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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ban him from my home

226 replies

fredas · 09/08/2013 09:11

I've name changed because I know some people on here in real life.

My 19 year old brother has been staying with me, these last few days and we were having a really good time until this morning. I was running a bit late and so I hadn?t got DPs breakfast ready for when he had got out of the shower. So when he came down how asked where his breakfast was, my brother seemed to flip and said why don?t you get yourself you lazy prick, what do you think she is your personal maid.

He then began berating him because I?m currently unemployed so if we need anything I ask DP for the money so I can go and buy it (money is tight) before ranting about how DP is going golfing in Portugal next week because we are not having a holiday together this year.

I'm really shocked at the way he spoke to him. He was being so accusatory and you could hear the hostility in his voice, so I have asked him to leave (he was due to go on Sunday). DP has gone to work but he made no attempt to apoligise to him or me and just insisted that something needed to be said. I really feel like banning him from ever coming back for being so rude, disrespectful and abusive to DP.

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 09/08/2013 09:12

I'm not sure he was wrong. Why do you make your DP's breakfast? Just because you don't work?

And why do you have to ask for money? You should have a joint account to share all money, no matter who makes it.

Sounds like a case of 'the truth hurts'.

Chopchopbusybusy · 09/08/2013 09:14

I think your brother has a point. Money really can't be that tight if your DP can afford a golfing holiday in Portugal.

ClassyAsALannister · 09/08/2013 09:14

Oh, to be honest, I think your brother had a point. I'm sure he loves and cares about you and I'd feel just as tempted to say something if a simular thing was happening to my sister...

Why do you make DP's breakfast?

QuintessentiallyOhDear · 09/08/2013 09:15

Personally I would hug your brother for having courage to stand up for his sister. Is your husband usually an entitled shit or was this a one off?

Onetwothreeoops · 09/08/2013 09:15

If I saw my sister in the relationship you have described I think I could only keep quiet for so long before blowing my top as well!

onetiredmummy · 09/08/2013 09:15

I'm with your brother!

Do you feel equal in your relationship with your dp?!

overmydeadbody · 09/08/2013 09:15

Is this a joke?

Of course your DB was right, I am shocked that you make your DP's breakfast and more shocked that he asks where he breakfast is if it's not on the table.

Surely no man actually does that?!?!?

It's your DP who sounds disrespectful and abusinve, to you.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 09/08/2013 09:16

You do his breakfast.
He's golfing in Portugal and you're not having a holiday despite money being tight.
You have to ask him for money when you need something.

Your brother sounds like he's on the money to be honest.

moomoo1967 · 09/08/2013 09:16

Your brother was only acting in your defence

Tuppenceinred · 09/08/2013 09:16

We didn't hear your DP's tone of voice when he asked where his breakfast was, but I suspect that your brother's explosion was the result of a build up of bad feeling. Sounds to me as if your brother is unhappy at the way you are being treated in your partnership. Maybe he could have handled it better, but he seems concerned and angry about it.
And out of interest, why is your DP going off golfing in Portugal when you aren't getting a holiday at all?

JessicaBeatriceFletcher · 09/08/2013 09:17

I like your brother. Your DP, not so much.

overmydeadbody · 09/08/2013 09:17

You are indenial OP.

Your poor brother.

YouTheCat · 09/08/2013 09:17

I tend to agree with your brother. Who has probably said these things because he is worried about you.

You shouldn't have to ask for money. And if money is so tight, your dh shouldn't be buggering off golfing.

You making breakfast is entirely up to you though.

Bunbaker · 09/08/2013 09:17

I agree with Tee. Your relationship sounds very lopsided. Your brother is very much on your side and is sticking up for you.

Maybe he should have been a little more tactful, but your partner is taking advantage of you I'm afraid.

impatienttobemummy · 09/08/2013 09:17

Your brother is so right and I'd be proud he had the guts to do that for you

Faithless12 · 09/08/2013 09:17

YABU, your brother was standing up for you. Why can't your DP get his own breakfast?

dexter73 · 09/08/2013 09:17

I like the sound of your brother.

Binkyridesagain · 09/08/2013 09:18

I'm with your DB on this one. It sounds like you might need more help and support off him in the future, don't go burning this bridge.

Cuddlydragon · 09/08/2013 09:19

Gosh, I really admire your brother for sticking up for you OP. Shame you don't.

ourlittlestreet · 09/08/2013 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/08/2013 09:20

I think you should feel very lucky to have a brother who will stand up for you and speak his mind.

Your DP on the other hand sounds like a cock, if any apologies are due then they should be coming from him.

Original poster
fredas · 09/08/2013 09:20

I make breakfest whilst he gets ready for work to help him and make sure that he doesn't have to get up as early.

OP posts:
BoozyBear · 09/08/2013 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IBO · 09/08/2013 09:20

You should thank your brother for looking after you!

YouStayClassySanDiego · 09/08/2013 09:22

make sure that he doesn't have to get up as early.

Christ, so you have to get up early so he can stay in bed?

What are you making for breakfast that takes longer than sticking toast in or pouring milk on cereal>

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