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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I love my children too much to work full time..

402 replies

LostMarbles99 · 31/08/2013 20:31

AIBU to be royally pissed off at the person who said this to me today?

Am just back at work 2 weeks after birth of first baby who is now 7 months. 'Friend' was adamant that I must regret it and then proceeded to say that she loves her children too much to be working full time.

Yeah because I hate my child and can't wait to get away from him Hmm

I'm working full time as I'm the main earner and we need the money.

Why are people so insensitive?

What do you say?

OP posts:
Delayingtactic · 31/08/2013 20:39

Agh OP I came here all ready to let rip and now you've ruined it .

But fuck off would be my response.

Yonionekanobe · 31/08/2013 20:40

Whoa! Got my blood pressure going there OP!! Wink

Anyone who said that to me would be out of my life for good.

Does the father if her children work? I assume if he does he hates them...

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 31/08/2013 20:40

"Oh well....when he's hungry I'll just give him a lovely cuddle. That overrides all physical necessities anyway."

NOT! What a silly cow she must be.

needaholidaynow · 31/08/2013 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Finola1step · 31/08/2013 20:44

Good grief. That's all I can say on the matter.

KingRollo · 31/08/2013 20:45

This reply has been deleted

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Finola1step · 31/08/2013 20:45

No. Thought of another. She's no friend!

christinarossetti · 31/08/2013 20:46

Sounds like a 'spoiling' type of comment to me ie she's jealous, envious of you in some way and wants to spoil your decision/ situation.

Rise above it.

MutantAndProud · 31/08/2013 20:47

Yep, it would be a fuck off from me too.

MIL tried to shame me once about working full time. She said 'minimutantDD is doing really well considering you work full time'. My MIL is a cunt.

Lonecatwithkitten · 31/08/2013 20:47

My response would have been 'I love my baby to much to make her stay home with a sad depressed Mummy'. I love DD, but I hated maternity leave and was horribly lonely and sad. 9 years later I know my relationship with DD is so much healthier than if I had stayed home.
As a plus it was a really good thing I went back as ExH left us and fortunately I have good career to support us.

BigW · 31/08/2013 20:49

I love my DS too much to work full time too. Unfortunately I live in the real world where I have to earn money to, you know, buy food and stuff. Bitch.

valiumredhead · 31/08/2013 20:49

It's the flip side of the comments I get for NOT working outside the home.

Myob works well for both situationsWink

mashpot · 31/08/2013 20:50

Oh I couldn't wait to tell you to Fuck Off, pass it on to your friend please. But, you only say that sort of thing when you're insecure about your own situation/choices so I thnk your friend has some issues of her own - not that that's an excuse

everlong · 31/08/2013 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TempusFuckit · 31/08/2013 20:52

Well if it makes you feel better, I went back two weeks ago after 9 months off, and my colleagues were giving me catsbum mouths for leaving on time from day one. You can never win.

I'm with you on the evenings (and the mornings, urgh). I'm fucking knackered.

TiredFeet · 31/08/2013 20:52

You just have to stay strong, it sounds like you have to go back to work, and so it is an incredible act of love to go back and provide for your family. I know how much it tore me apart to leave my son at 7.5 months so I feel for you.

Do try and find a balance in your life though, it is so so tough, I know that feeling of wanting to make the most of every precious minute you have with your child. Make sure your OH pulls their weight in terms of house work, get a cleaner if you can (we just have one fortnightly, but it helps) and lower your standards - simple quick healthy meals and learn to ignore if the house is a bit chaotic.

KingRollo · 31/08/2013 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coco27 · 31/08/2013 20:55

It is just being plain nasty do not dignify it with a response.

MrsDeVere · 31/08/2013 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyMummyOfOne · 31/08/2013 20:57

I'd have responsed with either "your husband works full time, does he not love your child then" or "i love my child so work to feed and clothe them and i love my DH too much to expect him to have to work to support us all as im too lazy too". Easy to think of replies after though.

CorrinaKedavra · 31/08/2013 20:58

What a dickhead.

I'm a former teacher and have been told I am wasting my Teacher Training (I'm not - I took a degree which I will have to pay for) from colleagues and that I should be working because I had a vocation and was very good for their children by parents I see from time to time.

The fact that both of mine are disabled escapes them.

I was back at work and straight into an OFSTED when DD was a couple of months old because my twat of an XH refused to work. I got criticised for that, too!

Can't win.

CorrinaKedavra · 31/08/2013 20:58

Oh Christ MrsDeVere, what a fucking idiot that person was Angry

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 31/08/2013 21:01

Oh :( That's a horrible, horrible thing to say to anyone, but really unforgiveable to say to someone who has only just returned to work and left a baby to do so - it's not an easy thing to do for most women and the last thing you need is shite like that. Cow.

(Lecce - did you know you can strike though whole sentences these days! Just use the without spaces at each end :) Got to love Tech!)

(Staying off topic MrsDV - how much money would you need? Can't we fundraise for him????)

searching4serenity · 31/08/2013 21:01

Mrs DeVere - that's terrible, I'm so sorry, please don't focus on that if possible. What an utter bitch

OP-same - what a bitch. Is she the self-obsessed type, and / or completely stupid?

CatAmongThePigeons · 31/08/2013 21:01

She probably is hating being a SAHM and is trying to make herself feel better, or she's a cunt.

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