Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want any more house guests, ever.

191 replies

carlywurly · 01/09/2013 15:53

That really. We are lucky to live in a popular holiday area, not far from the beach. As property is great value, we've got a bigger house than where we lived before. Every school holiday I'm inundated by requests to visit from family, friends and former colleagues and have always said yes to everyone to the extent that we had people staying for 10 weeks of last year.

This year I've just had enough. The constant mess, noise and expense has left me knackered. People turn up with a bottle of wine and expect full board for a week. They head off home leaving the house full of sand and endless loads of washing behind them. The "we'll just use you as a base" crowd drive me mad as do the ones who expect every day to be planned out for them. And don't get Me started on the ones who don't contact us at any other time except the run up to summer.

I love seeing people but can't do this anymore. I've had 3 requests for oct half term. Aibu just to say no? What do others do? Sorry for ranting, am cranky and tired Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
carlywurly · 01/09/2013 19:36

I have to say that when we bought this house the self contained room for guests was a great selling point. It wouldn't be a consideration if we moved again. Grin

OP posts:
theboutiquemummy · 01/09/2013 19:42

YANBU
Could have written this my house has been packed to the bloody rafters all summer but I put my foot down for October and Christmas ooh n that quiet time when the kids go back to school .
Its too much and we've been feeding them sometimes 3 courses for 5 days and not so much a bag of shopping or the offer of a meal or would you like me to do the tidying up for you

Stick to your guns !

Bakingnovice · 01/09/2013 19:43

What kind of house is it? I would absolutely hate to stay with friends as a houseguest, in fact it would be my worst nightmare. . And I never ever have house guests myself. Never ever. No way!

mrscog · 01/09/2013 19:53

You poor thing. I think the best idea on here is the 'invite the ones you like specifically then tell any others you're busy'. Then I'd probably muster up the courage to ask guests to provide a meal or two while they're there to help you out.

NorfolkIngWay · 01/09/2013 20:07

I don't get it either ?
Can I come and stay ? NO!
Job done Grin
Loathe having guests so I don't simples
Mind you I hate going away so I don't stay with anyone else .

FondantNancy · 01/09/2013 20:10

Cannot believe the cheek of these people!

We live in a developing country and have also been indundated, but the people who come to stay are backpackery sorts. They have all been fantastic, cooking, cleaning up, entertaining DC, giving us gifts ... I wonder if it comes down to not having much money so really appreciating a free bed?

lisad123everybodydancenow · 01/09/2013 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 01/09/2013 20:12

OP -as you can see from this thread, you are not alone!

We had DH's friend stay over Christmas:

He suggested we gots beers and a takeaway, didn't offer to even pay for his share even though it came to over £100

Didn't tidy up after himself

I cooked dinner nearly every night and he only washed up his dish once and never offered to wash up any other dishes

Bought food for himself and when DH asked him to contribute some of his chicken towards a meal I was preparing DH was told "it was his food"

Drank £300 worth of alcohol in 2 weeks and did not offer to reimburse.

Let me tidy up his alcohol induced mess. (Strawberry syrup from the daiquiri's off my radiator)

Ate all our food and was Shock when DH asked him to pay for a can of coke when DH had forgotten his wallet.

We then had his GF to stay who complained the whole time and left our spare room in a state and left the sheets with some telling stains Hmm

I'm with you, they are not welcome!!

expatinscotland · 01/09/2013 20:13

'No, that doesn't work for us.'

No lies or going away/being run out of your own home.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 01/09/2013 20:14

May I just add that the food he bought was for additional meals during the day I was still expected to prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner....

expatinscotland · 01/09/2013 20:15

And stop running round after these pest guests and paying for them. Yes, even whilst you are there!

Princess, I would have told him he needed to stump up or find another place to stay - that night, because we aren't running a hotel.

inkyfingers · 01/09/2013 20:16

Do none of them offer a return visit to their apartment in Kensington/time share in Cuba? That would be something!

expatinscotland · 01/09/2013 20:17

'May I just add that the food he bought was for additional meals during the day I was still expected to prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner....'

