So upset. DP and best friend have been having a little "chat" about me.

[Babybunny88]

Before my friend "A" and I met she had been friends with my DP for years. DP and I were both mutual friends with A. That is how we met, she thought we would be a good match and introduced us 7 years ago. Fantastic.

Obviously because they have been friends for so long they occasionally text which doesn't bother me in the slightest, I know they don't have any romantically inclined feelings for each other. He has often said she is like a sister to him.

Anyway, I was playing a game on DPs iPhone while he pops round to his dbs house and a message from A popped up. I accidentally pressed it (really was an accident, as I was playing the game and hit the notice), and saw my name mentioned in the text so couldn't help reading it.

It said " Lol! do you want me talk to babybunny about it? Ill make her promise not to say anything to you about it."

Anybody seeing that message would feel inclined to read previous messages, wouldn't they? So I scrolled up and saw that supposed best friend and "d"p were talking about how much weight ive apparently gained. This is word for word how the text convo went:

A: hey, thanks for coming over last night. DH and I enjoyed seeing you both and your DD has got so big!! (We went to theirs for dinner last night)

DP: babybunny and I had a nice night as well. You cook a mean curry!

A: haha I know everybody loves my curries! Maybe though a salad would have been more healthier lol!!

DP: Ahh but who wants a salad on a Saturday night? Curry goes better with Beer! Babybunny doesn't like salads anyway.

A: yes I know... Maybe we should try to get her to like them though..before she puts on any more weight...lol...

DP: yeah maybe. ( I suspect DP didn't know what to say at this point)

A: you know I love her like crazy, but she seems to have put on a bit of weight.. Not good for her health!!

DP: Yea its been since DD was born. Do you have any suggestions? I've noticed this too but for obvious reasons can't say anything.

A: tell her to put down the pies lol!! Just joking! Talk to her about it if it were me I would like DH to tell me!

DP: are you joking? She will go apeshit. Definitely not guareenteed to put down the pies then!

A: Lol! do you want me to talk to babybunny about it? Ill make her promise not to say anything to you about it.

I am sitting here half devastated half furious! I can't believe the two of them have discussed this! Ok fair enough it wasn't for my eyes and they are probably worrying about my health but I am so upset and don't know what to say to DP when he gets back. Do i say anything to A? i already have self esteem issues and this has made me feel total and utter shit.i didn't think I was that fat. And they are both wrong, I do infact like salads!

Help? :(

[Writerwannabe83]

Great plan!!

[AlexReidsLonelyBraincell]

Oh BabyBunny I bet you're bloody lovely.
They are responsible for their pathetic actions. Don't let that bitch knock you down.

[KookyKitty]

A is a bitch, totally agree with the other posters about her enjoying having a feeling of control over your DP.

People do put on weight when they've had kids, so it's not concern, it's her getting a kick from bitching behind your back and getting your DP to agree and join in.

Will you confront her or your DP? If you asked him to cut her out your lives do you think he would? Is there any way you can phase her out and start to avoid her?

[MortifiedAdams]

Good plan.

[AgentZigzag]

Good luck Babybun, try to keep calm.

[CatsWearingTutus]

If you cut her out you'll be worried about her interacting with DP behind your back, though. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. She is definitely the latter but not sure the best strategy for dealing with it.

[DesperatelySeekingSedatives]

Can I ask, is your DP exactly the same man you met? I mean, same size/shape/hairline? only because not only have I changed a fair bit in the years we've been together but my DP has too. I doubt your DP is exactly the same as he was when you first met him through cunt face friend A

[DesperatelySeekingSedatives]

Go Babybunny88 hope you get the response from your DP you deserve! HINT: a massive apology and a promise to tell bitchface to fuck the fuck off to fuckdom.

[BeanandGone]

I am gobsmacked that anyone would even register something as banal as someone's weight gain or loss or whatever at a social get together with friends. It's fucking weird.

Unless you really a size 32 OP? or did you have eight helpings of curry then start on the table legs??

Lol-ing about pies? Size 14? WTAF? This women is actually pathetic human being. I wouldn't even call her a bitch.....she needs to get a life.

Your DP needs to get a spine.

That's all.

[BeanandGone]

Go babybunny sounds like a great response.

[thebody]

she's vile, absolutely vile and probably jealous of you.

'everyone likes my curries' comment as well the bitch!

I hope your dh realises how inappropriate his behaviour was too but she clearly started it and I think he was caught up in the 'jokey conversation' I hope he's horrified when he realises how hurtful it all is for you.

I don't think this ' she's like a sister to me' crap is healthy either. she's not his sister is she!

I see trouble ahead op with her in the poor me martyr mode when you take her to task/ stop seeing her.

good luck op.

[ChasedByBees]

A is an absolute cow and definitely not your friend.

I think your DP is concerned but was also being disloyal. I get the sense he felt awkward, but she was goading him rather than being concerned and he should have recognised that.

I don't think this:

DP: are you joking? She will go apeshit. Definitely not guareenteed to put down the pies then!

Is as bad as some people here are suggesting. I think he was just mirroring the inappropriate 'pies' comment that she made and saying that wouldn't be the way to tackle it.

Frankly though, size 10 to size 14 post baby is not much to tackle.

She's jealous of you or has some reason for wanting to make you feel insecure in your relationship. Be very wary of her.

[SomewhereBeyondTheSea]

Is the Wendy alert siren going off, do we think?

[QueenofallIsee]

I would be wearing his balls as jewellery and making sure that Lady Bitch Face suffered one way or another. Fucking Bitch.

[AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat]

A is an ignorant cow and no true friend of yours.

Your DP may have been put in an awkward position, but he should've stuck up for you or said this isn't an appropriate conversation to have behind your back.

What a complete bitch.

I'd cut her out if she's going to be so bloody rude.

[dreamingbohemian]

Good luck OP. I'm so sorry, I hope your DP feels as rotten as he should about this.

[Lizzylou]

A is a nasty bitch, she really is.
Hope you make your DP squirm, it did look like he was somewhat cornered by the smug vileness of A.

[MissStrawberry]

A is not a friend.

DP is a weak man if he didn't feel able to stand up for the mother of his child and tell this woman where to fuck off.

If, IF, you want to lose weight for yourself join us on the 5:2 thread.

[grobagsforever]

Yeah I'd be tempted to text her from DOs phone too. What a cowbag.

[serengetty]

Does A have a partner? She's a Grade A knobjockey, that's for sure.

[SauvignonBlanche]

I think that's a good plan OP, I hope it goes OK.

[MissStrawberry]

A appears to feel she has some control over you too as she has said she will get you not to say anything to your partner.

[AllThatGlistens]

Utter bitch! Read your DP the riot act and stay well clear of her, the vile cow is no friend

Hope you're ok

[KatieScarlett2833]

And please remember to remind the pathetic childish arse you are married to that the reason to have gained weight is because you gave birth to HIS child.
Then order a curry from the takeaway.

[missinglalaland]

A isn't a nice person. She is not your friend.

She led your dp down the garden path. He sounds a bit uncomfortable/awkward. In this case, I wouldn't lay too much of the blame on him. But I think you would be justified, in not being comfortable with their relationship. I don't think she wants an affair with your dp, ut she does get her kicks out of undermining you!