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AIBU?

To be sick of DP's poo crumbs?

536 replies

nomorecrumbs · 31/07/2013 20:14

My DP is very hairy. He leaves poo crumbs and hair on the seat every day and I'm sick of wiping it. This is way worse than the seat-up-or-down debate. I finally snapped after a year and told him he must start using wet wipes to avoid the poo crumb issue. I feel like I'm looking after a 2 year old in this regard.

It's been particularly bad in bed this summer as he sleeps naked so the crumbs go EVERYWHERE.

He says I have no right to interfere in his toilet routine and I say I'm not sexing someone who can't keep their poo crumbs under control.

His family are full of boys and he says the poo crumbs thing is normal and that I'm overreacting. AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

SuburbanRhonda · 31/07/2013 20:57

Poo crumbs and piles.

Your DH sounds a real catch, OP.

Fairylea · 31/07/2013 20:57

Put veet in his arsecrack when he's asleep. No more hair. No more chugnuts.

Gruntfuttocks · 31/07/2013 20:57

"Clinkers" in this household. I've never seen a detached one, if you see what I mean...

Kids are asking me what I'm laughing about..

Scarletohello · 31/07/2013 20:58

Omg I have never laughed as much as on this thread...:). ( but OP I do feel your pain ) and for once, am glad I'm single !!

ageofgrandillusion · 31/07/2013 20:58

This is gross. The filthy fucker should wash his arse after each dump if his ringer is so bloody hairy.

BaronessTeapot · 31/07/2013 20:58

Put veet in his arsecrack when he's asleep

pictish · 31/07/2013 20:58

Me too thewhitequeen

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 31/07/2013 20:59

I'm sorry - he refuses to clean up after himself?

Does he actually think that it's your job to wipe up his poo and arse hair?

Might I suggest a dustpan and brush and the garnishing of his every meal?

Or at least relocating them to his pillow.

It's not so much the mess as the apparent attitude that you should just be ok cleaning it!

pictish · 31/07/2013 21:01

My dh is in posession of a hairy ol' arse, and you may be assured there are no dangleberries swinging free in this house.
Tell him to clean himself better, the filthy beggar.

KnittedC · 31/07/2013 21:01

I have never before read a while thread with my hand clamped over my mouth. I don't have the words to express how thoroughly filthy, vile, and completely unacceptable this/he is.

Boak!

fluffyraggies · 31/07/2013 21:02

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=clagnut

Clag-nut
Chug-nut
Winnet
Clinker

Whatever - it's all revolting!

Wet wipes or divorce.

Scarletohello · 31/07/2013 21:02

I wonder OP, do you ever rim your DH..? Bloody hope he never expects you to. < boak >

BaronessTeapot · 31/07/2013 21:02

Never mind the wet wipes - he'd be going through a sheep dip before he got anywhere near the bedroom.

MamaLazarou · 31/07/2013 21:02

How can you bear to have sex with someone who's got shit on their arse?

Sparklingbrook · 31/07/2013 21:03

Eww buy him some washlets asap. He can't be wiping properly.

Reminds me of a woman at work that left fanny dandruff on the loo seat.

nomorecrumbs · 31/07/2013 21:03

He wouldn't notice if I put them on his pillow so no revenge satisfaction there :( he is seriously SO dozy that I don't think it's ever occurred to him to look at the toilet seat, let alone clean it.

Anyway I had it out with him last night, and either he hasn't been to the loo yet or he has actually cleaned the seat. I've made the bed and it is STAYING CLEAN. I don't mind the toilet being crumby but the bed was really the last straw.

OP posts:

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 31/07/2013 21:03

My husband is unbelievably hairy (seriously, he's more gorilla than man) but has never suffered with "poo crumbs" or indeed left any such trace on the loo seat or in our bed ( by the way).

You should not have to clean this up! It's his mess - literally. YEEURGH.

Fakebook · 31/07/2013 21:04

EURGH. //😷😷😷😷😷😷. Buy him some anusol for the piles, but fill the tube with veet beforehand.

nomorecrumbs · 31/07/2013 21:04

Fanny dandruff

What on earth is that...I don't want to know...?!!! I didn't think our pubis had a scalp-like surface that enabled flakes???

OP posts:

Shitsinger · 31/07/2013 21:04

HAHAHAHA!!!
who are you really OP 10/10 for a great wind up

Back2Two · 31/07/2013 21:06

I think the veet suggestion is your best bet.

My dh is like the princess and the pea. One suggestion of a crumb (And I'm talking TOAST) on his side of the bed and he's out of bed sweeping the sheet like a crazed thing.

Poo crumbs eh? That's not good for your sex life.

Sparklingbrook · 31/07/2013 21:06

I knew someone once who said when they had sex with their DH and she went on top there were always skidders in the bed after.

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MamaLazarou · 31/07/2013 21:06

At the very least, he should shower before bed. No-one should have to sleep in faecal matter.

MamaLazarou · 31/07/2013 21:07

'Fanny dandruff'?

How do you know it was fanny dandruff and not just normal head dandruff?

Sparklingbrook · 31/07/2013 21:08

Or the damp patch and faecal matter Mama.

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