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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go crazy at this guy

158 replies

Emz8369 · 11/06/2013 20:12

long story short couldnt find daughter (5) so had friend and sister out helping me look found her after after about ten minutes with old next door neighbours dad (bloke in his 50s I'd say) walking the dog along an old cycle track (where she knows she is not allowed) she used to go on dog walks with him and his daughter regularly but daughter since moved. When I found her she got a severe telling off and I went bat shit crazy at this guy (his reasoning being daughter told him she was allowed WTF) part of the reason I flipped is because of something which happened to older daughter which is on another thread I wrote called my world has fallen apartAngry

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 11/06/2013 20:16

YABU and you know it - not every man is a predator -and you know it - would you have gone batshit at a middle aged woman?

She got lost, met someone she knew and walked with them.

Fact of the matter - keep a closer eye on your children.

You would have gone bat shit at anyone because you were worried - but yes again YABU.

Eebahgum · 11/06/2013 20:18

I thinkyour reaction is pretty reasonable. I think most people wouldn't take a 5 year old for a walk just because she said it was ok!

mumblechum1 · 11/06/2013 20:19

Holly I think you've misunderstood the OP.

From what I can understand, the dd went to the neighbour's dad and asked if she could walk his dog with him, saying that she was allowed?

Obviously he was silly to take her word for it.

Glad she got home safely anyway.

Branleuse · 11/06/2013 20:20

i dont think its a case of being reasonable or unreasonable. You were petrified and you were in shock.

pictish · 11/06/2013 20:20

You went bat shit crazy at him?
I cannot for the life of me think why. He didn't do anything!!

Keep a better eye on your dd yourself!

HollyBerryBush · 11/06/2013 20:21

I'm reading it as: man (50) and daughter used to take OPs daughter out dog walking. Mans daughter since moved away. Ops daughter wandered off and joined up with man on his dog walk, man though nothing of it as ops daughter used to go along before.

everlong · 11/06/2013 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MalcolmTuckersMum · 11/06/2013 20:23

I agree with pictish and holly. Poor bloke. I bet he feels fucking awful now.

LoSiento · 11/06/2013 20:23

Yes you were unreasonable. The only person at fault was you for not keeping an eye on your child. You should apologise.

mumblechum1 · 11/06/2013 20:23

Yes, he must be feeling dreadful. I think you owe him a huge apology.

whatshallwedo · 11/06/2013 20:24

I can see why you were worried when you couldn't find her. Yabu to have a go at him as she has been allowed to go for a walk with him before so that's probably why he believed her.

Original poster
Emz8369 · 11/06/2013 20:24

she didnt get lost the cycle track runs along behind the house past some fields and then into the woods daughter knows she is not allowed on the cycle track

OP posts:
everlong · 11/06/2013 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 11/06/2013 20:26

After reading your other thread I understand why you thought the worst, apologise to your neighbour and I'm sure he'll appreciate it

Original poster
Emz8369 · 11/06/2013 20:28

I cant not let her out of my sight she is allowed at the end of the street because thats where her friends house is and that is where she saw this guy as when I went to the end of the street to bring her home his car was parked there

OP posts:
Letticetheslug · 11/06/2013 20:28

your daughter is 5, why did you not know where she was , yabvu

defineme · 11/06/2013 20:28

You need to apologise.

I'm very sorry for what happened to your other dd, but this has nothing to do with that.
You had an understandable reaction, but it was misplaced. My dm once had ds out without my knowledge because he told her I knew-school head was searching the streets, I was crying. I never blamed my mum-people make mistakes and he sounds like a nice neighbour.

Original poster
Emz8369 · 11/06/2013 20:30

sorry I put wrong age she is 6 (7 next month)

OP posts:
everlong · 11/06/2013 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EglantinePrice · 11/06/2013 20:31

An adult takes a 5 year old girl for a walk along an isolated cycle track because the 5 year old says 'its ok'. Hmm Ill judged at best. YANBU

defineme · 11/06/2013 20:32

So you have discovered your dd does not stick to her boundaries-so they need changing for the moment eg you sit on step whilst she's out/watch her to see she's gone into friend's house.
You also need to apologise to neighbour.
You made a mistake, dd made a mistake and he made a very very minor mistake which would never have happened without you having thought dd old enough to stick to her boundaries and her having broken them.

HollyBerryBush · 11/06/2013 20:32

daughter knows she is not allowed on the cycle track

But she did go to the cycle track - and you didn't notice- and you should thank your lucky stars she found someone she knew and trusted.

You can't get as arsy as you like - but this is down to your poor skills in keeping an eye on your daughter.

To go dipshit at someone - you have previously sanctioned and told/implied she can trust because you used to allow her to go out with him and own daughter - you are so very wrong to slate that man and you should be on your bended knees apologising

YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 11/06/2013 20:33

Yeah yabu very unreasonable

verytellytubby · 11/06/2013 20:34

I wouldn't allow my 6 year old to play out.

I'd apologise to the man. If your DD was allowed to previously walk with him, he would assume your DD had permission.

Original poster
Emz8369 · 11/06/2013 20:34

I am not being arsy at all holly

OP posts:
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