TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 2

[TidyDancer]

New thread. :)

I like treaguess reply. I wouldbe tempted to send it even though its probably best not to respond.

I'm willing to lay odds on Gluezilla having crafted her reply after asking for advice on Netmums a more cutesy website sympathetic to bridezillas like Confetti rather than the nest of vipers more straight-talking Mumsnet.

...along the lines of....

How do I respond to my un guest who thinks I was unreasonable letting her know when she should be arranging childcare so that she could come and work for free share in the big day by decorating the venue even though she wasn't invited ? It was a perfectly reasonable request and I'm sure she'll be disappointed not to be involved. All I was doing was trying to share the joy of my big day.

One day in the years to come she might come to her senses but somehow I doubt it

Imagine the reply pretty.

Awwww honey. She is soooo unreasonable. It is your super special day and she sooooo should be honoured to be part of it in anyway possible. She sounds jealous of your wondrous beauty and happiness. Awwwww.

Or something like that...

Thanks Gooooooooo....d I was quite pleased with it
Especially because she really couldn't reply to it without being incredibly petty.

I always think with these threads, how much bad feeling could have been saved by one person saying: Do you know what? I just looked at what I wrote and I can't believe I was so thoughtless. Ignore that last email/card and let's catch up when this whole thing is over. Mwah!

Oh FFS, it gets worse.

Gluezilla's sister has emailed me asking what happened, as the bride is upset. Not at what she has done, but at the fact that I won't help her. It's not a horrible or unpleasant email, but I am utterly flabbergasted.

I truly do not know what to say now.

oooh she's bitching about you now.
send gluezilla's sister copies of email correspondence up to now in case she's exaggerating.

"I truly do not know what to say now."
It may actually be time to direct this family of loons to your threads now Tidy .

Just forward your last email to the bride to her sister and add something at the top like.

"I am sorry to hear that your sister is upset. I think my email below explains the situation"

I'd recommend ignoring and bit continuing to engage.

But if you do reply, do so with something along the lines of, "Yes, the stress must be getting to her, as you're sure she wouldn't normally be so rude as to expect someone to help decorate the venue for an event that they'd very deliberately not been invited to, despite having had an advance invitation (which is what "save the date" cards are generally understood to be). You hope everyone has a lovely day but you'll be spending the "saved date" with those that value your company".

Just email 'I don't mind that there wasn't space for me to be invited to the wedding despite being told to 'save the date'. But I do mind being expected to arrange childcare in order to decorate a hall for the benefit of the invited guests. I wish your sister well and hope she has a lovely wedding.'

For "bit" read "not"

what did the sister say?

I really wanna hear the sister's email

Something tells me Gluezilla has absolutely no-one to help her decorate the hall and Tidy was her last hope.

Wonder why she's not had any other offers elsewhere

Can you just forward your last message to the sister saying "I think this will explain everything"? I wouldn't expend any energy on getting drawn into a lengthy dialogue.

I wouldn't reply to BZ directly, seeing as she clearly doesn't give a toss about anything other than her Perfect Day Being Ruined.

I like YouTheCats response.

Dear Sister Of The Bride

I'm sorry to hear that Gluezilla is upset. I thought we had come to an understanding.

She invited me to her wedding last year by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm not invited after all, which I've accepted as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue but still not be invited to share her special day. I would have had to rearrange time off work (which I had cancelled once I knew I wasn't invited) and expensive childcare in order to do so.

I can't believe Gluezilla doesn't realise what an imposition this is given how thoughtful she normally is, but maybe she will once she has children of her own. I simply can't help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards
Tidy

I second amandap suggestion. Your response was very dignified and to the point and showing gluezilla's sister what she's totally over-reacting at may actually mean in future gluesister may be able to explain why you aren't friends anymore!

Perhaps the sister would understand - bit less bridezilla?

Surely she can understand that you can't afford to pay for childcare to do this for someone that values your friendship so little?

Alternatively, you could pretend to back down graciously - then decorate the tables with Sylvanian Families and dandelions in empty Brasso pots as centrepieces

Tidy, I think you're going to have to start another thread soon.

My plan is to emphasise that you're being mucked about and can't do it, rather than sounding like you've fallen out with Gluezilla even though you have.

FC whatever you say, sister goes back to bride and says, "Er, you didn't exactly tell me the full story, you mare."

Is sister of the same type? Or is she likely to cringe when it's explained to her..?

It wasn't a long email, it was just saying that the bride was upset because I wasn't able to help her and shed been relying on me.

I can't figure out whether or not she was under the impression I'd agreed to help and was now backing out, or whether she actually understood I'd never said I would help.

tidy it sounds to me like the sister, at least, thinks you agreed to help and are now backing out. Maybe you should make clear that you never offered or agreed.