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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I love my children too much to work full time..

402 replies

LostMarbles99 · 31/08/2013 20:31

AIBU to be royally pissed off at the person who said this to me today?

Am just back at work 2 weeks after birth of first baby who is now 7 months. 'Friend' was adamant that I must regret it and then proceeded to say that she loves her children too much to be working full time.

Yeah because I hate my child and can't wait to get away from him Hmm

I'm working full time as I'm the main earner and we need the money.

Why are people so insensitive?

What do you say?

OP posts:
Chiggers · 31/08/2013 21:41

Meh, let it wash over you OP. Not worth fretting over, after all, I'm sure you have more important things to fret about. You could rattle out the old MN phrase "Did you mean to come across as an idiot"???

ElBombero · 31/08/2013 21:42

Fucking hate these self righteous know it alls. I would tell her your offended

MadameJosephine · 31/08/2013 21:45

I'm going back to work on Monday, DD is 9 months. I am not looking forward to leaving her but I have bills to pay and if anybody said that to me they would be very likely to get a smack in the chops!

NorfolkIngWay · 31/08/2013 21:48

Do all the fathers of these children hate their DC then ?
Its just a way of justifying their life OP .
If you enjoy SAH say so -don't make negative comments about others it makes you look like a wankbadger

snakeinthebrantub · 31/08/2013 22:00

I know exactly what you mean, I have been back at work for 2 weeks as well, also full time, and the amount of people who have been shocked that I'm back full time, along with the 'you must really miss him' comments. Not helpful at all.

TheFallenMadonna · 31/08/2013 22:03

You have to laugh at them. Honest to God, but some people are just stupid.

Sahmof3 · 31/08/2013 22:03

The woman is obviously an idiot and idiots are not worth responding to...just stay away from her. Whatever you do, you can't win. I've had loads of bitchy comments at school from mums who work about the fact that I'm a sahm.

Tinlegs · 31/08/2013 22:03

I love my children so much I want to set them a good example by working hard to provide for my family. Bitch!

AFishWithoutABicycle · 31/08/2013 22:06

What she said -'I love my children too much to work full time'

What she meant -'I have no self esteem and need to validate myself by being a sanctimonious bitch'

miffybun73 · 31/08/2013 22:07

YANBU, you should just pity her for being so stupid and insensitive.

BasilBabyEater · 31/08/2013 22:07

I think a good response would be "oh, I obviously don't love my children as much as you do your's. Your kids are so lucky to have a mother who loves them so much, would you like to adopt mine? Because I just don't love them that much and you're obviously better at loving children than I am".

And be really dead pan.

50shadesofmeh · 31/08/2013 22:09

What an arsehole, I'm back to work next month full time with a 5 month old and it breaks my heart, if anyone sad that to me I'd be furious .

williaminajetfighter · 31/08/2013 22:09

Urgh I can actually picture what that woman looks like. Probably has a Cath Kidston oilcloth table cover.

Just tell her you hate your child and was desperate to get back to work. Nuff said...

BigW · 31/08/2013 22:09

Just popping back to say it reminds me of a conversation I once had with a friend about school choices. She is choosing to have her children privately educated. We don't have that choice so are moving areas to be nearer some good schools.

'Ahh, yes well you see, education is very important to DH and me'

Like I don't care about education because we are not sending DS to private school. Angry

cantsleep · 31/08/2013 22:13

YANBU

Whoever said that is a complete twat. I am a sahm but only because I have no choice. If dcs were all well I would get a job. All my friends work and I really admire them and what they do for their families.

I have to admit I'm also a little jealous as would love a few hours away from what I have to do every day at home.

If I were you I would just ignore the person who said it as they sound rude and stupid.

baddriver · 31/08/2013 22:13

Then I guess I love my children a medium amount as I work part time. Thank goodness for these walking barometers eh

SPBisResisting · 31/08/2013 22:15

'Ahh, yes well you see, education is very important to DH and me

What on earth was your response

Trills · 31/08/2013 22:16

Do you normally think this little before you open your mouth?

Trills · 31/08/2013 22:16

If you always speak without thinking like that I'm not surprised that you don't have a job.

trixymalixy · 31/08/2013 22:16

I think I'd have two choice words to say to that person.

Trills · 31/08/2013 22:18

I'm secure enough in my choices that I don't feel the need to put down people who chose differently to me

Original poster
LostMarbles99 · 31/08/2013 22:21

I'm laughing because this women does have a cath kidston oil cloth!!

How did you know that?!!

OP posts:
JoinYourPlayfellows · 31/08/2013 22:21

I love my children too much to inflict myself on them full time.

If it wasn't for the influence of their CM I would be worried about how they were going to turn out. :o

Honestly, I think this is one of those comments that is just an expression of one person's feelings and not a moral judgment.

I think plenty of women do feel they love their kids too much to go back to work full time and miss out on looking after them all day long.

It's not something I feel, and I'm sure I love my children as much as anyone. But my love works differently, I suppose. I don't feel any need to be there for everything.

BigW · 31/08/2013 22:21

I am embarrassed to say that I didn't really say anything - just went away feeling upset and a bit like I was letting DS down. Sad

It was only afterwards that I started to feel angry. She's an old school friend, so I tend to give her the benefit of the doubt even when she probably doesn't deserve it.

yellowballoons · 31/08/2013 22:25

How long has she been your "friend" for?