To be sick of DP's poo crumbs?

[nomorecrumbs]

My DP is very hairy. He leaves poo crumbs and hair on the seat every day and I'm sick of wiping it. This is way worse than the seat-up-or-down debate. I finally snapped after a year and told him he must start using wet wipes to avoid the poo crumb issue. I feel like I'm looking after a 2 year old in this regard.

It's been particularly bad in bed this summer as he sleeps naked so the crumbs go EVERYWHERE.

He says I have no right to interfere in his toilet routine and I say I'm not sexing someone who can't keep their poo crumbs under control.

His family are full of boys and he says the poo crumbs thing is normal and that I'm overreacting. AIBU?

Poo crumbs and piles.

Your DH sounds a real catch, OP.

Put veet in his arsecrack when he's asleep. No more hair. No more chugnuts.

"Clinkers" in this household. I've never seen a detached one, if you see what I mean...

Kids are asking me what I'm laughing about..

Omg I have never laughed as much as on this thread...:). ( but OP I do feel your pain ) and for once, am glad I'm single !!

This is gross. The filthy fucker should wash his arse after each dump if his ringer is so bloody hairy.

Put veet in his arsecrack when he's asleep

Me too thewhitequeen

I'm sorry - he refuses to clean up after himself?

Does he actually think that it's your job to wipe up his poo and arse hair?

Might I suggest a dustpan and brush and the garnishing of his every meal?

Or at least relocating them to his pillow.

It's not so much the mess as the apparent attitude that you should just be ok cleaning it!

My dh is in posession of a hairy ol' arse, and you may be assured there are no dangleberries swinging free in this house.
Tell him to clean himself better, the filthy beggar.

I have never before read a while thread with my hand clamped over my mouth. I don't have the words to express how thoroughly filthy, vile, and completely unacceptable this/he is.

Boak!

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=clagnut

Clag-nut
Chug-nut
Winnet
Clinker

Whatever - it's all revolting!

Wet wipes or divorce.

I wonder OP, do you ever rim your DH..? Bloody hope he never expects you to. < boak >

Never mind the wet wipes - he'd be going through a sheep dip before he got anywhere near the bedroom.

How can you bear to have sex with someone who's got shit on their arse?

Eww buy him some washlets asap. He can't be wiping properly.

Reminds me of a woman at work that left fanny dandruff on the loo seat.

He wouldn't notice if I put them on his pillow so no revenge satisfaction there :( he is seriously SO dozy that I don't think it's ever occurred to him to look at the toilet seat, let alone clean it.

Anyway I had it out with him last night, and either he hasn't been to the loo yet or he has actually cleaned the seat. I've made the bed and it is STAYING CLEAN. I don't mind the toilet being crumby but the bed was really the last straw.

My husband is unbelievably hairy (seriously, he's more gorilla than man) but has never suffered with "poo crumbs" or indeed left any such trace on the loo seat or in our bed ( by the way).

You should not have to clean this up! It's his mess - literally. YEEURGH.

EURGH. 😷😷😷😷😷😷. Buy him some anusol for the piles, but fill the tube with veet beforehand.

Fanny dandruff

What on earth is that...I don't want to know...?!!! I didn't think our pubis had a scalp-like surface that enabled flakes???

HAHAHAHA!!!
who are you really OP 10/10 for a great wind up

I knew someone once who said when they had sex with their DH and she went on top there were always skidders in the bed after.

At the very least, he should shower before bed. No-one should have to sleep in faecal matter.

'Fanny dandruff'?

How do you know it was fanny dandruff and not just normal head dandruff?

Or the damp patch and faecal matter Mama.