about my Boyfriends birthday & his mum

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

First AIBU but I really need to know if I am .

Its my Bfs birthday on Tuesday , he has just told me he is going for a meal with his mum & family Tuesday evening so will be busy from 4 - 8 .
I have not been invited despite us been together for 3 years (we don't live together) .
He is working Tuesday morning until 1pm & i have appointments Tuesday from 1-4 (several appointments) .
He says it is not fair that i can't see him on his birthday & expects me to palm my Ds off on my Dm on a school night so i can take him out I have told him i won't do this as Ds comes first & i told him to ask his mum to make it later or for the day after & he can't as she will be upset (huge case of pfb) .
I thought i was his family but apparently not as he does everything his mum says even if it means cancelling our plans

Am I been unreasonable to think that after 3 years he would see me as his family as well as his mum & sometimes put our relationship first or should I just suck it up

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

Queen It just never felt right for him to move in with me & my Ds iyswim

[Jux]

That shows that your instincts are spot on. Trust yourself.

Another hooray!!!! For being so decisive. Find a good man, they do exist.

for you. Well done.

[shewhowines]

Is it only me or is dumping him by text rather immature? Surely you need to tell him in a serious conversation. Blocking his responses is awful, no matter how much he needed dumping.

[pigletmania]

I personally would have telephoned him up,or face to face so I could tell him just how I felt and water for the response

[WorraLiberty]

Fucking hell you've been with him for 3 years and you sent him a text telling him it's over?

Sorry but that's beyond crass

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

It was either via txt or not at all as I would of backed out of ending it .
Also blocking his number , he still has my email address & knows where I live , it just means he won't be txting/calling every two mins trying to guilt me in to getting back with him .
Maybe it does make me a heartless cow but its the only way I could do it

[pigletmania]

Well it's good you dumped him crazy, but I would have liked to give him what for

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

I'm not good at confrontation, have also sent an email to him

Yes im a bitch .

[Numberlock]

If he doesn't have the respect to invite you to his birthday meal after 3 years, I wouldn't be worried too much about showing him much courtesy. Do what's right for you.

[Damash12]

" Still have cuddles on the sofa" Whhhaaattt?? After 3 years you should be coming first Hun... Weird!!

[pigletmania]

At the end of te day he's not your problem anymore, your free to find a real man, not a toddler

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

Thanks everybody

[Jux]

No. You're not a bitch.

[pigletmania]

So how it going, have you heard from him.

[sweetestcup]

Dumping someone by text is awful, can you imagine the responses here if a man had done that to a woman. Too much focus on his Mum to and not enough on him, the real problem, and why he didn't want you at the meal.

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

He is coming round to talk tomorrow

[OTheHugeManatee]

Noooooooo! Meet him in a cafe if you must, but don't let him in. If you're as nervous of confrontation as you say you are you're bound to crack, PLUS you can't get rid of him or flee if it's your own house.

Meet this loser in a cafe, where he can't make a scene and you can leave if you have to, and stick to your guns.

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

Good point othe I didnt think of that , I will meet him somewhere instead

[pigletmania]

I would meet him somewhere public. And don't take this child back, you need a real man. Don't let him manipulate you, mummy can kiss it better not you. Stand your ground

[pigletmania]

He did not want you at the meal, any man worth his salf would have insisted you come. He is disrespecting you and does not appear to care for you. The problem is also that's he's still attached by the umbilical cord to his mum and that is a major fault because heputs his mum before you.

[TNETENNBA]

I hope you are feeling ok OP. it does sound like you ave. done the right thing. I agree with all the other posters that say it is not the Mum who is wasa the problem it was your EX.

I find the comments about the cuddles odd though. I 'cuddle' my Mum and my Dad and I am ancient. I never considered it creepy. .

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

TNET Its the way he has Cuddles that is creepy

[Xales]

Why is he coming round to talk? If it is over and you are sure if this what is there to talk about? Nothing?

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

I owe it to him to say why its over , at least I thought I did

[Xales]

Are you going to be honest or are are you going to come out with some wishy washy stuff?

Not sure you can tell him nicely why you are ending it but he is doomed to rinse and repeat if you don't.

If you are no good at these things face to face is he going to talk you around? Don't expect changes even if he says he will if you stay together.