To not want any more house guests, ever.

[carlywurly]

That really. We are lucky to live in a popular holiday area, not far from the beach. As property is great value, we've got a bigger house than where we lived before. Every school holiday I'm inundated by requests to visit from family, friends and former colleagues and have always said yes to everyone to the extent that we had people staying for 10 weeks of last year.

This year I've just had enough. The constant mess, noise and expense has left me knackered. People turn up with a bottle of wine and expect full board for a week. They head off home leaving the house full of sand and endless loads of washing behind them. The "we'll just use you as a base" crowd drive me mad as do the ones who expect every day to be planned out for them. And don't get Me started on the ones who don't contact us at any other time except the run up to summer.

I love seeing people but can't do this anymore. I've had 3 requests for oct half term. Aibu just to say no? What do others do? Sorry for ranting, am cranky and tired

Because they are too generous and kind hearted for their own good? Because family, friends and even strangers take advantage, and then make the person feel bad for not saying yes? Because some people won't take no for an answer?

It is a form of emotional blackmail, 'if you say no we won't like you any more' but everyone has their limits and now the OP has finally reached hers. She just wanted to have it confirmed that she was justified in feeling the way she is about the situation.

I live in a popular tourist city.

I could tell a few tales like ones already posted but the one that took the biscuit was a couple who asked us to move out of our bedroom so they could have the bigger en-suite which as guests they felt they should have been offered

I'm not usually lost for words but that request left me speechless! Fortunately DH was not similarly affected!

Yes, all of that girly totally agree. I understand how you can get into something that it's difficult to extricate yourself from.

We used to have a caravan on a site and we lent it to a couple with kids one year. From then on every summer they asked which was 'their' fortnight. Before they used it, I used to go down literally on the spur of the moment if the weather was good, but now couldn't because they would be there. They always ended up down there when the weather was glorious and I ended up down there in the summer holidays when it was shit. They never left it clean either and used all the staples and never replaced anything. I learnt from that experience. It was years ago (I'm older and wiser now!) but I just would now speak out and say NO. I realised then that acquaintances and random people can and do take advantage. I always am there to help others but never to have the piss taken out of me.

I enjoy occasional guests in terms of having people for lunch or dinner. I very rarely have people to stay because our house is tiny. I did get into a bit of an ongoing pisstake situation with a relative once though. I have since learned to be assertive and funnily enough he doesn't ask to stay anymore. It amazes me how thick skinned some people can be!!

I have a friend at work who has ended up hosting several family members for her entire summer break. She's now fed up and exhausted, not surprisingly!

I expect it won't be long before people will be having the same complaints about their Christmas guests!

You sound a saintess to put up with this! Next year, go away somewhere.
Or ask to stay with them for a week.. I bet it will go quiet for a while.
Or start charging the same rates as b and bs in your area.
No other advice, tough though if its family...

I don't often stay with people but I always bring gifts, cook meals, tidy up after myself and I hope I'm an easy guest (and I only ever stay with good friends or close family).

When people stay with us they invariably take us out for dinner, bring gifts and clean up after themselves, make tea for everyone etc. Considerate.

Recently however DH stayed with his brother, with two days' warning, for one night, and was pretty horrified at their hosting - slept-in sheets, dirty bathroom, and no offer of any breakfast or a hot drink. I think they could have taken a bit of trouble to make him feel welcome. I know it was short notice but it's close family and they only see each other a handful of times each year when work travel permits!

I don't often stay with people but I always bring gifts, cook meals, tidy up after myself and I hope I'm an easy guest (and I only ever stay with good friends or close family).

When people stay with us they invariably take us out for dinner, bring gifts and clean up after themselves, make tea for everyone etc. Considerate.

Recently however DH stayed with his brother, with two days' warning, for one night, and was pretty horrified at their hosting - slept-in sheets, dirty bathroom, and no offer of any breakfast or a hot drink. I think they could have taken a bit of trouble to make him feel welcome. I know it was short notice but it's close family and they only see each other a handful of times each year when work travel permits!

I agree hippo! That's just horrible! If you really can't do it then say no!

This thread scares me....

We have a holiday house on a popular coast and have invited a number of people down, all of whom behaved perfectly. Yes there was extra washing, but guests leave beds stripped and are my friends anyway. They bring copious amounts of food and drink and try to pay for everything when we go out.

Who are these people who demand to come and stay and then treat you like a free hotel??

I always take gifts too, pack dishwasher, tidy up, help out.

I do remember me and DH going to stay with a couple (they asked us up there for the night), and they showed us into a tip of a room, no worries I thought, it's just a bed for the night once I'd moved everything off of it

We went out to the pub and for a meal, the wife had a lot to drink and I am no lightweight and then she turned lairy. DH and I made a quick exit to bed and they spent what seemed like the whole night having a screaming row, door slamming, shouting, swearing. It went on for hours. Next morning we ventured downstairs and it was like nothing had happened.

I grew up in a very popular seaside town and now live in a popular inland destination...

After my mum's experience of hoards of non paying guests which meant loads of work... I had loads of london aunts and uncles, all of whom who booked 'their' week with their nice niece on the coast... We weren't rich..
Oh yes they also expected my dad to use his holiday to act as chauffeur around all the popular tourist sites... Which of course we'd all seen a hundred times before...

One year it stopped... Quite suddenly... Mum announced she had started a b&b and if they wanted their week they would have to pay market rates....

Luckily i live in a one bedroomed place... If people want to stay - it's the front room or nothing...

Why dont people now say to unwanted guests that they are now doing airbnb and they cant stay unless they pay your rate on £100 pn!

Wait for New Year's Day. Write this on Facebook:
News Years Resolution For the carlywurly family:
Whilst we have loved having so many visitors during the last few years (10 weeks of different visitors this year alone) it's been great catching up with you all and we've loved sharing our beautiful home, we have decided that we are going to have all the major holidays (school holidays) on our own this year so that we can enjoy our beautiful home ourselves and spend some, much needed, time together as a family. We don't want to offend anybody by saying 'no' so please don't ask if you can spend your holidays with us.... We have many, many plans of our own :-)

Good luck OP - you 'sound' like a saint! Lol

2rebecca
You asked why I don't ring my DSis. DSis number 1 the one who said keep in touch hasn't rung me since 2007, she has an answer machine, she never answers the phone even if she is in which is hardly ever and if you leave her a message she doesn't ring you back and she doesn't do mobile phones or computers. My other DSis I have given up ringing as if she answers she always says do you need anything urgent as I am waiting for someone else to ring/ going out/got someone there but never says she will ring me back when she is free. She doesn't visit us even though she lives 4 miles away and has a car. I am very happy that no-one wants to come to stay as I have no spare rooms. We haven't had a holiday as we have no money, we have to take DS with SN with us so it is just as easy to stay at home.

1. Work out what weeks of the year you would like house guests.
2. Invite house guests you would like to see for those weeks.
3. When other people call asking to come you say "Oh I am so sorry but we're all booked up this year, we can come to you or wait until next year.

Problem solved.

Update to my update of 4th Aug.
I rang DSis 2 last Saturday as I hadn't spoken to her for 2 weeks, she asked why I was ringing. I said because I wondered how you all were including her DD whose baby is 3 weeks old, she just said fine. Then she said DSis 1 is coming down on the 7th September for a week and what day did my DD have off work, I said I didn't know and then she had to go to hang out her washing, she didn't ask how we were. I just can't be bothered with either of them as I say they don't want to know the rest of the year so why should we disrupt our lives as after all we are not on holiday and have plenty to do every day.