TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 3

[TidyDancer]

Here you go!

[prettybird]

I'm supposed to be packing to go off to Ireland tomorrow for a cycle race that ds is doing. I've also got to make chocolate chip cookies to make (the kids have come to expect them ).

This is distracting me!!!

[Ezio]

Ignore the friend from now on, factual response to the sister, thats all that needs to be said.

Gluezilla is starting to sound like a child begging its mother for a new toy.

[Mia4]

It sounds like your friendship with this woman may well be truly done Tidy-question is are you sad or relieved? I'm intrigued, do you know any of the others who received STD but no invites? What were their 'roles' in the brides eyes?

[SarahAndFuck]

I still like Horry's suggestion on the second thread. Perhaps taking up, I think it was Diddl's suggestion, to not say "I'm sorry" at the start.

I would still take out the bits in the strikethrough and add in the bits in italics.


Dear Sister Of The Bride

I'm sorry to hear that Gluezilla is upset. I thought we had come to an understanding.

I really don't understand myself why Gluezilla is upset, so perhaps you could explain it to me.

She invited me to her wedding last year by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm not invited after all, which I've accepted as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue, but still not be invited to share her special day as Gluezilla had never discussed this with me until X date. I'm afraid it's just not possible for me to help. I would have had to rearrange time off work (which I had cancelled once I knew I wasn't invited) and organise expensive childcare in order to do so.

I can't believe Gluezilla doesn't realise what an imposition this is given how thoughtful she normally is but maybe she will once she has children of her own. I simply can't help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards
Tidy


And so would make the entire message read as follows:


Dear Sister Of The Bride

I really don't understand myself why Gluezilla is upset, so perhaps you could explain it to me.

She invited me to her wedding last year by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm not invited after all, which I've accepted as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue, as Gluezilla had never discussed this with me until X date. I'm afraid it's just not possible for me to help. I would have had to rearrange time off work (which I had cancelled once I knew I wasn't invited) and organise expensive childcare in order to do so.

I can't believe Gluezilla doesn't realise what an imposition this is given how thoughtful she normally is. I simply can't help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards
Tidy

[Cookingmonster]

Definitely NOT placemarking. Just wondered if anyone would like some popcorn?

[Cookingmonster]

DAMN! Thought I was good just lurking but accidentally reposted! I have Malteasers as well....

[HepsibarCrinkletoes]

.

[MrsKoala]

I think i would just answer 'i think it is rude to be asked to decorate for a party i am not invited to and therefore am not willing to do so.'

[Sollers]

Yes, I like the Horry/Sarah response best. Send that.

[BigW]

In no way should this post be viewed as place marking. As you were.

[MrsKoala]

I would not say why it isn't possible to help - childcare/work - because thay implies that if these were not obstructing you you would be willing to do it. And she may then feel she wasn't tude and it's just convenience standing in your way. She may even offer solutions to childcare etc.

i think you need to say you wont do it because it is a plain rude expectation.

[PeriodFeatures]

I really want Tidy to get back to sister and say...'um look i understand how important this is, i'll see what I can do'

string it out for about four days, get their hopes up and BOOM.. 'no sorry, it's absolutely impossible, I really have tried'

Gosh i'm horrible!

[laeiou]

I think the response should be clear that gluezilla keeps asking, and keeps getting the same answer.

[Witt]

I like the Horry response too

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Thread three - this is the read that keeps on giving. TidyDancer, I think I love you!

[BigW]

As far as I can make out from the sister's response, Gluezilla is upset not because she is worried that she has upset a lifelong friend, but rather that her decorations won't get done.

She's either a self obsessed meanie or...no wait...she's just a self obsessed meanie.

[EverythingIsTicketyBoo]

Ooh, I missed the sister bit, you will tell us what you reply won't you Tidy surely it can't just be you subjected to her bad manners and poor treatment!!

[farrowandbawl]

Ooooh, let us know what you said won't you?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I think senua's response (on the other thread, so I will copy it here) is perfect:

Dear GlueSister

It is a shame that Gluezilla is getting herself upset over her wedding plans but it has nothing to do with me.

^She originally implied that I was to be invited to the wedding, but when the invitations went out I was not included on the list. I therefore conclude that I am not one of the 80 most important people in her life. Fair enough, that's her decision.
After demonstrating how little she values me as a friend, she then asked me to do her an enormous favour which would have been a big inconvenience to me. To compound the problem, the favour was in connection with the wedding to which I was no longer invited. So the request was both presumptuous and staggeringly insensitive.^

I declined. I never intimated that I would do it. I had to decline again because she kept asking (and therefore compounding the rudeness). It seems that she is now using you to ask, yet again.

The answer remains the same and will do, no matter how many times she asks. I would be grateful if you persuaded her that it would be a better use of her energy to ask someone else because I am not going to reconsider. She needs to change track, and fast, because the later she leaves it, the more difficult it will be to find someone.

Sorry that this is so long-winded but I feel that the family needs to hear my side of the story because GlueZilla does not seem to be taking my e-mails on board.

Regards

Tidy

[weisswusrt]

You know what would clear this up for all involved?? Sending links to bridezilla and sis-zilla! Doitdoitdoitdoit!

[FriskyHenderson]

Just forward Gluezilla's email to the sister with the message


"This ↓↓↓↓"

[FriskyHenderson]

Oh bollox - those are downwards arrows.

[Longtalljosie]

I don't see why Tidy has to pretend she didn't mind being uninvited. I'd go with...

Dear sister,

I'm sorry to hear sister is upset that I won't decorate her wedding venue for free. She didn't discuss this with me earlier in the planning stages - perhaps she should have. She did, however, invite me to save the date for her wedding. I did so, only to be uninvited and then asked if I would decorate the venue for the invited guests regardless. That would be a no. There's friendship, and then there's being treated like a mug.

Yours etc.