It's a penis, no?

[MamyPoko]

So, I'm drying my son (nearly 2) after his bath. He grabs his penis, and I say (helpfully) "that's your penis." DH, nearby, counters "that's your pipi, DS." I say, "it's his pipi, but it's also his penis." DH tells me, "people don't like it if you use the proper word"

I look blank. He uses the word penis in relation to his own equipment, so I'm assuming he means people don't like you using the proper terms in relation to small children. I ask for clarification, as to what people, when. He doesn't know, but is adamant (and, apparently, "vagina" is worse). He invokes the BBC guidelines, and claims you wouldn't say penis or vagina on daytime TV unless it was "editorially relevant". Naming a penis a penis is relevant, no?

(I think by "people", he might mean his mother)

Now, I've done sex education with young people with disabilities, and it's really important they learn to use anatomically correct words. It gives them an adult vocabulary which is important for keeping safe, for starting sexual relationships, and for accessing healthcare. It's not right to infantalise them.

DH says it is right to infantalise DS, because he's an infant. He then said, "Go on, ask your Mumsnet"

MY Mumsnet.

I don't like the word penis - but thats not because its the proper word, its just a word I don't like the sound of :) So i would call it willy i suppose. I also don't like the word pucker (i think that has something to do with jamie oliver though)

We use correct terms. I also don't talk down to my stepsons which has been funny at times as several family members have voiced the opinion that certain words are too difficult which naturally leads to a small child defining the word context and explaining why it is a useful word for adults to ask children what they're talking about.

I think my MILs issue is that the boys can sound a little precocious but "baa-lamb" just makes my teeth itch and given that DS1 is dyspraxic his large vocabulary has been really useful in him articulating his feelings and difficulties with his SN.

Oh God, can you imagine a toddler asking for a feed by saying "Mummy I want a breast, I want a BREAST!"

Of course not Laurie a dingle dangly is clearly a name for a penis.

I think anything ambiguous is bad.

I particularly dislike 'front bottom' how would a police officer have to establish with your child which bit was its 'front bottom' and which was its 'back'

It just means a possibly awkward and stressful conversation at a time when extra stress really isn't needed.

It's not a vagina though, a vagina is a very specific bit of a fanny

Oh God, can you imagine a toddler asking for a feed by saying "Mummy I want a breast, I want a BREAST!"

Mine ask for mummy milk!

Thats worse!

Wtf is wrong with 'mummy milk'?

We use willy. But recently my son has had a problem with his "tentacles".

Lady's bits were a "mary" in my paternal family, which even as kids we thought was odd. My problem is, my son wants to know what girls pee out of if they don't have a willy, and the answer is NOT "vagina"! "Girl's have a urethra, the same as boys, but no willy."

Eugh at mummy milk.
Yes it is a penis and a vulva here.

MrsRajesh that puts a whole new spin on 'Wind the Bobbin Up' or for health and safety reasons, do they not sing that at his nursery?

YES!!! My DSD's call their Vagina their "bits" which I think is bloody horrid.

They also call a fart a "pump" as fart is rude apparently

Thanks, my Mumsnet

I honestly hadn't given it much thought in relation to DS, and would have used pipi/penis interchangeably until he was old enough for it to seem important that he knew the proper terms (though I haven't seen a childish word for vulva/vagina that doesn't make me cringe). I quite like "bagina", mind...

Dd calls her vulva a vulva rather than vagina, as that's what it is. She knows that Mooncups go inside a women's vagina.

I taught them both penis, though also use willy as that's what they'll hear others call it.

I Like 'Tiddler' after all they tiddle out of it

Whats right with Mummy milk?

Come back 'penis' and 'vagina' all is forgiven!

Penis and vulva here too. I do not understand the embarrassment/coyness attached too these terms.

I also am involved in child protection. The advice is to use the correct terms. Then if your dc suddenly starts using twinkle/foof/winkle etc then alarm bells should be ringing as to where they have learnt those terms. Abusers do not use the anatomically correct terms.

Proper words all the time or attempts at the proper words and god help any person who try's to correct that with silly nonsense words.

Agh. I am guilty. I use pee-pee. I can't use penis, I don't know why.

I suppose if you are going to teach DC to defecate (not poo), urinate (not wee) (and perhaps even masticate, not chew), and that they have an anal sphincter, not a bottom, there is a logic to proper names only.

Real use of language is much more flexible than that, and even very small children can understand synonymous terms.

Oh come on, we all know a boy has a nonnie and a girls is a tinkle.
That's what my dc call/ed them.

It's about ambiguity, not being 'proper'

Child safety is important.

But Gin, surely they are likely to pick up that language from peers, and once they have, how can it ring alarm bells? Or am I missing something?

Actually your anal sphincter is not your bottom. It's your arse hole bottom is the bit you sit on