AIBU to expect school to change DD class so she can be with friends?

[oreocookiez]

DD due to go up to senior school in September, she has been in the same friendship group with 3 other girls since infant school...senior school have put the other 3 in one class and my DD in another. She is really upset and so are her friends.
DD has had a very emotional year, problems with ex husband emotionally abusing her, his GF was nothing but a complete bitch to her, in the end she stopped visiting him. It destroyed her confidence and she was a very quiet little girl for a while. This last term she has really perked up and has been getting back some of her confidence.
Letter from senior school arrived last Thursday with the class allocations in and she has been an emotional mess since, some of it hormones I expect but some of it rejection and knowing she will be the only one of her 4 friends in another class.
Phoned senior school and spoke to head of year 7, he was nice and said he understood and would see what he could do. He phoned back and said after discussing it with the deputy head he was not able to move her to the other class.
Rang and spoke to her (she was such an old bag), refused to listen to my point of view told me to make a complaint if I wasnt happy with her answer, Said it would do DD good to make more friends and that I was being over the top. Was flippant and rude, talked over me several times (I wanted to throttle her), she refused to move her point blank.
Transition day tomorrow DD not wanting to go in as she is so upset, back to hiding under her bed feeling sad and rejected...... Do I take her in or keep her at home.....????
Phoned Ed Authority who advised me to make a formal complaint in writing to the head teacher and then if that didnt work to make a complaint to the governers of the school.
I feel so angry they wouldnt listen am at a loss what to do tomorow....

Oreocookiez - your dd will always remember that you stood up for her and fought for her.

Well done oreocookiez. Your DD will be proud of you and rightly so.

Now you can both relax and start to look forward to September!

Thanks guys you have made me cry with your kind words. My children are so very special to me I had to do it.dd and Her friends are off on a brownie camping trip Saturday and all so exited x

Well done! You did indeed move a mountain.

So glad your daughter is happy. Hope she no longer feels 'all bad things' happen to her. Given all the troubles with your ex, one can understand her fragility.

Wishing her a fab time in secondary. While sadly, some posters were nasty - many more of us who've never met either of you, were rooting for you and will be wishing her well come September!

Fabulous news Oreo, and what a fabulous mum your dd has!

and are definitely deserved, even if they are just virtual ones.

Xylem, it is very very bad form copying and pasting private messages, not to mention the height of bad manners.
There was nothing 'nasty' in that pm either, so not sure what you're trying to prove by reproducing it??

Brilliant news :-)
So glad it's all sorted!!!

Xylem, it's a private message.
It has no place on here.
I believe she called you a 'nasty person' because you said you understood why a parent wouldn't want their child to prop up an emotionally 'damaged' child, which was an unfortunate and rather unpleasant turn of phrase. Perhaps you didn't mean to sound nasty, who knows? Either way, the right formnif action is to message the op back, not paste her private message on this forum.

and op, I did almost exactly the same thing as you, under different circumstances. Sick of this 'character building' bollocks. These are children, not adults. I don't want my children battling through life, learning through hard knocks and isolation that 'you're on your own, mate'
Jeez, you have more rights at work. If you were miserable and isolated there, HR can help, or you can look for a new job. Children have the right to be happy and go to school confident and safe.

usuallyright you don't think children should be encourage to learn how to make new friends.Or at least give things a try.
2/3 of my older DC started secondary not knowing a soul in their class and guess what they faced up to the situation and eventually made new friends which is what emotionally healthy children do!!
They didn't spend the whole induction day crying, and come home and hide under their beds!!
Is the OPs DD going to expect to be starting university and work with her infant school friends too?

Xylem8, she also private messaged me, I think because I said my DS had started with no friends(a school where no one else went onto) and he has made loads now. I also said that sometimes it was for the best and I found to my cost that those friends from primary often end your own worst enemy.

Really pleased with what is definitely the right outcome for the OP's DD in her particular circumstances.

Although it is not the done thing to copy and paste private messages on here I was sad to see the OP has been sending unpleasant PMs to other posters. AIBU always gets a variety of opinions and people should be able to post their views without receiving PMs like that. If the OP or anyone else thought their comments were out of order they could have reported them or commented on the forum not sent those sorts of PMs. I actually think apologies are due all round.

Hello

Thanks for the reports about this thread.

We're going to be dropping some mails to the posters concerned, but we just wanted to make it clear that:

a) it's not on to use the PM function to personally attack other posters;
b) we also don't think it's on to C+P PMs onto threads in order to attack the sender or inflame what is already a heated situation. We'd much rather than you use the 'Report PM' button and allow us to look into it; and
c) if PMs contain personal attacks, we need to delete them from Talk threads in the same way we'd delete any other personal attack (or restatement of a personal attack).

Hope that clears things up a bit.

Thanks

Thank you for your support :-)

Gosh just read this in horror ?and then felt so relieved that my dcs high school are so much more sensitive! My Ds is going until year 11 he's in a certain house in school has been since year 7. Day before transition head of year 7 phoned me in work asking Did I want dd to be in same house? Because if they Did that she'd be only girl from her primary in that form! Now DS was only one when he started but knowing him it didn't matter. DD is a totally different type of person and I knew she'd go backwards without her peer support. So after 2 minute conversation she's in class with 1 good friend, and 2 other friends from primary school, different house to DS but so what! No stress no tears no anxiety ?that's how it should be.

At my secondary school, we were in our forms for all lessons except Maths, English and Science which were set so its not just a case of "See you at break".

Brilliant news! I'm sure it's the right decision.
Hope she can now look forward to next year and she is able to move on from this year. I'm sure it will give her confidence to know that you and her friends' parents fought for her at this time.

Thank you DeWe x