That is because you did.

'Our finances don't stretch to free board. I'm afraid you'll need to make your own way where meals are concerned.'

If he raided your cupboards and stuff, 'I need £50 to cover XYZ today or you'll need to find another place to stay from tonight. We can't afford this.'

PrincessFlirtyPants · 01/09/2013 20:19

Well, expat I think it was very clear by the end of it that I was not happy at all. He didn't ask to stay at Easter or Summer and he always does. DH said he would tell him no if he asked, for the sake of their friendship. We were both so Angry by the end of it!

PrincessFlirtyPants · 01/09/2013 20:21

expat he is a student and knows that DH and I earn v.good money so the 'we can't afford it' line wouldn't have worked.

I'm just doing the, "Sorry, no. Last time wasn't a great experience for us."

PoisonedApple · 01/09/2013 20:22

I had a lot who arrived when our DD2 was 3 weeks old. They ate all the food I had pre-prepared and frozen, stayed for 7 days instead of 2 nights (they decided to continue using us as a base instead of moving on to stay with other friends) and during the whole time they were here bought only one bag of white sugar as they didn't like brown sugar in their tea...

MousyMouse · 01/09/2013 20:22

I love your school of no-nonsense expat

Portofino · 01/09/2013 20:31

I am shocked at some people! I am reminded of the useful MN phrase "No is a complete sentence" when we first moved to Brussels we had a lot of visitors - but they always brought a food parcel, paid a for a takeaway, chipped in for wine. We get fewer now the novelty has worn off, but anyone taking the piss would be told clearly, or never allowed back...

expatinscotland · 01/09/2013 20:37

'I did get better at saying no but some people just don't take no for an answer '

Then don't let them in. 'I told you no, that doesn't work for me. I meant it. You need to find somewhere else to stay.'

'That's okay if you're not there.' 'I don't find it okay and it's my home. You will need to find another place to stay.'

expatinscotland · 01/09/2013 20:42

I just don't get it. No is a complete sentence. Why should you feel compelled to lie about your own home and plans? WTF? No, that doesn't suit us. You need to find another place to stay.

People eating all your food and stuff? Why sit there and let them do it? 'For a quiet life'? 'You need to provide your own food or I need £100. I'll wait here whilst you visit the cash point for an hour. If you're not back in an hour, I'm going to assume you've found another place to stay. Your bags will be out the front door.'

sandiy · 01/09/2013 21:09

How about Everytime someone asks say I'm terribly sorry but,we are no longer having guests at all Unfortunatly last season we had some very inconsiderate guests who ate all our food drank all our wine a made a shocking mess.Because of that we have decided never again as a blanket policy no exceptions.Hopefully that will shame the freeloaders and you can have a select few on your terms.anyone thick skinned enough to persevere deserves the ear bashing that follows.Offer to send out leaflets for local guest houses etc,Whilst encouraging them to book early as your town is soo very popular.Don t forget to mention the cheeky wot sits who turned up unannounced that you turned away.I hate freeloaders especially lazy entitled ones Can you tell.

Ledkr · 01/09/2013 21:09

baking I thought I was the only one.
I bloody hate staying at people's houses and people staying at mine too!
Not even keen on my children living here to be honest Grin

ImperialBlether · 01/09/2013 21:17

It's hard to believe some people are so awful! The thing is, though, if you don't live near them, why don't you just say you have friends staying then? It's not like they can check up on you, is it?

Better still would be to say you can't afford, because last time you had to spend hundreds of pounds on their food and drink and that you were still cleaning the house three days after they left.

NorfolkIngWay · 01/09/2013 21:19

£300 worth of alcohol
Shock
Do people keep £300 worth of alcohol at home - seriously ?!

Lilacroses · 01/09/2013 21:21

Blimey, you have been a saint. We have only had one awful guest who came regularly for a few years. His lack of consideration became intolerable so last time we were pretty blunt and practically threw him out. I absolutely cannot bear houseguests beside my parents and best friend. I actually just say no now. Luckily we have a very small house.

Must say some of these stories are shocking! We thought our guest was a pita!