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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so angry and upset by this?

178 replies

babyperks · 10/07/2013 23:21

One of my college friends was talking about booking her wedding for either next August/September. I was really happy and excited for her, and looking forward to her big day.

Then tonight I find out she's booked it for the same date as mine and OH's anniversary, when she knows full well that it's our day. Angry

I am so angry and upset about it, but don't know if I'm overreacting?

So, AIBU?

OP posts:
BadLad · 11/07/2013 03:18

Do they still say something like "If anyone present knows of any reson why this couple should not be married, they should declare it now"?

If they do, then that's your cue. Jump to your feet and shout "It's MY day".

Whowouldfardelsbear · 11/07/2013 05:45

Daemon - my sister also had the gall to give birth on my birthday. It took me six years but I managed to give birth on HER birthday (that'll teach her).

Some people!

OP - you are beyond unreasonable.

LoopyLooplaHoop · 11/07/2013 05:49

Come on now

formicadinosaur · 11/07/2013 08:08

Grow up. Total over reaction on your side.

beginnings · 11/07/2013 08:13

My poor parents had to deal with the fact that my brother had the audacity to be born on their wedding anniversary! Can you imagine??

Utterly overreacting.

And by the way, you don't have the right to be upset about this. You have the right to be upset about all sorts of things in life, but not this. And if you are, you certainly don't have the right to express it. Because it's nonsensical.

Forgetfulmog · 11/07/2013 08:14

I'm having my dds first birthday party on the 1st anniversary of my friends wedding that I didn't even attend as dd arrived 1 month early & was in SCBU on the day

AIBU?

ThreeMusketeers · 11/07/2013 08:22

Op - mad.

[awaits deletion] Hmm

MrsMelons · 11/07/2013 08:22

We got married on DHs best mans anniversary, he was getting divorced by then too but he really couldn't care less, it was just a date.

My friend did have her baby on our 3rd wedding anniversary - I think I may have words - how rude of her - its OUR day!!!!!!!

MadeOfStarDust · 11/07/2013 08:29

My friend ended up being v upset that she had married on our anniversary - means I am not available for babysitting for their anniversary.... Hmm

wigglesrock · 11/07/2013 08:29

Is this not a joke? Because I really don't think I've read anything as what the sweet fuck? in a long time.

In fact I'm speechless.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 11/07/2013 08:39

I am not saying this to be cruel, but nobody except you and your husband cares about your anniversary.

that isn't said to be a bitch, I promise, but hopefully to help you to get a bit of perspective.

you had your wedding. that was 'your day'. That was the one day in relation to your marriage that other people's focus was on you. You don't get another one (well, maybe your golden wedding anniversary and the like Grin ) and that day is not reserved for ever more within your friendship circle.

Every year after your wedding, it's a day for you and your husband alone.

Many, many people married before you on that date, many married on that date that year and many more will have and will marry from that year onwards on that date.

None of that takes anything away from the specialness of your anniversary for the only two people who actually care year after year about what happened for them on that date umpteen years ago.

wordfactory · 11/07/2013 08:41

OP - you not only being unreasonable, you are being utterly ridiculous!

mynameisslimshady · 11/07/2013 08:46

I never remember anniversaries (not even my own) even if I have been to the wedding.

When I did get married finding out it was on a friends anniversary wouldn't have prevented me choosing the date, no-one apart from the couple really care about anniversaries, and really, if you are taking the attitude you aren't going to 'tread on anyones toes' you would need to ask for every guests anniversaries and list of family birthdays. Its impossible to have a day you don't share with someone else.

In the nicest possible way, you need to get over it. This is your friends special day.

SilverOldie · 11/07/2013 09:16

Thanks for the laugh OP oh and here's a Biscuit.

My sister had the audacity to give birth to one of her children on MY birthday! (actually I was rather pleased Smile).

miffybun73 · 11/07/2013 09:26

Of course YABU.

I assume that this is a joke Confused

MalcolmTuckersMum · 11/07/2013 09:33

Out of my zillion married friends and rellies I only know two anniversaries - Parents and mine. I always always forget mine.
You are being so U that there are not the words to describe it.

TheRealFellatio · 11/07/2013 09:36

YABU and daft. It's still your day. It's also thousands of other couples' day as well. It's incrediblt precious of you to assume that she should remember/care about your anniversary and prioritise your slightly daft feelings over her own needs.

Skintorama · 11/07/2013 09:38

I think you shoudl totes go to her wedding wearing your wedding dress and a veil.

That'll teach her for stealing.

theoriginalandbestrookie · 11/07/2013 09:41

On the bright side, you will always remember to send them an anniversary card.

The only people whose wedding date I know are my parents, despite the fact I have attended and been bridesmaid on other occasions. I have enough trouble remembering birthdays to start adding on other events.

Seriously don't you remember trying to pick a wedding date. There are a whole set of variables - availability of venue, making sure close relatives/best man aren't on holiday and availability of church/registry office. You're a bit of a special snowflake if you think that the bride to be has to also take into account everyone elses wedding days.

Fenton · 11/07/2013 09:44

I think the OP has got the message she's being a bit daft about it now.

Don't sweat it OP, there's no need to be angry about it. If you go to the wedding you'll be going on your anniversary - what better way to enjoy reliving your day than to be celebrating another lovely wedding - can't you see it that way instead? Smile

I waited ten bloody years for my wedding day, and a good friend of mine very quickly met and married a week before my long awaited day - and the absolute CAAHHH didn't invite me either Hmm

Grin
YouTheCat · 11/07/2013 09:47

I have a friend whose birthday is 25th December. She is very angry at Jesus. Grin

Honsandrevels · 11/07/2013 09:49

Our friends got married on our anniversary, had a child free wedding, asked for no gifts or cash AND had the ceremony in the middle of nowhere so had to get taxis, hotel etc.

We had a lovely time Grin.

OrangeJuiceSandwich · 11/07/2013 09:50

I literally couldn't tell you a single one of my friends anniversaries, even the ones who's weddings I went to! I could tell you roughly the month or maybe down to a few days, but that is it.

It's just so odd to be bothered.

limitedperiodonly · 11/07/2013 09:53

I got married in September 1992. When exactly is your anniversary and why didn't you check with me first?

limitedperiodonly · 11/07/2013 09:55

And Princess Diana's funeral was held on my friend's wedding day. Put a dampener on the whole thing.

Selfish of her, dying like that.

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