their daughter's genitalia as her "pussy" - and used that word with her too. I.e. in potty training, "did you wipe your pussy?" Aibu for thinking that choice of word was totally inappropriate??

DD (7) refers to herself as having a front bottom and back bottom - her choice. DS (2) talks about his willy and balls (that one is new this week).

But, t they both also know the correct anatomical names. Well, DS knows penis, not sure he's mastered vulva, scrotum or testicles yet.

Friends of ours always referred to their daughter's Twinkle. Brought a whole new dimension to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, I tell you.

I went to a doctor who referred to my 'boobs' FFS what is wrong with calling them breasts??

To use twee names for penis or vulva implies there is something shameful about them. Nothing wrong with using proper names regardless of a person's age!

I think fanny and willy are twee too.

My son has said 'woolly' for the last 3 years and refuses to be told any other name for it! His brother has started to use it now too. then he came home from school and told me he had hurt his peanuts last week!! I promise he is not getting these names for us, god knows what 5 year old boys talk about in the playground :-) we use willy/testicles.
freckley - pussy is all kinds of wrong!

'Strange how people pick uponm that rather than the morelikely scenario of having to talk to a doctor about your privates.'

How old are you? And you're still calling them 'privates'?

There's a difference between knowing the correct word and the word you use habitually. My girls know the correct name is vulva but they call it their flower. Similarly they know the correct name is penis but refer to DH's "wee man". Personally I have no problem with them using whatever term they are most comfortable with as long as they know the correct anatomical terms.

we wont use the anatomically correct names when it comes to the time of asking. In day to day use I wouldn't use penis and vulva so why would I expect them to use it? I don't use anatomically correct names for everything else either(breasts are tits or boobs, testicles are balls, anus is bum etc.) so why would these parts differ? the only time I hear people speaking about testicles or breasts are when they speak about cancer of these parts, breast cancer or testicular cancer, but in general people use the common terms for them - no one uses these terms day to day.

as long as I understood what dd was on about that's all that matters - doesn't matter a jot about anyone else trying to understand her whilst she is a child.

Oh my god I'm shocked at the use of PUSSY on a child!

Gross.

Does everyone here really use penis, vagina, scrotum, sphincter etc when referring to their own and partners' genitalia?

Nope. Not me.

Poo is faeces.

Pooh is a bear.

We use the same names for our bits n pieces with the children as we do for each other.

No 'you must call it this made up name because its less embarrassing for me'

We say 'private parts' in our house. Very old fashioned here. My children know the correct terms but when I shout up the stairs to my son 'don't forget to wash your private parts' I think it sounds better than shouting 'penis' and so do my neighbours.

I see. And do you use the medical names for all body parts, or just the genitalia?

We use boob, nipple, willy and balls - I think these are all fairly unambiguous terms. We also say bum, bottom and bum hole. We haven't discussed what we will call DD's genitals yet.

That was for the penis/ vagina brigade btw.

I don't think there is anything wrong with using a nickname, but there is something wrong about implying that the correct name is a 'rude' word.

I can't imagine that anybody would be bothered by a 2 year old talking about his penis, and conversely There are many situations where discussion of your foof/winkle/twinkle/pipi would be inappropriate, whatever terminology you used. (But again, people are generally forgiving of small children).

I imagine that in abuse cases, the issue is not just that a child can be understood, but also that they can understand others.