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AIBU?

To be sick of DP's poo crumbs?

536 replies

nomorecrumbs · 31/07/2013 20:14

My DP is very hairy. He leaves poo crumbs and hair on the seat every day and I'm sick of wiping it. This is way worse than the seat-up-or-down debate. I finally snapped after a year and told him he must start using wet wipes to avoid the poo crumb issue. I feel like I'm looking after a 2 year old in this regard.

It's been particularly bad in bed this summer as he sleeps naked so the crumbs go EVERYWHERE.

He says I have no right to interfere in his toilet routine and I say I'm not sexing someone who can't keep their poo crumbs under control.

His family are full of boys and he says the poo crumbs thing is normal and that I'm overreacting. AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

nauticant · 31/07/2013 21:18

So how big is a typical crumb? A millimetre? 5?

peggotty · 31/07/2013 21:18

So he's lazy, hairy and scatters pubes and flecks of shit in his wake wherever he goes? What a catch!

MrsCR · 31/07/2013 21:18

Jeez I am freaked to a whole new level - skidders make my skin crawl enough and all 3 boys have serious talking's too if they do one
but OMG poo crumbs anywhere with consistency is so so so wrong.

well done for having it out.

now, what the actual FK is fanny dandruff sparklingbrook???

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 31/07/2013 21:18

My DH is very hairy, but has never had this problem. He also knows that he needs to be scrupulously clean and fresh before coming to bed......

littlemisswise · 31/07/2013 21:18

FIL poo crumbs thread.

nauticant · 31/07/2013 21:19

And I've just noticed your username. Ha ha ha ha!

everlong · 31/07/2013 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nirvana79 · 31/07/2013 21:20

I feel sick, yet I keep reading. Wtf am I doing!

BigW · 31/07/2013 21:20

LTB before you get dysentery.

onlyfortonight · 31/07/2013 21:21

Sorry OP, I was in the Navy for 17 years, sharing toilets and showers with hundreds of men (obv not at the same time!) and I have NEVER seen a poo crumb. Good Lord...an offender who did that at sea would have been scrubbed down with yard brooms by the lads.

Sleepybunny · 31/07/2013 21:21

You know it is your duty as his wife to wash poo crumbs from your sheets and wipe his arse properly.

He is the man FFS! He is far to busy and important to trouble himself with your inability to mange your household duties.

Some people!

Coffeenowplease · 31/07/2013 21:23

I wonder actually if that bloke I mentioned is in fact your DP....

nomorecrumbs · 31/07/2013 21:24

nauticant They vary slightly in size but the average one is about 2mm in circumference.

I do have a dodgy tummy today BigW but I think that was last night's prawns more than anything. Yes, he did cook them.

Oh and another thing while I'm here. He has this odd habit of washing his hands for literally 1 second under the tap before drying his hands. During my Big Clean on Sunday I noticed the door where the towel hangs has subtle brown stains all down it. I called this DP's "poo and wee water" and he refuses to believe it.

I don't know for sure if he's caused the "poo and wee water" down the door but I can't think what else it could be. Remnants of my fake tan? But I do wash my hands properly, unlike him.

OP posts:

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 31/07/2013 21:25

Fucking Nora. I would demand that the dirty cunt waxes his fat, hairy arsehole. Dump his stinking ringer if he refuses.

greeneyed · 31/07/2013 21:25

ffs I'm eating!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 31/07/2013 21:26

Will someone PLEASE explain what fanny dandruff is.

I refuse to google it.

One of these days I'm going to have the police at my door after googling words and phrases I read on here!

TroublesomeEx · 31/07/2013 21:26

Oh the mental images I have of your DP now crumbs

TroublesomeEx · 31/07/2013 21:27

Me too, Hecs.

GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 31/07/2013 21:28

Hm not great if he won't use the wipes but hopefully he will at least clean himself up more effectively and clean the loo seat... Good luck!

onlyfortonight · 31/07/2013 21:29

Sooo...he leaves poo and wee on your toilet, in your sink (not enough time for the water to wash away the filth), on your hand towels, door handles, anything else he touches and finally in your bed...

Tell me...the sex must be fantastic!

littlemisswise · 31/07/2013 21:29

Hecsy I googled it and flange dandruff and I still have no fecking clue. If the police come to me it's your fault!

gaggiagirl · 31/07/2013 21:31

Digested biscuits

Boak

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ageofgrandillusion · 31/07/2013 21:31

Tis probably just fanny cheese.

iworemyfringelikerogermcguinns · 31/07/2013 21:31

dear op

our owner was sitting stuffing her face with unnecessary sweeties and biscuits until she read this thread but she is now too disgusted to continue.

many thanks,

iworemyfringelikerogermcguinns's teeth

LynetteScavo · 31/07/2013 21:31

Why have I only ever heard about poo crumbs on MN?

I must live a sheltered life.

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