about my Boyfriends birthday & his mum

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

First AIBU but I really need to know if I am .

Its my Bfs birthday on Tuesday , he has just told me he is going for a meal with his mum & family Tuesday evening so will be busy from 4 - 8 .
I have not been invited despite us been together for 3 years (we don't live together) .
He is working Tuesday morning until 1pm & i have appointments Tuesday from 1-4 (several appointments) .
He says it is not fair that i can't see him on his birthday & expects me to palm my Ds off on my Dm on a school night so i can take him out I have told him i won't do this as Ds comes first & i told him to ask his mum to make it later or for the day after & he can't as she will be upset (huge case of pfb) .
I thought i was his family but apparently not as he does everything his mum says even if it means cancelling our plans

Am I been unreasonable to think that after 3 years he would see me as his family as well as his mum & sometimes put our relationship first or should I just suck it up

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

He lays on her lap?

He's 30?

Run like the wind.

Mummy dearest would be coming on your honeymoon and sleeping in your bed

[JerseySpud]

You're not dating my cousin are you?

[JerseySpud]

Because it sounds just like him. I think hes about 35 though

[pigletmania]

Omg op that's not normal, ditch the toddler and get yourself a maaaaan

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

[SingingSilver]

LTB! If you ever do manage to supplant his mother in his affections, he'd expect you to take over the mummy role. Just leave him to have his special cuddles, you'll find a grown-up to hang out with soon enough.

[raisah]

I would turn up at the restaurant with a gift and a smile and from the reception I get I would decide whether the relationship was worth continuing or not.

After three years together, you should be a part of his life not stuck in the p/t gf compartment. He is putting himself first (men are good at this) so you should copy him and prioritise your son & yourself. Leave him & get a better model or not but do dump him!

[LookingForwardToMarch]

You don't 'try' to leave someone op

It is very easy.

Put up or shut up

[LookingForwardToMarch]

Ewww just read the 'he lays on her lap' bit.

Run OP, Run like the wind!

[LookingForwardToMarch]

Actually...

You know that psycho film, the one with the shower scene.

Remember how that guy kept that dessicated corpse of his mum in an armchair and talked to it?

That'll be your livingroom in 40 years time!

[Squitten]

30?!?!

OP, just phone him right now and tell him you're done with him.

Honestly, do you really think he's going to top himself? No, me neither. And if he is really that juvenile that he's going to try and kill himself because his GF has dumped him, then his devoted Mummy can deal with the fallout.

You are in such a wonderful position in that you are not tied to him in any way beyond your own head. Run like the wind while you can and look forward to meeting an actual adult man who you can make a life with.

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

Lookingfor

I have txt saying its over

[Squitten]

Marvellous!!!

Don't take any phone calls from him or get drawn into text conversations.

It's now officially over and you owe him NOTHING

[LookingForwardToMarch]

You CAN definitely do better op

Thats brilliant, now I can sleep at night knowing you are not being dragged into a horror movie!!!

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

Horror Movie I can actually picture that

I have blocked his number

[pigletmania]

Wow tats fantastic crazy, good on you, now he can enjoy his lovely mummy all too himself. Keep us updated

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

Now he can enjoy his lovely mummy all to himself

[SlimePrincess]

On her lap! That is banaynay. Does he still have bitty as well? But srsly well done for dumping him, you can do better

[pigletmania]

Why oh why is she even encouraging this behaviour and not trying to make her toddler ds independent and self reliant. Forthat she as failed as a mother.

[pigletmania]

She s just indulging him, and the dynamics of that relationship are weird

[HappyMummyOfOne]

She sounds way OTT re her son given his age, he seems to see you as a casual item but you both sound very young despite the 30th birthday. Him for not inviting people to an adult celebration and you for the responsible parent who wont club mid week.

Given you have a son, you need to find a stable partner worth introducing.

[WhatWouldBeyonceDo]

Yay! Good for you!

Now go find a nice man you can climb like a tree

[crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo]

What that sounds fun

[LookingForwardToMarch]

Yeah definitely keep in mind,

Less Norman Bates...more Christian Grey

[QueenStromba]

You've made the right decision. I'm guessing the not living together was down to him? Not living with someone after three years of being together unless there is a very good reason is just very strange in my opinion.