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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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to think this child is too old to be exposing himself?

999 replies

JenniBoo · 05/08/2013 15:08

Bit of a back story... was delighted when a young family bought the house next door. After the previous elderly couple (who would complain about noise and balls going over the wall etc.,) I thought another young family would be a breath of fresh air and that their boys (8, 5 and 3) would play with my daughters (3yrs and 3 mths).

The first hint that they were not our sort of people became apparent almost immediately. They are both heavy smokers - they must smoke at least a pack a day - but instead of doing it in their house, they (and their friends) congregate on the porch- the smell wafts across into our garden and through the kitchen window. One day it was so bad, you could smell it in my baby's bedroom on the floor above! I asked them politely if they would mind smoking indoors or at the end of their garden - but they were completely unapologetic and said they couldn't do that because in the house if might affect THEIR children - and that at the end of the garden, they would get wet!

She seems to let her kids run wild - she is never in the garden with them, and the noise is something else. The other day I had to complain because they were throwing stones at each other - one flew across into our garden narrowly missing my baby, who was sleeping in the pram. I went across to complain but the mother couldn't have cared less. She lined them up and made them apologize, but she was all "boys will be boys" and you could tell she wasn't really sorry.

Today has been the final straw though. I came out to find both the younger boys exposing themselves to my older daughter. They had climbed onto their trampoline and were waving them at her. The older boy was there too, but was just laughing. I went round to the mother and told her. . The other mother told me I was "being stupid" and that "they are just little boys" and that I should "get over myself".

I don't think a 5 year old should be getting his willy out in public. Surely if he did that in the class at school he would be in huge trouble? Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
magimedi · 09/08/2013 22:28

I have never, ever, on any forum I've been on, seen such a wind up as this thread.

Congratulations, OP!! Wine (not cava)

ilovesooty · 09/08/2013 22:29

It would be hilarious if the other Mum were a Mumsnetter. Grin

BlingBang · 09/08/2013 22:56

the smoking would bug me big time - other stuff - meh.

ouryve · 09/08/2013 23:02

Waiting for WilyWillyWagglerMum to start her own thread.

FrussoHathor · 09/08/2013 23:57

Now I know you're not serious OP.

got 2 bottles of Freixenet Cava Rosado Brut - which I thought struck the right conciliatory tone of "lets put this dreadful business all behind us..."

Noooooo, you bought them because they had 25% off. Cheapskate.
should have got the from ocado £13.99 bogof, works out better value for money,

WestieMamma · 10/08/2013 00:11

posh nibbles

I don't know why, but I find those two words hilarious.

ouryve · 10/08/2013 00:23

The precursor to a posh wank, westie!

Elderflowergranita · 10/08/2013 00:28

C'mon, it was obvious from OP:
"The first hint that they were not our sort of people became obvious almost immediately".

She handed it to us all on a plate: "Our sort of people"!! FFS

JenniBoo · 10/08/2013 08:30

Yes - they were 25% off - I usually try and buy a discounted wine as it is better value. Doesn't everyone do that?

Hmm... posh nibbles... Tiger Prawns, a little caviar, smoked salmon, a good parma ham (from the deli, not Waitrose)... that sort of thing...

Anyway, they were definitely NOT our sort of people. NIGHTMARE evening!

Off to go view this possible house now - hopefully that will put us in a better mood! Have a good day everyone. Grin

OP posts:
RandallPinkFloyd · 10/08/2013 08:37

Too far.

The secret to a good wind-up is knowing when to stop.

Spottypurse · 10/08/2013 08:43

Do people with young kids really not start socialising til nearly 10 at night? Me and my friends tend to meet about 8 and be home around 1 due to early rising for children and activities and the like.

Fakebook · 10/08/2013 08:48

Who the fuck lives in a shit hole and eats caviar? Confused. You should've taken round some Stella and pork scratchings. Duh.

Maryz · 10/08/2013 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouTheCat · 10/08/2013 09:26

Hahaha Grin

HepsibarCrinkletoes · 10/08/2013 09:29

What a surprise that it's total bollocks. Who'd have thunk it.

gordyslovesheep · 10/08/2013 09:37

hahaha oh OP you shot yourself in the foot - you went that little bit too far - shame because it was fun while it lasted

merrymouse · 10/08/2013 09:45

Well hopefully you brought back some left over nibbles so you have something to sustain you on the trip.

FrussoHathor · 10/08/2013 10:53

Yes, but what about the children, what happened about them? Won't somebody think of the children?

Winter123 · 10/08/2013 11:43

Very very entertaining thread.

cjel · 10/08/2013 13:24

Long way to go for house viewing? just seen red arrows over mine perhaps they are giving you a lift? How did the meeting go?

neunundneunzigluftballons · 10/08/2013 15:42

OP have you considered the possibility that they might be lottery winners and just do not know what to do with cavier and only have the plastic champagne flutes provided by the lottery. You probably put them in an awful spot of bother. Anyway onwards and upwards that 50 grand increase in house price budget will take you firmly out of the willy waggling neighbour category and into the how did the farmers cows break into my garden category.

