TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 2

[TidyDancer]

New thread. :)

I like SarahandFucks response the best, though the others are hilarious.

I've spent hours reading this thread

Marking place

The thing is you already explained to her in your first reply why it was unreasonable and she answered you back with "are you serious" and then went on to ask you again.

You need to SPELL IT OUT as she is obviously either too thick or too cheeky to realise that it is rude to ask a huge favour (decorating) when at the same time massively insulting you (no invite to her wedding). In fact it is not just that, the way she answers you is really disrespectful. I can't believe she says "I thought we had already talked about this" and then goes on to request your free help. She talks to you with so little respect it's unbelieveable.

I do agree you need to write a serious reply, don't get emotive, just make it clear that her behaviour is completely inappropriate, rude and selfish and she has made a fool of herself and lost your friendship and respect by being so rude. And make it clear that since she made it clear you were not invited, you haven't "saved the date" since you have made plans.

This really needs to be linked to the Entitled thread in Classics!

I agree it's best not to be overtly hideous in response, yet I think the woman needs to understand how hurtful and inappropriate she is being/has been.

You need to decline (obviously) as it would be very bad for your self esteem to do that, in the light of not being welcome at the event itself.

You also need to make it clear why you're declining so don't use the response I posted yesterday (no, I'm saving the date) as it doesn't express the reasons.

She's clearly rather obtuse so it's going to take a little coaxing to get the right balance and get your message across.

Perhaps just, I feel hurt that you think I'm not close enough to share your occasion in any other regard than as a helper.

As such I don't feel I want to attend in any capacity. You may think this is sour grapes but honestly, would you not feel hurt at being asked to make it all lovely for the others while not being welcome yourself?

I hope it goes well but please don't expect me there.

stickingattwo
This woman hasn't been a little bit thoughtless, she's been a shocker. The STD card is not so much the issue here, it's treating a longstanding friend like staff.

Send a smug, complacent, patronising note offering to do the work for £500

The OP should make points in her response which reflect her desired outcome. Requesting things that she doesn't actually want is just messing around the other person and is likely to cause either confusion or aggro.

Is anyone else reading 'sending an STD' as the, erm, other meaning of STD?

Marking my place here.
I liked Balloonslayers response. Gluezilla needs telling.
Although part of me wants to decorate her venue with "used pants bunting"

So glad I happened upon this thread again! Please send SarahandFuck's reply- says it all perfectly

I really like Wahla's response on page 3, especially the bit about 'sugared almonds up Bridezilla's sphincter.

If it was me is write something along the lines of,

What part of this don't you understand?

Firstly, save the dates are sent to people you intend to invite. You then didn't invite me but assume I would want to decorate your venue? Clearly you don't value our friendship and are too ignorant to understand how offens

Oh FFS!

How offensive this is.

Bitches be craaaazy!!

OP, you're a star.
Your 'friend' is a loon.
Wait, that's insulting to loons, some of those are quite funny.

Definitely looking forward to Tidy's decision and Gluezilla's response.

Buuuutttt, in the meantime. Tidy, any details about what, exactly, the decorations might have been? I'm very intrigued. Clearly Gluezilla's got some (to her tiny mind, at least) amazing concept going.

[need a life-icon]

Debretts says...

Many couples choose to send out printed save the date cards, prior to the wedding invitation, asking potential guests to keep a particular date free.

While an email or simple message in a Christmas card is a possible alternative, it is likely that people will take more note of a dedicated card arriving by post.

The wording should be kept brief, and just include the basic information about the wedding.

Example given:
'Please Save the Date
for the marriage of
Richard Manners and Caroline Debrett
Saturday 17th July 2010
London
Invitation to follow'

I hope the last line clarifies the situation.

Wow, this has turned into quite the witch hunt

Er, no, not exactly sticking - we'd have to know who this person was, for starters. Laughing at an unnamed, unknown, selfish, self-absorbed idiot who apparently couldn't take a hint if it was covered in glue and stuck to their hands is not really quite the same as a witch hunt.

OP, I'm sure this has been said already, but have you thought about declining but suggesting the services of a very good wedding planner (also does naming ceremonies, apparently)?

Dear bride

Please explain why you think I would give up half my weekend to help you prepare for a celebration of which you have made it perfectly clear you don't want me to be a part?

You sent me a save the date card. I saved it, on the reasonable assumption that you'd invite me, but you didn't (you can invite who you like, but this was really bad form btw), so I've made other plans. So not only am I not available to help you decorate, I don't really want to.

Yours
Tidy

I don't really want to is better expressed as it is unreasonable for you to ask and then, to use a good suggestion above, point out that it puts the recipient in the embarrassing position of having to refuse.

loving this thread.

Oh and voting for SarahAndFuck too.

Good point nauticant

So, last line to read "So I am unavailable to help you decorate, and it is unreasonable of you to ask."

Personally I'd go for basic, but clear.

"As I have already discussed with you, I am not interested in decorating your wedding venue. I am rather frustrated that you continue to request my assistance, despite my response. I am not sure which surprises me more - the fact that you are so unaware that your behaviour in this entire situation is incredibly rude and inconsiderate or that you honestly believe that you are bestowing some type of favour upon me to "include" me in your plans.

I recommend that you contact either a professional and pay them for their services or infringe upon one of your friends, as they may be more willing to lend a hand."

I've just had another thought - which has probably already been mentioned on the first thread, I can't remember - but what on earth were the B&G thinking when they whittled the STD list to the final one and excluding Tidy?

"Umm, right we're not going to invite the TidyDancers. But she's helping me decorate the venue. Oh, never mind - I'm sure she'll still be happy to do it anyway. Actually, she'll have more time to do it because she won't have to rush home and change." (or whatever the timing is)

Just out of curiosity - when is this wedding again?