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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to strangle DD (16). She insisted she did not want to go to her school Prom until today - the day of the prom!

663 replies

Lionessy · 27/06/2013 14:09

As her circle of friends had decided they did not want to go, she decided she did not want to either. Was not cool apparently Hmm and they did not have a dates (probably because all the boys are scared of them!).

I went ahead a bought her ticket anyway as I hoped she would come to her senses. What teenage girl would'nt want to dress up in a beautiful dress, glam up and go out to a country mansion for a posh dinner and disco with all their school friends huh?

This morning, after leavers assembly at 10.15am, she finally caves in and wants to go Angry. Cue me rushing around all morning like a blue arsed fly getting a spray tan organised, nails, buying the ruddy dress (luckily we hit the jackpot and found a gorgeous one), underwear, jewellery etc.

I am now knackered and want to go back to bed. Luckily DH has the day off (told him to book it off in case she changed her mind) so he can drive her to the venue an hour away. Everyone else of course, is going in a limo. DD will have to arrive in our old jalopy as she told the girls booking transport she was not going! She has just had a tantrum as to why we can't find her a limo at a few hours notice Hmm.

AIBU to want to strangle her?

One of her friends, who also was not going, has also now decided to go so her mum has had to get onto to the school as she was in tears about it, begging them to get her a ticket! Another friend (the ring leader, who decided not to go) was also upset about not when we just bumped into her in town as she now sees that she's made a mistake.

OP posts:
mrsjay · 27/06/2013 15:24

hey're probably written by Mums of preschoolers.
They've got it all to come!

no not really maybe from people who do not want their children to learn that tantrums at 16 work do YOU all your teenager to treat you like a skivvy

2rebecca · 27/06/2013 15:25

I'd have bought the ticket, but would have left her to go and buy her own outfit and do her own nails. I think spray tans look awful so she'd have been paying for and organising that. I work though and can't just take a day off with no notice. If she makes a last minute decision then she has to deal with the last minute hassle not me.

HandMini · 27/06/2013 15:26

Of course spray tan is unnecessary. So are pretty clothes, make up, a new pair of shoes, a chocolate biscuit, where do you draw the line?

But why shouldn't the OP's DD have it for a special occasion, or even every day if she wants?

It's just fucking snobbery and sneeriness to make a ToWIE jibe.

Spray tan makes you entitled?? I think you're reading WAY too much into this - it's a one off special occasion.

Dominodonkey · 27/06/2013 15:26

thebody ok - don't want to really upset anybody. Not sure what to click though.

TroublesomeEx · 27/06/2013 15:27

I'm the mum of a teen. Not a preschooler.

I happen to agree with Donkey.

garlicnutty · 27/06/2013 15:27

Oh, there are some iron-lipped posters about these days, aren't there?

You are very kind, OP, and DD's lucky to have two such considerate parents!

Just wanted to warn you - you know she'll have to pretend it was really dull/childish/uncool, don't you? But ignore any of that - you've helped to create a lifelong memory for her :)

toosoft · 27/06/2013 15:28

Teenagers. Bless!

Lavenderloves · 27/06/2013 15:28

Everyone looks better with a tan!

cerealqueen · 27/06/2013 15:29

you've helped to create a lifelong memory for her Great comment!

TroublesomeEx · 27/06/2013 15:30

Not everyone Lavender!

Dominodonkey · 27/06/2013 15:30

thebody I have asked mumsnet to delete the post.

mrsjay · 27/06/2013 15:30

FWIW Op if it was 1 of mine then i would probably make sure she could go to her prom in this situation I just couldnt be arsed with an almost grown woman stomping her feet I would expect a 16 yr old to get a grip and be able to see reason that limos do not come out of your backside,

EliotNess · 27/06/2013 15:31

agree - people are really harsh on this post - its a busy and exciting time in Year 11 ADDED to the extra issues about identity and groups.

I think its lovely you did this and also that you wont let her forget it!

Lavenderloves · 27/06/2013 15:31

*almost everyone looks better with a tan.

Feminine · 27/06/2013 15:32

lavender I'm a bit Confused now .

Not everyone looks better with a tan!

I'd go on...but I think I'd start to look a bit petty!

Feminine · 27/06/2013 15:33

I don't look better.

all fair skinned people look fine that way! Grin

Lavenderloves · 27/06/2013 15:33

They may not look better orange but you can have a light tan.

HandMini · 27/06/2013 15:34

PS our school prom was held in our school hall! The refreshments were biscuits and sparkling elderflower wine (all home made) with about 2% alcohol. WILD TIMES! I wore an awful black dress from River Island that I saved up from my Saturday waitressing job. I did not have a spray tan. I wore some awful orange lipstick. I loved it all.

EliotNess · 27/06/2013 15:34

i love the whole prom thing. For people who know how hard kids work these days and the continual pressure of assessment, its a lovely event.

The tan/limo crap is you lot falling for the Daily mail hyperbole

WarmAndSunny · 27/06/2013 15:35

I think this is akin to saying you won't do x,y or z before having a baby. Then you have a baby and x, y and z DO happen and you realises your silliness about thinking you know better before you were even a parent.

I have young kids, not teenagers and I would like to think I won't do x, y and z, but have learnt that I probably will and don't judge parents of teenagers for choices they may.

So on that basis, yanbu OP. I have bent over backwards on occasions to help my kids out even now. Not all the time, they need to learn. But I think you are doing the right thing and she will love it.

Mrsrobertduvall · 27/06/2013 15:35

It's dd's prom today and she has been in floods of tears because her period has started.
Poor thing...last thing she needs.

Gunznroses · 27/06/2013 15:35

I havent read the whole thread but.....I am shocked at the preparation involved, spray tan, underwear etc why does she need these things for her school prom ? what's wrong with her existing underwear ? why does she need a spray tan and nails ? is this normal for girls these days ?

EliotNess · 27/06/2013 15:36

yes IT IS THE LAW

no it is called fashion - the same way people had beehives in the 60s and terrible perms in the 80s.
it doesn't HURT Small animals or children.

MatersMate · 27/06/2013 15:36

I think most of what you did is just bloody lovely :)

Your dh taking the day off just in case seems a bit mad, but you were right, so.....

If be spitting feathers of she then started her foot about the limo though Angry

mrsjay · 27/06/2013 15:37

I am not sure why some are so het up about a bit of fake tan on a 16yr old Confused the tan and glam isnt the point girls who are going to go to their prom will glam up for it, It is the Divaish behaviour that would do my head in

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