JenniBoo · 10/08/2013 18:07

Thank goodness you mentioned the children FrussoHathor!

I want you all to know, I really did listen carefully to all your advice, and I suppose I really must have really quite different expectations to most parents, and I have previously had 360 feedback that says I tend to impose my world view on others, so I went,not just cap in hand (but with wine and my signature pesto and tomato canapes) ready to make the peace.

So, we ring the bell at precisely 9.36pm, because their children apparently aren't in bed until 9.30pm and they wouldn't be free until then. So "Charming Dad" here after refered to as CD opens the door, and his welcoming remark is "Oh, I thought we said 9.30?".

Then he asks us if we mind removing our shoes. Before you stamp on me, it was not a religious thing - or a cultural one either afaik anyway. Nor was it new carpets, because the place is pretty much as the previous owners left it - interior design circa 1973. So we're a bit taken back, and we stare at him confused - and he repeats it again... so I slip off my L K Bennett slingbacks, because I know I impose my world view on others too often, but I am thinking they are AS MAD AS A BOX OF FROGS..

I hand over my tray of delectable treats, and offer the not 1, but 2!! bottles of lovely wine - ok, I know it was on offer, but it is still nice wine... and off he trots to the kitchen, and we're ushered into the sitting room where Charming Mum (hereafter referred to as CM is already sitting on the floor apparently doing some sort of stretching routine. And she doesn't stop. Instead she moans on in huge detail about how middle DS has been constipated, but how he finally managed a "total clear out" that contained pieces of sweetcorn from a meal he consumed 2 days ago. From the corner of my eye, I can see DH going steadily greener. tbh he does have issues, as he can't even bear to talk about sperm, let alone the more pungent bodily fluids - and has never changed a nappy in my life... this can only end badly....

I can only imagine he might retch when offered one of the little caviar bites... BUT IT IS WORSE THAN THAT! When CD does reappear, the canapes are no where in sight. In fact, despite sitting there for an excruciating 84 minutes, and having turned up with at least £15 worth (in ingredients, I mean) of little bites, we are not offered as much as a dry roasted nut. Nor, such I hasten to add, a drink. Nothing. Nada. After about 30 minutes I was starting to break and suggested brightly "well shall we try that wine I bought?" and CD said "Oh, I don't think so".

Instead, CD reappeared not with a glass of sparkling wine, but with a guitar. "Do you play?" he asked brightly, and when we said we didn't ???!!!?? he said that he didn't mind playing at all - as if a sing-song was what we had all signed up for. Then he did. 45 minutes solid. CM sang like a drowned cat the whole time and kept urging us to join in.

At one point CM caught me eyeing the door - I was thinking "how the fuck do I get out of here?". This was precisely 8 1/2 minutes into our evening. When she caught my eye, I reddened and mumbled something about thinking I had heard one of their children coming down. "oh no" said CD "they're locked in, so you can't have". "Locked in" my DH repleid stunned. Now before you all get shirty with me, we did ask and they assured us it was a parenting tip gleaned from a book by C Green that they'd bought several years ago in WH Smiths. It says that the best way to tackle bedtime misbehavior was to tie the door shut. When they'd adopted this approach apparently this had revolutionized their lives, because according to CD their boys can be "little shits". Fuck how I laughed when I heard that.

At precisely 10pm, DH stood up and said it was getting late,and we would have to be going. So we all stood there for 5 minutes exclaiming what a great evening it had been and how we would all love to do it again soon. OMG NEVER! We came home (baby sitter was devastated as we pay by the hour), and DH spent the next half hour googling C Green. Apparently he does exist and did indeed write a book that promotes locking small children in bedrooms. So he decided not to call SS or 999. Presumably the tide of opinion on MN is that that's just fine too - along with the stone throwing and willie waggling.

I had to drink a double vodka. Before anyone jumps on me, DD2 is sleeping through and bottle fed.

Glad the thread has entertained so many. Viewing today - the house I mean, was very positive, but DH has made me promise not to tell you about it, as he says that when making a massive purchase it is probably not sensible to speak in public about it... and I suppose he has a point!

Anyone for a glass of cava?

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 10/08/2013 18:13

How were you sitting there for an excruciating 84 minutes if you arrived at 9.36 and left at 10?

I fail to see how they managed to squeeze 45 minutes of singing into that time frame either. Hmm

BS

neunundneunzigluftballons · 10/08/2013 18:19

Jenniboo you are a total hoot. Over the course of this thread I have realised you would be a great neighbour you are hilarious.

EmmaGellerGreen · 10/08/2013 18:20

Sounds like you all had a really jolly time!

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