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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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to think this child is too old to be exposing himself?

999 replies

JenniBoo · 05/08/2013 15:08

Bit of a back story... was delighted when a young family bought the house next door. After the previous elderly couple (who would complain about noise and balls going over the wall etc.,) I thought another young family would be a breath of fresh air and that their boys (8, 5 and 3) would play with my daughters (3yrs and 3 mths).

The first hint that they were not our sort of people became apparent almost immediately. They are both heavy smokers - they must smoke at least a pack a day - but instead of doing it in their house, they (and their friends) congregate on the porch- the smell wafts across into our garden and through the kitchen window. One day it was so bad, you could smell it in my baby's bedroom on the floor above! I asked them politely if they would mind smoking indoors or at the end of their garden - but they were completely unapologetic and said they couldn't do that because in the house if might affect THEIR children - and that at the end of the garden, they would get wet!

She seems to let her kids run wild - she is never in the garden with them, and the noise is something else. The other day I had to complain because they were throwing stones at each other - one flew across into our garden narrowly missing my baby, who was sleeping in the pram. I went across to complain but the mother couldn't have cared less. She lined them up and made them apologize, but she was all "boys will be boys" and you could tell she wasn't really sorry.

Today has been the final straw though. I came out to find both the younger boys exposing themselves to my older daughter. They had climbed onto their trampoline and were waving them at her. The older boy was there too, but was just laughing. I went round to the mother and told her. . The other mother told me I was "being stupid" and that "they are just little boys" and that I should "get over myself".

I don't think a 5 year old should be getting his willy out in public. Surely if he did that in the class at school he would be in huge trouble? Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
JenniBoo · 11/08/2013 22:15

Shouldn't you be on the other site then Cjel, rather than here Confused

OP posts:
JenniBoo · 11/08/2013 22:17

We do have an enormous bath, but the only communal bathing that goes on is me and DH - possibly with a bottle of sparkling wine - when we haven't left it all at the neighbours.

I don't think DH would want to bathe with the kids. Just out of interest, what do you do if one of them shits in the bath whilst the others are in it? Blush

OP posts:
5madthings · 11/08/2013 22:20

Mine have never pooed in the bath but if they did I would fish it out with a drive and empty the bath and give the kids a quick shower.

My kids have all bathed/showered with dp or myself and each other, its entirely normal. Even now ds1 is 13(almost 14) he will still come and sit on the side of the bath when I am in the bath so we can have a chat etc.

5madthings · 11/08/2013 22:20

With a seive

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 11/08/2013 22:23

What, your 14 year old son sits on the bath while you are in it? Really? Sorry, that is NOT NORMAL, it is distinctly odd that he should want to.

Cravingdairy · 11/08/2013 22:33

This thread is making me even happier that I live in a flat.

JenniBoo · 11/08/2013 22:34

Ahh the sieve - I remember those - there was one in the birthing pool pack - my husband was horrified. They asked in the birth planning meeting whether he would want to get in the pool with me and he said NO without hesitation - I'm sure it was the prospect of a floating turd that put him off.

I wouldnt' be comfortable with a 14 year old boy watching me bathe though. It's bad enough when people bring their 7 year olds into the ladies' changing rooms

OP posts:
5madthings · 11/08/2013 22:37

Not every time but yes sometimes, its fine and normal, he keeps himself covered now as he wants to, but he isn't bothered seeing me naked, but given he saw me give birth to his little sister 2.5yrs ago nudity is nothing special. We have always been very relaxed about nudity in our house.

There is nothing abnormal about it anothersplace

JenniBoo · 11/08/2013 22:50

I see. So, forgive my curiositiy 5madthings but do you keep a poo sieve by the bath then?

OP posts:
PrincessFiorimonde · 11/08/2013 22:56

Very interesting thread. Particularly WestieMamma's researches.

Thanks, all. Grin

5madthings · 11/08/2013 22:59

Er no why would I? As I said ,mine have never had a poo in the bath but that is what I would do had they have done. Mine are all out of nappies anyway so wouldn't poo in the bath now so I doubt I will ever have to do it, but had they when they were little that is what I imagine I would have done.

BuntCadger · 11/08/2013 23:04

Mine don't poo in bath either.

My 13 year old covers himself and doesn't share baths or showers since he reached puberty. But he will sometimes pop in bathroom (knocks first) to ask a question and not an issue if I'm in bath or shower. Nothing odd about it, he's my son for goodness sake.

The younger 2 will run around house and garden starkers. Perfectly normal.

What's strange is individuals like you Jenni and your dh. But to each their own.

JenniBoo · 11/08/2013 23:05

Both mine have pooed in the bath. Maybe propensity to poo in the bar is genetic? Interesting.

Have been reading another forum - it says this site (mumsnet) is the posh one - not netmums - so I think you lot have been a little bit naughty and have been winding me up :(

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 11/08/2013 23:07

I don't think either site is posh.

But from what I've heard everyone on Netmums calls each other 'hun' and 'babe'. Hmm

5madthings · 11/08/2013 23:10

Yep that's like ds1 bunt he showers/baths on his own now but will still come in the bathroom if I am in the shower/bath. He will ask first but he isn't bothered and actually as I tend to bath when the little ones are all in bed its nice and quiet and if he wants a chat its a good time to catch up. Plus he will make me a cup of tea as well Grin

Ds2 is 11 and starting to cover himself a bit now, the others are 8,5 and 2 and run round the house naked ansbath together. Ds2 will sometimes bath with the younger ones but is gradually wanting to bath on his own more, its entirely his choice.

BuntCadger · 11/08/2013 23:18

Sounds fab 5mad Smile love that they make tea! Tho we do have the teen moods too, not fun.

AlmostPerfect · 11/08/2013 23:20

To be fair, i live next door to a family who regulary smoke weed in their garden, usually in the evening. Which i couldnt care less about except in the recent hot weather ive had my windows open upstairs. When i went to put my 5 week old baby to bed i found the whole of upstairs stinkin like a drugs den. My 6 yo was passed out on his bed, 12 & 14 yo had bright red eyes as they had their room door shut an window open.
So i can understand how jenni feels, she doesnt smoke around her children so why should they have to breathe it in? Neighbours should be more considerate an move somewhere else to smoke.
The other side to me are a family with young girls, i have all boys, we both have a trampoline. I have learnt boys find willies fantastically funny an i dont think they ever grow out of it Grin i know my six yo would think it brilliany to show all the girls, for that reason he doesnt play naked outside, an he'd prob get it stuck in something!
Stone throwing, she did make them say sorry an with 3 boys shes prob used to it so it didnt seem such a major thing.

5madthings · 11/08/2013 23:20

Yes the teen moods are not so good! But he makes a good cup of tea and the is a pretty good cook so I can forgive a bit of hormonal moodiness :)

BuntCadger · 11/08/2013 23:22

Aw almostperfect that's a thoughtful post, fairly sure the OP isn't as genuine as you would hope and reading the whole thread might help Wink

ilovesooty · 11/08/2013 23:24

Anyone reckon this will limp on to 1000?

BuntCadger · 11/08/2013 23:27

We can fill it up Wink

BuntCadger · 11/08/2013 23:27

YouTheCat · 11/08/2013 23:28

Yeah probably.

BuntCadger · 11/08/2013 23:28

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BuntCadger · 11/08/2013 23:29

Ah bugger can't remember the blank post trick :-/