Prioritise my own DD (brownie leader)

[TreesAndFlowers]

I am a Brownie leader and DD is a Brownie in my pack.
From time to time (maybe 2-3 a year) our county organises ?large scale? brownie events which require an adult to attend for each 6 brownies.
These events tend to be at weekends and generally involve quite a bit of a drive, so the other leaders in the unit choose not to go.

I am happy to go to these events because I want DD to have the experience of attending. So I go with DD and 5 other brownies.
Due to the events being at weekends and a bit of a drive, there are generally (say) only about 8-9 brownies interested in any given one. We?ve so far adopted the policy of selecting brownies by random draw, with the understanding that anyone who is unsuccessful will get priority next time.

This has so far been fine. It?s tended to work out that if a girl put their name down for every single event (which I don?t think anyone has) they would probably get to go to 2 out of 3 of them (we also do an annual pack holiday and there are more local events they can attend so they do have other opportunities). Except that my DD is getting to go to all of them. A couple of parents have recently started muttering about this and saying that it?s not fair that I am prioritising my own daughter. Which I agree that I am, but frankly I?m not sufficiently altruistic to spend a whole Saturday/Sunday at an event miles away otherwise (I do already help at the aforementioned pack holiday and more local events at weekends), so if DD was not coming, I wouldn?t be going, and no one would get the opportunity.

So AIBU?

Weekly brownie meetings are the 'core' activity.

Additional trips are optional extras for the brownies and leaders.

My daughter is a brownie in my unit (I am a Barn).

She got her place through a very slight manipulation of the admission criteria. She was rightfully top of the waiting list but not quite old enough when we had space (and unlikely to have another space for 18m). So we had a gap in our unit for 3 weeks until she was old enough to come as a 'rising seven'. This was all discussed and authorised by our district comissioner. And I was told that jumping the waiting lists was one of the few 'perks of the job'.

You could choose not to go on the optional trips as you want to go on the trips. Or you could choose to go with just your dd. You are doing the best option for both yourself as a person. You as a guider. The brownies in your unit.

The only other way to do it would be first come first served. Funnily enough I suspect your dd would always get her forms in first!

Fwiw we have recently done some activities where we were restricted to 6 brownies (by event organisers). For this we habd picked the brownies we wanted to take based on their behaviour, outgoingness and other things as the whole point of the event was to help plan the big birthday activities.

I don't get the comparison with the football match. That is a selection. Players are selected based on their qualities at football (even if it is a case of...we have an easyish game so we can afford to play some of our less able players). Brownie trips aren't based on selection based on qualities. It is not as if the op is saying her dd is the 'best' at something to get her place on the trips.

Instead of my earlier letter suggestions Brown Owl could send a letter home that says:

Brown Owl and her DD plan to attend a Large Event at X on Saturday the Xth of Y. If any other parents would like to bring their daughters along too, please see Brown Owl for details.

YANBU.

I too am a Brown Owl and my daughter comes to just about all the weekend activities (although these tend not to be oversubscribed, so she isn't displacing anyone else). It isn't - from her point of view or mine - a "perk" of being Brown Owl's daughter. It's a simple necessity because I don't have anyone else I could ask to have her for a full day and if stay home doing childcare I can't take any Brownies to the event.

Our coach's son is always rostered on to start every game. If there is a full team, all the kids get a run.

This is fair enough IMO.

When we needed a manager and a coach, most of the parents stood there scuffing their feet and mumbling.

He stepped forward, as did our Manager - so if their kids get a bit more because of that, then so be it.

Sometimes my kids get a free sausage as well because we have leftovers after a sizzle and I have done all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, sorting, selling etc.

You get out what you put in.

YANBU IMO. it's a volunteer gig. I would be doing it specifically for the benefit of my own child and would expect other parents to step up if they want their own kids to go to every away weekend.