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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be so angry and upset by this?

178 replies

babyperks · 10/07/2013 23:21

One of my college friends was talking about booking her wedding for either next August/September. I was really happy and excited for her, and looking forward to her big day.

Then tonight I find out she's booked it for the same date as mine and OH's anniversary, when she knows full well that it's our day.

I am so angry and upset about it, but don't know if I'm overreacting?

So, AIBU?

OP posts:

HaroldLloyd · 10/07/2013 23:29

To put it in context this is quite honestly the biggest overreaction I have seen ever since the dawn of time.

irregularegular · 10/07/2013 23:30

Seriously??? I can't even conceive of being even remotely bothered by someone else choosing to get married on our wedding anniversary. Sorry, just doesn't compute at all.

NoComet · 10/07/2013 23:31

Loopy, I 'share' my wedding aniversery with my DDad's birthday. Just happened to be a convenient weekend.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 10/07/2013 23:32

My parents and my sister share the same wedding anniversary. My mum was touched when dsis and dbil chose the same date as her and dad's wedding anniversary.

Perhaps you could look at it as a compliment - plus it will make it very easy for you to remember her anniversary, and vice versa.

ceeveebee · 10/07/2013 23:33

I am in exactly same situation this year, a friend is getting married on our 7th anniversary - I'm looking forward to a good night out tbh. You are being totally unreasonable!

Kormachameleon · 10/07/2013 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

musicposy · 10/07/2013 23:35

I couldn't tell you the wedding anniversary dates of any of my friends and I'm talking here about people I'm very close to,, have known virtually my whole life, and was bridesmaid at some of the weddings and present at all.
It will be memorable to you but I doubt your friend even realises. Even if she does, it's only one year. Anniversaries are celebrated as a couple, not with friends. I'm assuming you're planning on having lots more years of them, in which case one won't matter! Try to get it in perspective.

COCKadoodledooo · 10/07/2013 23:36

YAB seriously strange! It isn't your day. You don't own it. Get over yourself.

K8Middleton · 10/07/2013 23:37

Lol.

If this is for real: I doubt she has even realised this is your Special Day

trixymalixy · 10/07/2013 23:38

Seriously? FGS get a grip!

TheFallenMadonna · 10/07/2013 23:39

I think I would quite enjoy spending my anniversary at the wedding of a close friend actually. But then, I like other people's weddings conseiderably more than your average MNetter...

Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 10/07/2013 23:40

Is this actually your wedding anniversary, or your anniversary of being a couple? Your use of 'OH' suggests you aren't married, though I could be wrong.

Either way, you are over-reacting, but if you're not married, it is a whole new level of OTT if you are objecting to someone else getting married on the day that you and your partner started going out but that is not actually your wedding anniversary!

On a practical level, this will only affect you in any way at all for one year, when you are invited to their wedding. I have had this, though the person in that instance didn't know it was our anniversary too. DH and I had a ball at their wedding and celebrated our own day too! It's perfectly doable and will not make any impact in the following years at all.

ShadowStorm · 10/07/2013 23:42

You're overreacting. It's extremely unlikely that she's deliberatly decided to get married on your anniversary just to annoy you.

Chances are she's forgotten the exact date of your anniversary. She'll have been thinking about what dates are available at their favourite venue, what dates work best for her, her DP & their family and so on instead of trying to remember which date you got married on. You minding a clash with your wedding anniversary probably didn't even occur to her.

superram · 10/07/2013 23:44

I got married on my parents anniversary-they couldn't have been less bothered.

LogonMounstuart · 10/07/2013 23:46

Look on the bright side you will likely get a meal out on your anniversary for free!

I do think you are over reacting but then we don't do much more than a card and silly gift for our anniversary so certainly doesn't take all day, sounds like anniversaries are a bigger thing for you.

LayMeDown · 10/07/2013 23:49

Has to be a reverse AIBU surely?

I seriously don't know any of my friends wedding anniversaries, and I was at all of them. In fact I don't know my sisters' either and I was bridesmaid at them. Although I do know one sister got married on my parents wedding anniversary. Luckily my parents aren't mental enough to think they can hold a date for 40 odd years and they are all still on speaking terms.

Get over yourself love. Your anniversary only matters to you. If you want to keep it as a special day for yourself and DH then do but don't expect other people to build their lives around it. She could be inviting over 150 people, is she meant to check her wedding doesn't clash with any of their anniversaries/ birthdays or is to just you that deserves this consideration?

Piffyonarockbun · 10/07/2013 23:49

Is September 17th the date? Shrugged, either you know more about the situation then we do or you should be buying a lottery ticket!!!

waltermittymissus · 10/07/2013 23:50

You MUST be joking!

StupidFlanders · 10/07/2013 23:56

Another who thinks this is ridiculous- I have 3 couple friends sharing the same wedding anniversary (who are all friends) and I'm the week before- there are only a few Saturdays (or whatever) in a month you know!!!

icetip · 10/07/2013 23:56

Tomorrow's my day I tells ya. Don't any of you fuckers so much as breathe......

ShellyBoobs · 10/07/2013 23:59

I am so angry and upset about it, but don't know if I'm overreacting?

I can help you with that.

You're massively, ridiculously, unbelievably seriously overreacting.

Does that help?

idococktailshedoesbeer · 11/07/2013 00:02

You can't own a day...

ShellyBoobs · 11/07/2013 00:03

Has to be a reverse AIBU surely?

Oh FFS, I'm going to go bat-shit-crazy if it is!

(Yes, I know I'd be the one overreacting in that case )

TheFantasticFixit · 11/07/2013 00:05

100% YABU. It's an important day for you - no one else. God knows I can barely remember the dates of family anniversaries, let alone friends. Get a grip

Hopasholic · 11/07/2013 00:06

Tell her the only way you can possibly come is if you can renew your vows at their service and invite your friends and family.

You could also sabotage the wedding photos with a banner saying 'IT WAS OUR DAY FIRST '

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