TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 2

[TidyDancer]

New thread. :)

Actually, I don't agree that Gluezilla has to be made to understand or that Tidy has to make anything clear. Obviously, her doing so is entertaining for us, but sometimes the less said the better. If Tidy and Gluezilla have mutual friends, or bump into each other regularly, the less drama the better. I think refusing to decorate the venue is message enough, really. Let's face it, Gluezilla is not going to be honest about relaying Tidy's response to others anyway.

OP - here's my suggestion - if she's a good friend then decline politely saying that you're busy and that you are hurt at not being invited. You could also mention that you think it's cheeky to ask you to help out at a do you're not invited to. In a few months, if she is a friend, then she'll have enough time away for her wedding to realise that she's been pretty self absorbed and a bit of a twit.
If she's NOT an actual close friend, which I suspect she's not given the way you're encouraging people to mock and insult her here then accept that you weren't invited, that she used STD's the wrong way( but in the bigger scheme of things so what?), decline and move on.

You could say nothing. Just let it go. What more is there to say? She doesn't get it.

Alternatively:

wedding invitation: you're a second class friend
being the bride's skivvy: you're a first class friend

In other words, The Little Red Hen through the looking glass.

Backpaw that extract from Debretts was interesting. And the last line 'invitation to follow' certainly goes along with what I, and it seems the rest of this thread, understand to be the purpose of a save the date card! However, don't you think the bit about 'potential guests' a bit ambiguous?

marking my place!

I was struck by the potential guests until I saw the last line.

I don't think "potential guests" is ambiguous - the invited people have the potential to accept, and arrive on the day (then they are guests); or decline (and not be guests)

Mrs Rachel Lynde and Nauticant have it I think.

It's very clear and very concise and doesn't lower the tone at all.

Ooooh, I missed the first thread but am all caught up now and am

I'd go for an email/text saying simply 'No', personally. She should realise why you're refusing (if she doesn't really know already). If she doesn't, she's stupid as well as a bridezilla.

Can't WAIT for update!

IceNoSlice - I'm reading "potential guests" from the other side i.e. not that the inviting couple have a get out, but more that they don't know whether the invitees will turn into guests until they respond to the invitation.

If I received a STD card and I knew I couldn't make the date, I would respond to that effect at that point, so the inviter knew not to waste an invitation on me later.

In Gluezilla's case, what fascinates me is that she seems to think it is perfectly clear and reasonable why she couldn't invite Tidy ( I thought we'd discussed this), and that is why she thinks Tidy is BU.

Hilarious thread.

Ah here you all are !

Pulls up chair, puts kettle on gets full packet of digestives from cupboard .

Never have I been so excited waiting for an update to a thread.

DH asked me if I wanted to go to the pictures tonight - I said 'Not on your Nellie, I'm not missing this'

.

Either waltermittys wording or dont bother contacting her again

But she didn't discuss it with you did she OP? I was under the impression that you only found out through your other uninvited friend?

Can't believe gluezilla still isn't getting it!

Loving everyone's responses and the song lyrics!!

just marking my place too - dying to see the outcome

Ooh, people are voting for me.

Thank you.

I was tempted last night to say just don't reply any more but I wonder if that leaves you open to her thinking you are sulking because she still hasn't invited you after your last message, which she may have thought was you angling for one in exchange for helping her.

So I do think you have to reply. And I still think McBalls came up with a winner at Wed 24-Jul-13 23:48:27.

I read potential guest as a person who is invited to the wedding but as invitations have not been sent , has not yet replied with their intention of attending .

And marking my place !

I like KoalaFace's responses.

No, I would not like to decorate your venue.
How rude of you to ask me!
It is NOT ok to send a save the date card and then not pass on an invitation, I expect you have upset quite a few people in doing this.....I suppose that's one way to shorten your Christmas card list.
Goodbye

She is incredible. wow.

I love the poetic responses, though!

Now I have read the thread properly, I am adding my vote for SarahandFuck's reply. If I haven't missed any votes, I think that is up to 23 for her response now!!

23 votes! That's more than the coalition got!

Go me!

I wouldn't be over the top, as others have said, you may have mutual friends/not want to be as nasty back as she has been to you. You are in danger of losing the moral high ground.

I would just write:

'I am really disappointed not to be invited to your wedding after I saved the date. I just wouldn't feel right coming along to decorate and then disappearing, so I won't be helping out.'

Tidy.

I know some people don't think you should put you've been hurt by this, but clearly you have so I would be honest. What's to be gained by a formal or nasty email, she was a friend and if she has an ounce of gumption will see that she has hurt you even though she didn't meant to.