I'm pregnant with my first child, and announced it a couple of weeks ago. V. v. excited. My sister has just announced that she is pregnant with her third.
She's had a lot of attention - she had the first grandchild - a girl, then she had a lot of problems trying for her second - a boy (so the family now has one of each gender) and I was really there for her and supportive through it all and delighted for her, and I LOVE my niece and nevvy, but now I feel like this is meant to by MY time and she's pregnant again.
I must admit my heart sank when she announced her news, and I don't feel good about that, but it's just the truth. She's a very bubbly, centre of attention kind of person so we were both at mum's last night and all the chat was on her, her symptoms, what names go with her existing dcs and the only thing they really said about me was that I'm lucky as I'm not really suffering many symptoms except tiredness so far whereas she's got everything in the book.
Does anyone know where I'm coming from? :(
AIBU?
To be disappointed that my sister is pregnant too
itsmyturnnow · 15/06/2013 20:39
my DH is one of 4 brothers.
my PILS have 24 grandchildren.
DS1 was born 10 days before SIL 1's 4th.
our babies were the only two out of all the cousins who were Baptised on the same day. it was an amazing day.
SIL 2 had her 4th 5 months later.
DS2 was born - SIL 2 had her 5th 5 months later.
SIL 3 had her DD1 only 4 months before our DS4 was born, and if the same year SIL 1 had her 5th.
SIL 2 had DC 7 and SIL3 had her DD2 not long before my MC
SIL 2's 8th, our 5th and SIL 3's 3rd were all born in the same year.
and the moral of the story is - we are not jealous or resentful of each other because we all shag a lot!
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YABU. But, your feelings are understandable!
I had problems conceiving and I remember bursting into tears any time anyone announced their pregnancies as I felt it was 'my turn'. Now I have DD I'm 
when I think of that reaction, but it was very real at the time. I think you may end up looking back on your feelings about your DSIS in the same way once your babies arrive.
I think I might be the one in the family in your sister's role though, reflecting on it! Once I did conceive I had a worrying pregnancy, a difficult birth and DD had health problems for the first few months and I was almost out of my mind with worry. I'm pretty sure I sucked up all my mum's attention and emotional energy through the years of TTC, pregnancy and then worry about DD. My DB would almost certainly have said I was the most annoying, attention seeking drama queen on earth. In my mind though I was going through very justifiable worries, and I didn't have any control over my mum's reaction (honestly, I'd have preferred she'd worried LESS as me worrying about HER worrying and anxiety was just another stress...) I certainly never consciously sought attention, and I doubt your DSIS does it deliberately either. She's probably naturally an anxious person and her problems are real to her if not to you. Your mum probably feels she is less able to cope and you are the 'stronger' one, hence the feeling that she's being favoured with time before and after the babies are born.
What's really sad for me is DB never said anything about how the lack of attention made him feel. He now no longer speaks to me, and there's seemingly nothing I can do. If I were you I might not say anything to DSIS but I might ask DM if you can have some private time with her to go and look for baby stuff etc. so you get a bit of attention on your own. It would be a shame if you felt so 'second class' in the family that it drove a permanent wedge between you.
Oh, and there is NO WAY I'd want anyone staying for a month when I'd just given birth. It really gets in the way of family bonding. You might find you're desperate for her to leave after two days (or your DH will be anyway...)
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