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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What do you think would be better for this toddler? Sah or nursery

180 replies

Orangesandpeas · 08/06/2013 09:21

Do you think it is better for a nearly 2 year old boy to:

a) either go to an average standard nursery (minimum of 3 long days a week)

b) or to stay at home with mum (everyday) who takes him to various toddler group/activities 3-4 times a week and also has him watch tv for up 2-3 hours max a day (No other interactions with other children or adults apart from the toddler groups)

OP posts:
cluelessnchaos · 08/06/2013 09:22

Home

HollyBerryBush · 08/06/2013 09:22

Nursery. Because I would be bored out of my box stuck at home with a toddler

PenelopeLane · 08/06/2013 09:24

I am biased as my DS is that age, goes to nursery 3 days a week, and is flourishing there. Depends on the nursery though I suppose.

WidowWadman · 08/06/2013 09:24

Nursery

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 08/06/2013 09:26

Home.

Nursery is fine if you either have to work or really, really want to work but if there is a choice then 'at home' wins hands down - even if in the situation you describe.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 08/06/2013 09:27

Please tell me you are a genuine poster who has concerns about this child because if not, starting another SAH v WOH 'row' is not on. It never ends well.

AThingInYourLife · 08/06/2013 09:28

Agree with Chipping - home

ConfusedPixie · 08/06/2013 09:28

Home for another couple if months, then mix of both. Depends on the child though really!

IneedAsockamnesty · 08/06/2013 09:28

Both are fine but if I had to make the choice I would pick home.

baskingseals · 08/06/2013 09:30

Home, but it does depend on th situation.

FiveSugarsPlease · 08/06/2013 09:33

It totally depends what YOU want.

If you're going to be bored out of your skull, resenting being a SAHM, then this will impact negatively on your child.

However, if you enjoy being at home full-time, and enjoy being with your child 24/7, then it will be beneficial to your child.

Damnautocorrect · 08/06/2013 09:34

Little people need a responsive adult who can engage, if you can do that then yes home. If like the pp you think you'd be bored out your box, nursery.

tumbletumble · 08/06/2013 09:36

Home. Of course it depends on the parent but 3 long days sounds like a lot for an under 2 yo.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 08/06/2013 09:41

I think in all but very extreme situations young children are better off at home with a parent all current evidence points to that. However that is not what is best for the family or best for the mother in a lot of circumstance which is a very valid reason for nursery. In the situation you describe the child would be better with his mother but maybe the mother and family would be better off with nursery it all depends.

Graciescotland · 08/06/2013 09:42

I found my toddler 2.8 struggled with long days at nursery; ended up putting him down for three mornings a week as I think he needed the interaction with other toddlers. A bit of a PITA for me as it's 80mins of driving time for 3.5-4 hrs of childcare it should stand him in good stead for state nursery in August.

Tanith · 08/06/2013 09:43

Childminder. But I'm biased Grin

Actually, out of the options you give, I'd choose home, myself. Difficult to say without more information, though.

COCKadoodledooo · 08/06/2013 09:44

I think it depends entirely on the child.
For ds1 it was home, and for ds2 nursery. Very different personalities.

VinegarDrinker · 08/06/2013 09:46

Is there no middle ground? I'd go for nursery given that choice tbh, 2-3 hours of TV every day is a LOT. And would seem to imply that whoever is SAH with him doesn't have their heart in it.

He would still have 4 days per week at home with 1:1 attention.

WidowWadman · 08/06/2013 09:47

Why do so many posters think that being parked in front of TV for 2-3 hours every day is preferable over spending the day in nursery with lots of stimulating activities and other children?

I'm not totally anti-TV, but don't think that it's better than actually doing stuff.

RobinBedRest · 08/06/2013 09:49

c) at home going to toddlers, swimming lessons, music groups with time at home playing with responsive adult. One hour or less of TV to fill the tired, grumpy gaps (parent or child)

[helpful]

Parker231 · 08/06/2013 09:49

Nursery - DT's went full time from 6 months - they were there until they started school - they are 16 next month and we often talk about how good it was for them, the activities they did etc - we're still friends with of the children they meet there and their parents

Pascha · 08/06/2013 09:50

At nearly two I would say home, somewhere between 2 and 3 it could easily change. DS1 is 2.9 and I'm now counting down the days til he starts preschool in September. Before about 3 months ago it was home, hands-down.

McNewPants2013 · 08/06/2013 09:50

Does the mother need to work, is she on benefits or struggling financially.

It's all well and good saying the child be better off at home, but a child needs to have a roof over its head, food and other basics in life.

DoctorRobert · 08/06/2013 09:52

Better for the toddler? At home.

However that may not be best for the mother / family.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 08/06/2013 09:52

WW - because I believe a toddler is better off at home, with one of its parents - where the toddler can play with their toys & potter about rather than being in a noisey, over stimulated nursery environment with far too many other children all day.

This child is going out to several groups a week.

Sure that amount of TV isn't brilliant (and not something I would do/allow) but it's also not the work of the devil.