TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 2

[TidyDancer]

New thread. :)

Good grief! She really is clueless isn't she? Tidy, I'm really beginning to think that this is one 'friend' you really don't need in your life. Not a big deal? Right! Sure it's not a big deal to treat a friend like c*.

Yeah, don't reply. She'll spend a couple of weeks hoping to hear from you that you've changed your mind. Be sure to let all of your fellow STD card but no wedding invite card receivers know though because it's highly likely she's going to ask one of them.

Don't reply! Leave it. Nothing about her hilariously oblivious response requires any further comment from you.

She really hasn't got a clue, has she?

Yes, maybe don't communicate any further and leave her 'stewing' and if she communicates you (and she probably will she sounds so thick) just say 'I'm busy, I'm seeing a friend'.

definitely don't apologise either

I agree. You made your position clear. No reply is required.

Ooooooo! She doesn't deserve any more of your time. Plan setting
Fabulous for the day she's getting married! Or get pissed the same day and just put loads
Of posts
On fb how ur missing a fab
Day at her wedding but u saved the day but the invite got lost! Or
Ponder how the decorations are and how sorry you didn't dress her venue up with toilet paper and crepe paper !!

I agree that just leaving it, staying silent and letting the 'friendship' ebb away is probably the best course of action.

I'd be sorely tempted to buy her a pretty basket for a wedding present and fill it with Pritt, UHU...

I'm with the 'Don't reply' brigade.

If you REALLY have to respond- then do so as ambiguous as possible. Best suggestion I've seen is 'Righto', or '"Oh well, I'm glad that's settled then. Have a lovely wedding."

Or even skin exfoliator

Oh and - don't respond for for at least two days!

I'm another who would not reply to her again. Let her go her own sweet way, if your mother is right (and she probably is) your friend is unlikely to EVER understand what she has done and why it was socially crass.

tidy, I know what your mum means about people who are intelligent etc etc but don't have much common sense (more like people skills/empathy!)

am torn between the dignified/ silence-is-golden/ don't reply/ waste any more time on her/ brigade

and

the excellent suggestion below from balloonslayer (perhaps without last sentence 'no offence'):

"I didn't think my refusing was that big a deal either. I can't understand why you won't accept it and keep on and on at me trying to get me to do this work for you. You are starting to make yourself seem slightly unhinged. No offence!!! xxx"

It's hard to reply without seeming churlish, agree the best is say nothing.

Another saying don't reply - her response was so dismissive of you that she clearly couldn't give a shit - sorry!

I'd definitely let this friendship go.

I echo the "don't reply" sentiment.

Misunderstanding?

Change your mind?

Xxx?

Flipping hell

she is totally fucking self-absorbed.
Let it go now, she ain't worth it.

Have been following since the first thread. Um, wow! I would also not reply at this point, there is clearly no point.

I can't help but have a tiny bit of admiration for that level of self-centredness. I would be much further ahead in life if I could brazenly treat other people like that!

Wow, she is quite a piece of work. I know I said the glue thing as a joke, but I'm actually starting to think it might be true!

I agree that no reply is probably the best course of action, but as someone who always wants to have the last word, I'd be very tempted to send one of the excellent replies above, or something like -

"Yes, there has been a misunderstanding. You have misunderstood basic manners and social norms. I'm a bit embarrassed for you, but to save you from any further misunderstanding, I'll make it very clear. I won't be helping you decorate, and I won't be changing my mind.

Enjoy your wedding, I'm sure it will be very nice."

Wow

I've nothing new to add to recent comments, but I do agree that there's absolutely no point in replying to her.

Have you warned your other dis-invited local friend about this? She might be the next victim.

Please do not reply. But do buy http://www.debretts.com/debrett%27s-publications/books/a-z-of-modern-manners.aspx and send it with a wedding card that says: 'Wishing you all the best for the future. I am sure you will find this gift useful as you move forward in your new life.'

I don't think you should reply, but if you do use one of the 'bright and breezy' suggestions made above, you've got to get that email out asap, or else it looks contrived.

Don't reply. After all she asked you to 'let her know' if you change your mind.

You haven't so you don't need to let her know.

Don't reply.

Bat shit crazy.

I love the idea of the gift basket of glues

I also agree that not replying is the best way to go, but for slightly different reasons.

I don't think she is agog waiting for a reply from you. I think it's clear that she is not thinking about you very much at all. Her head is so full of Bridezilla shit - favours and menus and flowers and waxing appointments and hen nights etc - that there is no space to think about someone else's feelings.

You will not be the only person she has offended.

She will be in the grip of probably ten or fifteen severe "problems" at the moment, which to her, will be as serious and pressing as the decisions Churchill had to make during the Blitz. They will be things like:

• she wants the hairdresser to arrive at 0900 hours on the day but the hairdresser says she can't be there till 0930. The wedding is at 1400. Does she sack the hairdresser and get another one? But this hairdresser does her hair so well. Why can't the hairdresser come at 0900 just this once? Why can't the hairdresser's childminder take the children early/the hairdressers sick mother put herself on the commode/ the hairdresser's DH walk the 10 miles to work so she can have the car? Emails flying back and forth.

• her sister, a single mother with no money and support other than people coming to the wedding has just had a baby. Her older DD is bridesmaid and sister has got to be there to control the DD. Baby is not invited though. Sister is being difficult about this. Says baby is BF and she has no one to look after it for her. She needs her sister to be there! Some people!

• there is a spelling mistake on one of the menus and she wants them done again for free. But the printers say she should have proof-read them before printing. She gave them to a friend to proof-read and they obviously didn't do it properly. It's all right for the friend - they haven't been invited to the wedding so they won't have to face the embarrassment of people pointing out the mistake on the day. But she will lose face. Gaaaah! What to do?

• there is a red and yellow colour scheme. Groom and best man have suddenly out of nowhere refused to wear a red rose in their buttonhole. They say it's something to do with being from Yorkshire - she has never heard anything so stupid in her life! Yes she knows they are Yorkshiremen through and through. No they can't wear a white rose, it would ruin everything. Why can't they wear a red rose on her speshul day? Why? Why? WHY? She is considering calling off the whole wedding.

He inbox will be full of hurt and mystified messages from other people. Your email will hardly register with you.

And of course she is trying to get her hall decorated. That must be taking up a bit of time . . .

Save the email exchange though so that when she contacts you all bright and breezy after the event because "Tidy MUST want to see all 540 photos" you can remind her. The penny will probably drop then.