Re FIL sharing a bed with my DC?

[LoppLopp]

I'm a regular NC for confidentiality.

Here is a bit of background so as not to drip feed:
My PIL are lovely people. I have known them for many years and am as sure as a person can be that they love my DC and would not intentionally harm them. They have just had my DC to stay for the weekend, to share some happy times and give me and DH some time alone which we rarely get and really appreciate. They have fed them, played with them, even washed their clothes. The boys have returned happy and safe.

During their stay, it turns out that DS2 (5) slept the whole time in FIL's bed - i.e. they put him to bed there and when FIL went to bed he stayed all night. DS3 (3) slept on the floor in the same room. DS1 (8) slept in another room in a double bed alone, with a spare bed in the same room - so there would have been plenty of space for his brothers to share with him.

I feel slightly uncomfortable about this. It just doesn't feel right. I wouldn't have wanted to share a bed with my grandfather, and I wouldn't want my own father (or mother) to share a bed with my DC either. AIBU to feel this way? WWYD about saying something?

I also have another concern. They all went out today to a farm park type place. Whilst they were there, MIL let all three of them go into the Men's toilets alone, without an adult. When they were in there on their own DS3 needed a poo, so DS1 left his brothers in there to go and tell MIL that he needed a bottom wipe.

I don't feel that a 3 and 5 y.o. are old enough to go alone yet. Apart from the obvious that DS3 can't wipe his own bottom yet, I'm not convinced public urinals are clean or that they'll wash their hands, and in the unlikely event that they met a 'nasty man' or even an older boy who was mean to them, they wouldn't know what to do. It just seems a bit short sighted of MIL to let them do this.

I really need to know if others would feel the same way I do, in which case I need to think very carefully about how to talk to my PIL about this without offending them.

I used to share with my gran when I was little. It was a treat and my granda would bring us a cup of tea in the mornings. I also always always slept with my mum when my dad worked the foreshift. Again, it was a treat for me and from what I recall of my friends/cousins the norm in the mining families.

I used to share with my Nana when we went to stay with them for our annual two week visit. They lived miles away but I felt I knew them really well. Nana was quite overweight and snored so I didn't actually enjoy the experience! I would never have shared with Granddad, but he was poorly, and not that sort of cuddly person, either.

I would have had no issues with my DSs sharing with my dad, but while we all piled in bed with mum and dad on a Sunday morning, he wouldn't have thought it 'appropriate' to share all night.

But families are all different and have different traditions. I live 50 miles from my home town so my DC didn't see their grandparents often enough for that kind of close, cuddly relationship to develop.

Exoticfruits - my point exactly - this can only be based on everyone's individual experience. My parents and my inlaws aren't bed sharer types and it would therefore be odd for my children to share with them.

I was making the point that it isn't a case of either being a bed sharer or a paedophile, more that you can dislike sharing a bed without there being anything suspicious about it.

Some of my fondest memories of staying with my grandma was being allowed to share her bed. She had 2 perfectly decent beds in her spare room but we loved bring able to climb in with her.

It was a novelty and fun.

Good post at 10:49, Kristina.