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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to say no to this request from a friend?

1001 replies

TidyDancer · 21/07/2013 10:16

An old friend is getting married in my home town next month. She has been talking about it non-stop since she got engaged last year and everyone's very happy for her. She sent out save the date cards and all was good.

Invitation time came around, and nothing arrived. I wouldn't normally have asked but since she had sent the save the date, I assumed DP and I were invited.

Turns out nope, we're not, and neither is another of our close friends (also from our hometown). She didn't offer up any explanation for it, other than to confirm that we weren't invited. Fine, her prerogative to invite whoever she likes to her wedding. I was a bit put out, I'll admit, since we'd had the save the date card, but oh well. Our other excluded friend was very upset and had a chat with the bride. During this conversation, friend was informed that the bride sent out the save the date cards knowing she wouldn't invite everyone and seemed to be under the impression that the cards were for the purpose of telling people about the wedding before the guest list had been finished. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that's the case? About 20ish people are also not invited.

Fast forward to now, four weeks to the wedding, and the bride has emailed me. No mention at all of not being invited etc. However, she is now requesting my help with decorating the venue. Apparently most people are coming from out of town so she doesn't have much local help and doesn't think she will be able to find the time to do it herself. She also mentioned wanting to keep the decorations a surprise for the wedding guests so doesn't really want to ask for help from the few locals that are invited.

I'll accept not being invited, like I say it's up to her. We have been friends for a long time and it does hurt that I'm not invited but I'm not going to make a scene over it.

But AIBU to refuse her request for help? Does it look petty? My perspective maybe a bit skewed but I think she's being cheeky.

OP posts:
Mimishimi · 23/07/2013 00:23

Haven't read the whole thread. I'd just reply "No, sorry. Since we found out we are not invited, I discarded the save the date card and we have made other plans that week. Best wishes".

bootsycollins · 23/07/2013 00:38

Geraldine Grin not a fellow artist I'm afraid, I'm off to Google Carrion now.

WhiteBirdBlueSky · 23/07/2013 00:45

Carrion is dead animals.

ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp · 23/07/2013 00:50

I love celiafate s veil up colon response!!

bootsycollins · 23/07/2013 01:37

Yeah I'm feeling it, an avant gard centrepiece display of carrion for the top table and human excrement daubed all over the walls, could even be a hot new entry for the Turner prize Grin

TotallyBursar · 23/07/2013 02:01

Shameless place marking.
I hope this ensconces itself in classics...mostly so I can look up and recycle some of these epic responses!

Tidy, you really are legendary Wine

Strokethefurrywall · 23/07/2013 02:24

Not since the crazy baby shower/planner/sister thread have I enjoyed a read as much as this one...

ExasperatedSigh · 23/07/2013 06:12

GeraldineAubergine you are on fire on this thread Grin

SquinkiesRule · 23/07/2013 06:18

Shameless place marking here.
She is barking mad. I wouldn't be surprised if she dropped out of coming to your wedding last minute.

Notafoodbabyanymore · 23/07/2013 06:23

Can't wait to see what she writes back. I agree with those who are saying not to mention feeling hurt etc. This is about HER rudeness and lack of basic social etiquette.

I'm obviously joking about the drugs, though I can't understand how anyone in their right mind would think this is normal behaviour.

Chippychop · 23/07/2013 06:57

I'd print off this thread and send it to her

pigletmania · 23/07/2013 07:12

Well tidy consider this friendship over, she is no friend

Witt · 23/07/2013 08:05

Have you checked whether any other mutual friends who didn't warrant an invite have been asked to help out on the day too? Maybe serve welcome drinks to her guests for example?

I still can't get over the cheek of sending STD cards, making people alter their plans, then not invite them. She may find she has 19 other guests who assumed the invite got lost in the post and turn up anyway. That would be funny. She wouldn't be able to say she never intended inviting them.

bootsycollins · 23/07/2013 08:07

Come on bridezilla text back Grin

fuzzpig · 23/07/2013 08:33

I expect she is taking a while to reply because she is panicking about belatedly fitting tidy in to the invite list.

Which will be rather good as then you can really enjoy turning it down:o

FruOla · 23/07/2013 08:39

Blimey, there have been some outrageous bridezilla threads recently - but this one certainly takes the Biscuit
Shock Grin

TalkativeJim · 23/07/2013 08:41

Poor GBB (Glue Bitch Bridezilla) - I almost feel sorry for her.

There could almost be a new word for a 'zilla' who goes so far along the road to Zilladom that she becomes certifiably insane - a GLUEZILLA.

bootsycollins · 23/07/2013 08:44

I wonder if she's booked the Zingzillas for the evening reception?

bootsycollins · 23/07/2013 08:45

Thinking on it I bed the Zingzillas crew are on glue.

hugsandbutterflies · 23/07/2013 10:45

This is the best thread ever.

StealthPolarBear · 23/07/2013 10:51

OP this is all your fault, you thought you got a SAVE the date card when in fact you got a SLAVE the date card. Clear case of misunderstanding :)

ProphetOfDoom · 23/07/2013 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 23/07/2013 10:55

I told DH about this thread. His face was Shock at the bridezilla.

fryingpantoface · 23/07/2013 11:02

^^ spb just snorted then

BatwingsAndButterflies · 23/07/2013 11:10

Love pictish's reply, use that! :o

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