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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go crazy at this guy

158 replies

Emz8369 · 11/06/2013 20:12

long story short couldnt find daughter (5) so had friend and sister out helping me look found her after after about ten minutes with old next door neighbours dad (bloke in his 50s I'd say) walking the dog along an old cycle track (where she knows she is not allowed) she used to go on dog walks with him and his daughter regularly but daughter since moved. When I found her she got a severe telling off and I went bat shit crazy at this guy (his reasoning being daughter told him she was allowed WTF) part of the reason I flipped is because of something which happened to older daughter which is on another thread I wrote called my world has fallen apartAngry

OP posts:
Justfornowitwilldo · 11/06/2013 21:03

So this man walked past your house, your 6 year old said she wanted to walk with him and said she was allowed to and he didn't check with you? He walked off with a 6 year old?

I'm not surprised you went mad. You've said you didn't accuse him of anything so I don't think you need to apologise for that. I would have a general clear the air conversation and say that you were panicking and had no idea where she was.

I would be angry with anyone who did that, man or woman. You can't assume that it's ok because you've done it before. It would have taken him 30 seconds to shout to you and check.

Madamecastafiore · 11/06/2013 21:05

It was her who caused this by lying!

Rainbowinthesky · 11/06/2013 21:06

Your dd is too young to be out on her own. Your reaction was understandable but completely wrong and you need to apologise.

MrsBungle · 11/06/2013 21:06

Did you give him a chance to explain ? Maybe he had just met up with her and was going to walk her home?

I think 5/6 is too young to be out unattended.

WorraLiberty · 11/06/2013 21:08

I didnt accuse him of anything holly I told him she had went missing and I was so worried that I had people out looking for her

That's hardly 'flipping' or going 'bat shit crazy' is it?

Floggingmolly · 11/06/2013 21:08

Bloody hell! Hmm. Supervise your daughter properly and she won't be in a position to wander off with anyone.

Justfornowitwilldo · 11/06/2013 21:09

Would you accept someone else's 6 year old's word on it?

mummytowillow · 11/06/2013 21:11

You let your 5 year old play out on her own Hmm My daughter is 6 in August and I wouldn't let her past my gate without someone being with her.

I understand you have had a previous bad experience, but there is no way you should be letting her out on her own. YABU

Salmotrutta · 11/06/2013 21:13

Did the man meet her on the way back OP?

That makes a difference surely?

youmeatsix · 11/06/2013 21:14

i can only imagine how this man must be left feeling. there are clearly several issues needing addressed, apologizing to the man is first post of call. supervising your daughter until she can be trusted next, she clearly isnt sure of the boundaries and needs a tighter reign.

Justfornowitwilldo · 11/06/2013 21:16

Yes. Apologise to the man for walking off with someone else's child Hmm. I'm a 35 year old woman and I would never do this without checking with the child's mother.

EleanorFarjeon · 11/06/2013 21:17

Please punctuate. It makes things so much easier. OP is difficult to understand.

JambalayaCodfishPie · 11/06/2013 21:17

I agree with others. She's your responsibility.

You've said they were walking towards home - so he found her and was bringing her back, and you yelled at him for that? Poor guy.

Rainbowinthesky · 11/06/2013 21:17

But the guy was simply walking his dog!

Salmotrutta · 11/06/2013 21:19

Justfornow - we don't know he "walked off" with the DD.

He may have been returning when he met her

That puts a totally different spin on it!

Original poster
Emz8369 · 11/06/2013 21:20

no he didnt meet daughter on her way back I asked her and she said she had took the dog for a walk and then came back

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 11/06/2013 21:21

And why are ages relevant at all actually? Confused

What am I missing?

JambalayaCodfishPie · 11/06/2013 21:21

She also told him she was allowed to go with him. She lies.

Original poster
Emz8369 · 11/06/2013 21:26

jambalaya she is a 6 year old CHILD yes I agree I overreacted but if this guy was at all bothered about whether she was allowed to go or not he would have asked me

OP posts:
PrettyKitty1986 · 11/06/2013 21:27

Yabvu.

Take some responsibility, step up and supervise your own child.

You should be thanking your lucky stars that she didn't bump into someone else.

nenevomito · 11/06/2013 21:29

Your posts are not clear, but putting them together...

You let your 6yo DD play out.
She went on the cycle track, which she knows she's not allowed to do.
She met your neighbour, who you know and who she has walked the dog with before.
They were walking back when you found her.

  1. Supervise your children better.
  2. Be bloody grateful that someone she knows and you can trust walked with her.
  3. Go and apologise to the man.
  4. YABU. Deal with it.
Floggingmolly · 11/06/2013 21:30

If she's a "6 year old CHILD" she shouldn't have been out in her own, op.
What if she'd met someone less harmless?

PrettyKitty1986 · 11/06/2013 21:30

if this guy was at all bothered about whether she was allowed to go or not he would have asked me

Maybe his thought was 'if her parent was at all bothered about where she was she'd not be out alone. So no one will probably notice anyway'.

JambalayaCodfishPie · 11/06/2013 21:31

Don't capitalise your anger at me now. You asked if you were in the wrong. You were. Just go and speak to the guy, apologise for over-reacting. And keep a better eye on your daughter.

MrsBungle · 11/06/2013 21:31

But op, did you ask the guy? Does he agree that he was walking past your house and just decided to take your dd on a walk with him without asking you?

If so then yanbu although it wouldn't have happened if you were watching your dd.

You've not really explained this situation.

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