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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to strangle DD (16). She insisted she did not want to go to her school Prom until today - the day of the prom!

663 replies

Lionessy · 27/06/2013 14:09

As her circle of friends had decided they did not want to go, she decided she did not want to either. Was not cool apparently Hmm and they did not have a dates (probably because all the boys are scared of them!).

I went ahead a bought her ticket anyway as I hoped she would come to her senses. What teenage girl would'nt want to dress up in a beautiful dress, glam up and go out to a country mansion for a posh dinner and disco with all their school friends huh?

This morning, after leavers assembly at 10.15am, she finally caves in and wants to go Angry. Cue me rushing around all morning like a blue arsed fly getting a spray tan organised, nails, buying the ruddy dress (luckily we hit the jackpot and found a gorgeous one), underwear, jewellery etc.

I am now knackered and want to go back to bed. Luckily DH has the day off (told him to book it off in case she changed her mind) so he can drive her to the venue an hour away. Everyone else of course, is going in a limo. DD will have to arrive in our old jalopy as she told the girls booking transport she was not going! She has just had a tantrum as to why we can't find her a limo at a few hours notice Hmm.

AIBU to want to strangle her?

One of her friends, who also was not going, has also now decided to go so her mum has had to get onto to the school as she was in tears about it, begging them to get her a ticket! Another friend (the ring leader, who decided not to go) was also upset about not when we just bumped into her in town as she now sees that she's made a mistake.

OP posts:
Pigsmummy · 27/06/2013 14:22

I wouldn't have got the spray tan and nails either.

Original poster
Lionessy · 27/06/2013 14:22

sparklingbrook you must have one like this then!

I feel like a bit of an idiot tbh but I just KNEW she would want to go when she stopped being a bloody sheep. I had all but given up last night.

She is now all excited as the friend who's mum frantically got onto the school to get a ticket is now coming with her as she also has no transport so at least they can both arrive in the jalopy. Wish I could slap her hard though.

GoldenGreen Good tip. I will tell them to do that!

OP posts:
PostBellumBugsy · 27/06/2013 14:23

OMG - why are you enabling your DD to behave so badly?

TheSecondComing · 27/06/2013 14:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnAirOfHope · 27/06/2013 14:23

And dont forget the camra.

teenagetantrums · 27/06/2013 14:23

You did more than I would have done in your situation, my DS decided 3 years ago when it was his prom he wasn't going, on the day he changed his mind, I just left him to it, he had to buy ticket, borrow a suit and get himself there. It should be DD's prom next week she is not going due to school issues, she told me today that might change, I have told her its to late for me to get the whole dress and limo stuff but I will get her ticket.

Sparklingbrook · 27/06/2013 14:23

DS is 14 tomorrow, so I am guessing the Prom thing may not be quite as stressful as he won't need the fakery and a dress.
Maybe in 2 year's time he will be more self reliant. But I'm his Mum and if I can do anything for him I will.

SuperiorCat · 27/06/2013 14:24

For those of you yet to experience the joy of parenting teens, the Y11 prom is a BIG DEAL so like the OP I would have done my utmost to help mine go.

She's bound to be in a tizzy today and not in the most receptive mood for a frank conversation. I would ignore tantrums etc and then on Saturday (as tomorrow will be post Prom high / hangover) sit her down and explain how her behaviour was far from ideal.

Hope she has a lovely time

OHforDUCKScake · 27/06/2013 14:24

But....... your husband took the day off work?

No one else has highlighted this but me.

So is that normal then?

imnotmymum · 27/06/2013 14:24

I would do this too I think. Yes strangle her but after the prom do not want to waste the money. Teens are mental.
Self reliant at 16. Yes in some respects but Barbarian how old are your kids?
Am having a giggle as this is such a 1st world problem and I can see her having a tantrum "But why??..." Teens are so funny

littlewhitebag · 27/06/2013 14:27

That's teenage girls for you. My DD age 15 and her friend decided not to got to their end of year do until they changed their minds the day before. Friend came for tea, they got ready and we took them in. An hour later they text to say it was boring and they had left to go to the friends house.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 27/06/2013 14:27

You are very kind to have bought her a ticket in case she changed her mind and then to rush around to get her ready. I hope she remembers how patient and accommodating you've been!

I would also want to strangle her though Wink. Bloody teenagers!

imnotmymum · 27/06/2013 14:29

Have you got the flower thingy?

melika · 27/06/2013 14:30

I'm not sure I would have been so 'helpful' to her. Hope you remind her daily how bloody lucky she is to have you.

itried · 27/06/2013 14:30

Your DH took the day off in case DD wanted to go to the prom?? I can hear those rotor blades from here! Why do you let her mess you around like this? She might have thrown a tantrum and said all manner of rude things to you, but if you had said no it would probably have stopped her behaving like this again. She sounds like a parent-created little princess.

Floggingmolly · 27/06/2013 14:30

You're enabling her, really... You ran around town organising spray tans, nails, etc. as well as the dress, and your dh took the day off work to drive her there? Surely it doesn't take place during the day? Confused. or was he being measured for his chauffeur's uniform?
So completely over the top.

Ashoething · 27/06/2013 14:31

She sounds delightful.

BarbarianMum · 27/06/2013 14:32

Tbf my children are much younger but I was making most of my own decisions by 16, earning my own money plus studying full time and I can't imagine wanting different for my dc. My mum and dad provided the basics - food, roof, the occasional lift, a sympathetic ear - but then it was up to me to decide what I wanted and make it happen.

I made mistakes, of course. I expect my dc will do similar but I you can learn a lot from mistakes.

Sparklingbrook · 27/06/2013 14:32

Yes Superior it's not like the Year 11 prom will happen again. It is a big deal. I hope my DS wants to go to his.

Sparklingbrook · 27/06/2013 14:33

I doubt Lionessy does this every week, i assume this is a one off for the Prom.

Original poster
Lionessy · 27/06/2013 14:34

I have to say that DH works until late in the evening (between 9-10pm) so would not have been here to take her for 7pm and I have 3 younger DCs so would not have been able to do it. He also would not have fancied working all day and then driving an hour there and back to pick her up at midnight. Is that odd?

She can sing for the blood flower thingy although I have a rose bush, I suppose I could cut her some.

OP posts:
Ashoething · 27/06/2013 14:35

Its a far bigger deal to some of the parents by the sound of itHmm Honestly its a bit pathetic how all the parents try to out do each other with the amount of money they spent on dresses,tux,limo's,helicopters! Its a school leavers DISCO FFS!!!

Floggingmolly · 27/06/2013 14:36

I just KNEW she would want to go when she stopped being a bloody sheep. But they're all going now, or have I read it wrong? No prizes for knowing her own mind just yet, she's still following the crowd.

EldritchCleavage · 27/06/2013 14:37

I don't think Year 11 prom should be that big a deal though. Just a leaving do.

imnotmymum · 27/06/2013 14:37

The Prom is much more than a school leavers disco. My DD (14) is already planning and saving her vivo points to buy the ticket.

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