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AIBU to give up breastfeeding?
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MisselthwaiteManor · 21/08/2013 16:24

I've just about had enough.

Baby has a lip tie which GP says no one in the country will cut. She was cupfed from birth against my will and has never been able to latch properly. I have been expressing every single feed for two months (she's now 10 weeks old). My milk supply in one boob dried up so its one boob getting pumped every time, my god the pain.

My milk supply has now more than halved, I don't know if it's due to the fact I'm on my period. For the past week I've been expressing every half hour to get enough for the baby, it's still not been enough and we've been giving the odd carton of formula.

I've just had e-fucking-nough of getting up every hour in the night and all day to wash the fucking pump and express again. Every feed is a nightmare because if there isn't a bottle waiting in the fridge she has to wait and she obviously gets distressed. DH gets no sleep either because he feeds her while I express the next bottle to try and stay ahead.

I would be onto formula like a shot if it wasn't for the amount of shit I am getting from every angle. The midwife drummed it into me all through my pregnancy how the baby will be full of disease if I use formula. The GP has said under no circumstance switch to formula because the baby has bad reflux and apparently it'll make it worse. Home start have been badgering me twice a week for weeks asking if I'm breastfeeding properly yet. I told them I don't need their help anymore (they tried and couldn't get her to latch either) but they will not go away. The health visitor is the same, phonecalls all the time asking if I'm doing it right yet.

AIBU to tell them all to fuck right off and give my baby formula? She's upset with the situation so I can't see a benefit to breastmilk for us anymore but I feel like the worst mother in the world.

I have PND which is clouding my head and my judgement so please tell me what you would do.

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Maggietess · 23/08/2013 01:03

I can believe the attitude you are getting re breastfeeding as I had it too. Having lost so much blood I went from hgb 12.5 to 8.5 after delivery I was then put under huge pressure to bf. Having (as we discovered subsequently) also broken my coxyx during delivery and unable to move without excruciating pain I tried and tried to bf.. It was only when my father arrived to visit and was so distressed at how pale I was they called a doctor and checked my bloods. I was never well enough to have been able to produce milk yet I was bullied into 3 days of hell as i tried feeding and "failed"... Until a kind midwife said lets try a bottle, best for baby to be free of hunger and mum to be mentally and physically well.

Best advice I ever had. Bottle feeding can be incredibly important esp if your dc won't take breast. Those dcs are no worse off than every other child with a well and caring mum (despite what some of the judgemental * at my local NCT" support group said.... But then they were more interested in designs for hemp nappies than real world issues ime... They actually tutted when I got out a bottle one week).... Good luck op, thr future is amazingly bright in every kind of feeding world,!

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Maggietess · 23/08/2013 01:06

Ps we are also 3 for 3 on reflux babies and all for very well on varying medication from gaviscon to ranitidine to losec to enfamil formula. Do whatever is best for you and your baby.

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