To be disappointed that my sister is pregnant too

[itsmyturnnow]

I'm pregnant with my first child, and announced it a couple of weeks ago. V. v. excited. My sister has just announced that she is pregnant with her third.

She's had a lot of attention - she had the first grandchild - a girl, then she had a lot of problems trying for her second - a boy (so the family now has one of each gender) and I was really there for her and supportive through it all and delighted for her, and I LOVE my niece and nevvy, but now I feel like this is meant to by MY time and she's pregnant again.

I must admit my heart sank when she announced her news, and I don't feel good about that, but it's just the truth. She's a very bubbly, centre of attention kind of person so we were both at mum's last night and all the chat was on her, her symptoms, what names go with her existing dcs and the only thing they really said about me was that I'm lucky as I'm not really suffering many symptoms except tiredness so far whereas she's got everything in the book.

Does anyone know where I'm coming from? :(

[Blueskiesandbuttercups]

Soooo know where you're coming from.

It took us 7 years of fertility treatment to conceive our twins on the very last round of IVF.First grandchildren.

3 months into the pg and bingo sil conceives her first.I was like you're kidding me. Really!Could you not of waited 6 more months,it had to be now?

Oh and her singleton pg was waaaaay more high maintenance than my twin pg with hg,ditto coping with a newborn.When they were 6 months and 3 months old she actually said "of course singletons are a lot more labour intensive than twins as they need more attention". Took all I had not to say"oh do fuck off,then fuckity fuck off a but more".

We had the last laugh as I had a natural miracle exactly a year after.

[hermioneweasley]

It's understandable how you're feeling, but i suspect it will change when your DC arrives.

Practically, with two other DCs she does need your mum's help

[Sparklingbrook]

I feel the same Pink. Those first few weeks are hard but having my DM stopping here would have made it harder, and I love her with all my heart.

[fizzzness]

god that's so so weird, i actually read your OP slightly freaked out that I'd written it years ago and forgotten writing it, and someone had bumped it. Well fucking weird.

So I had your exact same situation. Our babies are now four. Can tell you I was pretty peeved thru most of the pregnancy, but immediately forgot about it when my baby was born, and now the joy of watching the two little cousins of the same age mostly, almost completely cancels out any occassional annoyance. It'll be cool.

[IAgreeCompletely]

I dont understand why some posters have to be so rude? you can disagree with the OP without being so catty.

OP
Sorry, but YABU. I know it is hard but it won't do you any good having such negative feelings. Concerntrate on enjoying your pregnancy

[PoppyWearer]

Know where you are coming from, and completely understand.

My DSis announced her first pregnancy when I was pregnant with DC1, and working out her dates I realised she had literally conceived a week or two after we had announced our pregnancy news.

Her DC2 was also conceived with similar timing. Almost like she couldn't bear for me/us to be the centre of attention.

Ah well, whatever. In the event I was quite glad when the attention switched from me as her DCs were born.

[PenelopeLane]

Sounds like your sis is a real drama queen! Your mum may actually feel quite torn though, and you'll probably find that once the baby is born you'll be surprised by how much time your mum does spend with your baby. And also worth remembering that will be hard for your sister as she's probably used to having your mum's 'grandchildren' time to herself.

I know that it's hard when your pregnant and hormonal, but I had a whole lot of similar concerns when I was pregnant and it was seriously minutes after my baby was born that I realised how silly I'd been.

[marriedinwhiteagain]

Perhaps if you were more happy for others they would be happier for you and give you the attention you seek. Sounds v sad to me OP. Babies can't be planned for anyone you know.

[expatinscotland]

Because if the most you have to worry about is being petty, competing (we had the last laugh), comparing what should be the most positive thing in your life with someone else, then you need a reality check at best and a swift kick up the jacksie at worst.

How fucking stupid, to waste time and energy bickering like toddlers with one's own sibling. If one despises a sibling that much, finds her that despicable and has nothing better to do than go online and moan about it, grow a backbone and start distancing from her.

Life's way, way too short to spend niggling over trivial shit like 'first' grandchild, 'first one of this gender', 'she got pregnant first', 'this is MY time', etc etc.

[zoobaby]

Just be thankful that you can get by without the added drama. Far less exhausting that way.

[Blueskiesandbuttercups]

Oh they can for sil,she consistently told us how it only took the one go.

[Blueskiesandbuttercups]

No bickering,plenty of ignoring and seething though.

[littlepeas]

Just be pleased for her and enjoy your own pregnancy. Should be simple really.

[Blueskiesandbuttercups]

On a more positive note op your third can be quite stressful as you're spread thin.You'll be in the singleton first born state of bliss( I've read about) and of course your baby will be the most beautiful baby on the planet.

[EverybodysStressyEyed]

I know how you feel. My dsis announced her second pregnancy a week after ds was born. There is 5 months between them and it did take away from his firsts (Xmas etc) because he wasn't the baby. And then she obviously needed more help because she had two etc.

Now I have a second she is completely doted on because she is the baby and I feel sorry for ds that he didn't really get that (except from me!) but he and his cousin are the best of friends now they are older so it worked out well.

Is your baby going to have doting gp's on your partners side?

[WafflyVersatile]

I suspect 2 weeks will be more than enough.....

[Growlithe]

Why is there all this rivalry for the maternal GPs attention? Why should the GM stay over for weeks after the birth. It's not her child being born is it? She's done her stint with newborns and it sounds like they have been demanding ever since now do yours.

[Monty27]

Every new baby is as important as the next. You're projecting. Just get on with your own happiness. I had my second at the same time as my dsis had her sixth.

We just enjoyed it together. I must be missing something.

Sibling rivalry maybe?

[JohnSnowsTie]

I understand how you feel. A friend of mine accidentally found out I was pregnant with my third (I gave her a lift and forgot the Bounty pack was in the car) and she smiled through gritted teeth and didn't congratulate me, but she was newly married, very keen to start a family and probably thought it was her time. I don't blame her for feeling that at all.

I'm as far from the attention seeking type as you can get and I felt v guilty - can't wait for the news that she's pregnant herself, she'll be ecstatic!

[youmeatsix]

i'm a bit perplexed TBH. it all sounds very juvenile. speaking to your mother because you want more attention? you are pregnant, nothing takes that away, from YOU. that in itself SHOULD be enough for any grown woman, not competing for attention from other people

[TattyDevine]

Sorry if I havent' read all the threads or missed something, but what is your relationship with your inlaws?

If its their first or new one in a while, I'd play on it a bit if you feel that way inclined

You deserve a fuss as its your first. My sis in law had the 2nd/3rd grandchild to both sides of the fam but got lots of gushy shit as she well deserved, including from me. Its what get you through. Demand it! ya don't ask ya don't get.

[specialsubject]

er...
grow up. You sound about 12. As you are pregnant, I sincerely hope that this is not the case.

[SoftlySoftly]

Wtf posters saying "ignore her" "she sounds a pain" the sister had done fuck all wrong .

So she should put off having her desired no of children because you want all the attention? ? She shouldn't talk about her pregnancy or expect your mum to visit when you're mum has said she will fairly split her time.

YABU and I know you are pg so don't want to sound harsh as I gently suggest you get a grip.

[SoftlySoftly]

*your ffs