TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 3

[TidyDancer]

Here you go!

Definitely not marking place, nope, not me

Since I am name checked already I have no qualms in jumping into this thread feet first.

Sarah's edit of my letter is excellent, although for strategic/political reasons I would be more bewildered and less shirty where possible.

And I've realised you can cite either time off work or childcare issues but not both...

I think the idea behind it is so Tidy doesn't look like she still wants an invite Longtalljosie.

Her perfectly reasonable decision not to help could be twisted to look like sour grapes or angling for an invite if she keeps mentioning it.

I think MrsKoala is right about the the childcare comments actually, so I'm changing my stolen from Horry suggestion again to:

Dear Sister Of The Bride

I really don't understand myself why Gluezilla is upset, so perhaps you could explain it to me.

She invited me to her wedding last year by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm not invited after all, which I've accepted as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue, as Gluezilla had never discussed this with me until X date. I'm afraid it's just not possible for me to help for a number of reasons.

I can't believe Gluezilla doesn't realise what an imposition this is given how thoughtful she normally is. I simply can't help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards
Tidy

all this childcare business is beside the point and actually just diverting attention from the rudeness aspect.

tidy is good enough to help decorate the hall as gluezilla's skivvy, but not good enough to go to the wedding.

and that is NOT ASSEPTABLE.

Best thread EVAR!

ah x-post.

Yes Sarah/Horry - Mine would be slightly altered :

Dear Sister Of The Bride

I really don't understand myself why Gluezilla is upset, so perhaps you could explain it to me.

She invited me to her wedding last year by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm not invited after all, which I've accepted as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue, as Gluezilla had never discussed this with me until X date. I'm afraid I am unwilling to decorate for an event for which I am not invited, so therefore have declined.

I can't believe Gluezilla doesn't realise what an imposition this is given how thoughtful she normally is. I simply wont help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards
Tidy

This is immense! The saga continues...

I've just sat and read through thread 1, 2, and this one tidy and i think you must reply to the sister with the same dignity with which you have replied to the bride.

Make sure the reply explains about the STD card and your hurt in a calm and sensible way. I cannot believe anyone who knows the facts of the situation could fail to see your point of view.

No need for wit or vitriol.

I would just go with:

Hi sister-of-the bride, I am not sure why Bridezilla is upset as I never at any point discussed decorating with her or agreed to help! She asked me a couple of times but I told her straight away I wasn't able to help. So I really don't know why she told you she was relying on me. I guess she has a lot on her plate with the wedding plans.

To be honest I did say she was a bit insensitive to ask me as she had originally sent me a save the date card and I had thought I would be invited to the wedding. When it turned out I was not invited, I thought fair enough plans change and you cant invite everyone, the save the date cards were a bit odd, but never mind. But then to be asked to give up my time and sort out childcare etc to decorate for the "real" guests didn't appeal to me at all and hence I let her know I couldn't do it.

Anyway, I am sure you can sort something else out. There's always so much to do leading up to a wedding isn't there? I hope you have a good day.

Tidy

Dear Gluesister,

I am so sorry to hear that your sister is so upset about this. Hopefully I can fill you in on what's happened.

She invited me to save the date for her wedding back in June (?), which I did. I have to admit that I was a little surprised and quite disappointed given the length of our friendship, that a wedding invitation did not follow. As hurt as I was not to be included in her special day I resolved not to bear a grudge as I know how hard it can be on budgets when you are planning a wedding and I truly wish her well for her special day.

Imagine how I felt then when she thought it was ok to ask me to help her decorate the venue for a wedding to which I had essentially been disinvited. I understand that planning a wedding can be all consuming and I am willing to make allowances for that, but I think this request is one step too far. I'm sure you can see my point of view and I hope you will be able to explain to your sister so she is able to find someone in a better position to help than me.

I really hope the day goes well and Gluezilla is able to find the help she needs.

"Dear Sister,

I'm not entirely sure myself why F is upset if I'm honest. All I can do is really explain my position and hopefully it'll make sense to you.

Your sister invited me and [DP's name] to her wedding by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm one of 20 who received the original save the date cards and whom are not invited after all. I've accepted this as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue, as F had never discussed this with me before less than a fortnight ago and I'm afraid it's just not possible for me to help for a number of reasons. I'm not sure if you're under the impression that I had arranged to help F and then pulled out, but this isn't what happened. I truly had no idea she was going to approach me to do this until I received her email.

Your sister is normally so thoughtful, so I'm surprised she hasn't realised what an imposition it is. It's just too much I'm afraid and I simply can't help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards
Tidy"

That was my reply. Thanks to lots of you who helped, mainly Hoppy who I believe put together the main body of it. I have tweaked in a few places, but I am very grateful!

Have you sent it Tidy? I like it

Wow, thread three on this and bridezilla still hasn't seen how rude she has been.

I like missimperfects reply. not place marking at all oh no

Yep, it's been sent. :)

Yay Tidy!

O_o

Dear Sister of GlueZilla

I don't know what you have been told but at no point did I agree to help GlueZilla decorate the hall so I have no idea why she would be upset with me
I thought it was insensitive of her to ask me to do it considering that I am not invited to the wedding despite being sent a save the date card last XXXX
I have been clear about my position with her and i really don't want to discuss it any further

I hope everything is ok with you

Tidy

(Short, unemotive and to the point)

That's perfect.

Doh. Too late.....

Classy reply once again, Tidy.

Do you think they'll get the message now?

nicely done tidy

if anyone responds now though making you look insane you should revert back to the glue comment

Tidy

That is a great reply. You sound really sensible and level headed.

Great work