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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to strangle DD (16). She insisted she did not want to go to her school Prom until today - the day of the prom!

663 replies

Lionessy · 27/06/2013 14:09

As her circle of friends had decided they did not want to go, she decided she did not want to either. Was not cool apparently Hmm and they did not have a dates (probably because all the boys are scared of them!).

I went ahead a bought her ticket anyway as I hoped she would come to her senses. What teenage girl would'nt want to dress up in a beautiful dress, glam up and go out to a country mansion for a posh dinner and disco with all their school friends huh?

This morning, after leavers assembly at 10.15am, she finally caves in and wants to go Angry. Cue me rushing around all morning like a blue arsed fly getting a spray tan organised, nails, buying the ruddy dress (luckily we hit the jackpot and found a gorgeous one), underwear, jewellery etc.

I am now knackered and want to go back to bed. Luckily DH has the day off (told him to book it off in case she changed her mind) so he can drive her to the venue an hour away. Everyone else of course, is going in a limo. DD will have to arrive in our old jalopy as she told the girls booking transport she was not going! She has just had a tantrum as to why we can't find her a limo at a few hours notice Hmm.

AIBU to want to strangle her?

One of her friends, who also was not going, has also now decided to go so her mum has had to get onto to the school as she was in tears about it, begging them to get her a ticket! Another friend (the ring leader, who decided not to go) was also upset about not when we just bumped into her in town as she now sees that she's made a mistake.

OP posts:
beachyhead · 27/06/2013 15:37

I completely understand and would have done the same thing.... whether I will do it by the time I get to the third child remains to be seen!

Timetoask · 27/06/2013 15:37

oh, sooo glad I have boys.

mrsjay · 27/06/2013 15:38

f be spitting feathers of she then started her foot about the limo though

that is al I would be annoyed at

EliotNess · 27/06/2013 15:38

oh ho timetotask
My s1 is off to a prom tomorrow with his girlfriend - HER school prom
I spent last Saturday trying suits on with him
he looks AWESOME

Ashoething · 27/06/2013 15:39

Am a bitHmm at those saying that a prom is a big life event. I was absolutely smashed at mine and barely remember it! So certainly NOT a life event in the grand scheme of things.

It all smacks of the parents trying to relive their school days to me.

mrsjay · 27/06/2013 15:42

well I didnt have a school prom so i didnt relive anything through my child I know My dd was excited about hers they have it in 6th year in scotland so a lot of them are 18 anyway so it was like a grown up night out doodah, I think it can be a big deal for a kid leaving school

helenthemadex · 27/06/2013 15:42

strangle away Grin and try not to cry when you see how lovely she look

you sound like a lovely mum, your daughter will have lovely memories and will hopefully have a really good relationship with you when she is older and appreciate stuff you have done

Have a well deserved bottle of wine

Kizzit · 27/06/2013 15:42

I must be a hard nosed Mum then,as there is NO WAY I would have done that. How to create a spoiled little madam? I have a SIL who was treated like this and she still uses and abuses her parents like they should be at her disposal 24/7. Really not a nice trite to develop. Just sounds insane to me to allow her this kind of indulgence ...... And before you ask,my DD had her prom very,very recently so I do know about the pressures of year 11 and being a 16 year old. I would have had a proper chat about it with her beforehand though and made it very clear that,once she'd made that decision not to go,there would be no going back unless there was still plenty of time to organise it. Most certainly not on the day......

Ashoething · 27/06/2013 15:42

Should also add that mine wasn't the whole American shebang either. Was a meal,a celidh and a disco in a hotel. I paid for my own ticket and outfit and my mum paid for me to get my hair done and bought me a bottle of southern comfortHmm

There were NO limos,ball dresses,spray tans,fake nails etc-thank god. I am sure I will have all this to come with dd but will have to stick to my parenting guns as I don't want any daughter of mine looking like a lapdancer

Chandon · 27/06/2013 15:42

Op, I think you secretly love the whoke thing, and you come out being your DD's hero.

You choose to do this, I am sure you are nt really upset, jst excited, non?

As to spray tans and the middletons.... Yes, mddke class people can be tacky too

EliotNess · 27/06/2013 15:43

christ there are some fucking witches on here

Who never make a mistake

MeerkatMerkin · 27/06/2013 15:45

My mum tried to iron my prom dress on the day of the prom and scorched a hole in it. Shock

She was in bits. I was too, inwardly, but I said it was ok and these things happen. She had run to the haberdashery while I was at school and bought all sorts of fabrics and ribbons to try and mend it bless her. She patched it up (literally - she was no whizz on the sewing machine!) and I went. Tbh I was an insecure teen, I had gained a lot of weight that year due to hormonal contraception and I didn't need to feel any more self-conscious, but I just got shitfaced on Island Magic and tried to enjoy myself.

Tell her no one will care if she arrives in a limo!

I would totally do the same for my teen daughter (although have not got a teen, or a daughter, just a small DS).

EliotNess · 27/06/2013 15:45

.. and some curiously anti women posts.

TigOldBitties · 27/06/2013 15:46

Yes I spent my 'prom' vomiting up Red Stripe in our sports hall toilets, while wearing a chainmail dress from Dagenham market. I didn't have a spray tan or a manicure.

However things have changed, you have to move with the times. I think it's all a much bigger deal now, ours was shit (but fun), we knew that and didn't make a fuss. Now it's all posh hotel and 500 Facebook photos shared to all the neighbouring schools.

soverylucky · 27/06/2013 15:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gunznroses · 27/06/2013 15:47

MrsJay - Perhaps if they didn't have tan, nails, and special underwear there wouldn't be so much to be divaish about Wink

thebody · 27/06/2013 15:47

Domino, can't tell you how many I have regretted and deleted. It happens and you made a valid point.

SkinnybitchWannabe · 27/06/2013 15:47

I would like to punch the idiot who bought proms to this country.

EliotNess · 27/06/2013 15:47

i have been to loads of proms and have never caught a sniff of alcohol - they are either very good at hiding it or just dont.
EIther way its not a drunken vomit fest at all.

I was VERY surprised

xylem8 · 27/06/2013 15:48

At my DCs school they have a leavers' ball.What's all this with american 'proms'. No Limos either the kids have hired a coach.And as for spray tans ? Yuk more suited to Big Fat Gypsy Weddings.

EliotNess · 27/06/2013 15:50

what does it matter what they wear?

why does it matter what they come in? Most come in original quirky transport - camper vans, kids on motability scooters. a bus, their dads mate's sports car, a tractor.

You who decry them need to see the happiness at them and stop being such terrible women hating snobs

thebody · 27/06/2013 15:51

My dss went and had fun but can't wait for dds to go. 13 and 14 and are better at hair and nails than me darn them.

Wine op?🎉 tis the only way to survive teens!

Ashoething · 27/06/2013 15:52

I am happy to be called a snob if it means my daughter doesn't go around wanting to look like a stripper thanksGrin

EliotNess · 27/06/2013 15:53

whast does a stripper wear that means that a 16 year old looks like one

Do they all wear prom dresses?
Funny kind of strip joint you go to

Dominodonkey · 27/06/2013 15:54

thebody thanks. You were right to call me on it. It's so easy when you are typing to forget there are real people involved.

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