AIBU to be shocked at friends confession

[Kirk1]

We were out at the pub, and she told us that she lost her virginity at age 13! I made a face (my DD is 13) and she made like it was no big deal but I'm really shocked.

I had a sheltered childhood - don't know anyone in my peer group who had sex at 14. Although came across some professionally in my 20s. I think it is a safeguarding issue. Some of my daughters friend's mums were ok with them having sex at 13, I was shocked. One of their daughters was pregnant at 16 and dropped out of school, the other girl off the rails big time. My dd had an older bf between the ages of 13 to 18 and I didn't approve, thought he was grooming her, tried my best to keep her safe, certainly didn't condone them having sex at 13 or give them opportunity...

"having sex early didn't turn me into a sex crazed nutcase!"
Really, that's not why the majority of us think it's wrong. It's fine to be a sex crazed nutcase. It's fine for women to enjoy sex, have lots of sex, have lots of different partners. I'd say the same for men but that tends to go without saying . Sex is not a bad thing. But I do not think children should be having sex, as a rule. Obviously there are times where children have sex with other children and they enjoy it, and it is fine. But on the whole, 13 year olds having sex is a bad thing.

I was 27. Seriously! Talk about a late starter...

Looking back my early experiences of sleeping with boys/men were all very disappointing.

I think there is a natural tendency to try and shield children from unnecessary disappointments.

It's possible that despite the fact shyness, awkward, embarrassment will kick in at any stage - and particularly so when a person is inexperienced - that a more mature young women will be better equipped to start negotiating the emotional, practical and physical intricacies of sex.

(This isn't to say that there aren't some young women who mature quite early. But I think the age of consent is a useful marker.)

And how 'ready' would you have felt if, due to contraception failure you ended up with an unwanted pregnancy? How would you have dealt with pregnancy and childbirth? Or abortion? Or adoption? The loss of education that would result while any of the above were happening? How would you have dealt with being infected with an STD? AIDs? Or becoming infertile due to infection? Or being raped (most rape being perpetrated by friends, family, and partners let's not forget)? Or abuse from your partner (teenagers are shockingly likely to accept abuse in a relationship as 'normal')?

This is what I think we need to protect children from, not lovely, happy sex. And while most sex is lovely and happy there are negative consequences that a child is incapable of understanding or dealing with maturely. Hell, an adult woman would struggle to deal with half of that.

An adult who knowingly and willingly puts their children in the path of these consequences is an adult letting the child down.