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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking nrp should dedicate their weekend to their children?

188 replies

LittleLisa78 · 02/06/2013 22:12

Have posted (ranted) about exH before. He sees our 5 year old every other weekend from Fri at 6 until 2 on Sunday. He has no midweek or holiday contact which is his choice. He has a new hobby which he needs to travel 1.5 hours away to do on a Saturday morning. DD can't take part but he says she'll 'really enjoy going along to watch.' It takes 2 hours then another 1.5 hours home so that's most of Saturday spent on DD watching/travelling to something he enjoys while she is bored stiff. AIBU in thinking that with the little time he has DD he could dedicate it to doing things with/for her? It's entirely possible to do the hobby whenever he likes, he has chosen sat mornings.

OP posts:
theoriginalandbestrookie · 02/06/2013 22:59

If it's the same set up as our dry ski slopes, I would not be happy at all with a 5 year old being unsupervised, purely from a safety aspect. Is the viewing area behind glass or is it in the same hall? I'm assuming behind glass as it's cold in the indoor places.

Ridiculous that it isn't even for lessons, at least if it was lessons he would have a vague excuse.

She might be too young to have lessons at age 5 any way.

Sounds like a shoddy excuse for a parent, which may be one of the reasons he is an ex.

clam · 02/06/2013 23:00

And I'm no helicopter parent, but there's no WAY I would leave a five year old alone in the viewing gallery at a ski centre. At ours, it's upstairs (quite a trek to get to if required) and is actually a bar/bistro frequented by all sorts of locals (and teens socialising). It's also quite hard to see through the glass from the slope too, as there's a reflection thing going on. There's no way he can be keeping an eye on her whilst he's queuing for the drag lift and has his back to her whilst going to the top. At the top he's too far away to even see vague figures through the windows, and whilst he's skiing down he's presumably looking where he's going and concentrating on practising his technique.
NO WAY!!!

clam · 02/06/2013 23:01

5 is not too young for lessons.

alotofthetimes · 02/06/2013 23:03

It doesn't really sound like it would be that easy for him to do all that travelling during the week, as doesnt he work then? (Although I don't know how he. Managed to get there for lessons.

The fact he has chosen to do that is none of your business and is no pr

foreverondiet · 02/06/2013 23:03

Ok have now seen its indoor skiing - completely inappropriate to leave your dd in viewing gallery - can't see her all the time eg facing the other way on the button lift and she is too small - would even say at that agr child protection issue - I would not allow... FYI though - we took ds1 skiing age 5 - and have since taken him indoor skiing and he can ski better than me - and we ski together - go up and down together (he needs help getting on button lift) - and it's his favourite mummy and son bonding activity.

theoriginalandbestrookie · 02/06/2013 23:03

Depends on the centre clam - ours used to be 6, but they have changed it recently.

clam · 02/06/2013 23:04

seewhatImean

alotofthetimes · 02/06/2013 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clam · 02/06/2013 23:05

Those tiny rectangular bits at the far end of the slope are the bar windows.

Original poster
LittleLisa78 · 02/06/2013 23:05

But with him lying about her being supervised there's little I can do isn't there? DD is very sensible for her age and wouldn't wander off/talk to strangers etc but she's been anxious about going because she doesn't like being left alone

OP posts:
alotofthetimes · 02/06/2013 23:06

It doesn't really sound like it would be that easy for him to do all that travelling during the week, as doesnt he work then? (Although I don't know how he manages to get there for lessons?)

The fact he has chosen to do that is none of your business and is no problem as children do need to fit into nrp plans to some extent. However he is being vv v v unreasonable to not pay for her lessons and to just hang around not supervised. She needs to be included properly.

Hissy · 02/06/2013 23:07

Does this prick live near you?

I'd renegotiate the days, do handover on Sat night, he takes her to school on Monday morning.

Leaving a child to amuse themselves ALONE while he and gf do their hobby? No. Unsatisfactory.

clam · 02/06/2013 23:07

Unless you turn up there unannounced one Saturday?

Original poster
LittleLisa78 · 02/06/2013 23:08

Alot - he works away near the ski place but lives 1.5 hours from it

OP posts:
Mutt · 02/06/2013 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImagineJL · 02/06/2013 23:10

Well your DD has said she's not supervised so that would be reason enough for me to say she can't go. He can pick her up when he's back from skiing.

Original poster
LittleLisa78 · 02/06/2013 23:12

He can't have her past 2 on a Sunday because he has to 'get ready for work on Monday' - also known as go to his mums for a roast and a beer. I was half considering traveling to the ski place and seeing for myself if she's unsupervised then taking her home if so and waiting to see how long it takes him to notice

OP posts:
ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 02/06/2013 23:12

Turn up one Saturday and take her outside - see how long it takes for him to notice she's missing and watch his panic when he realises Grin

I can't think why he's your EX? Hmm

AcrylicPlexiglass · 02/06/2013 23:13

Awww. Poor, poor dd.:( Can she/has she told her dad how boring and upsetting she finds it being left alone in the viewing area? I'm quite surprised the centre allows it, tbh.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 02/06/2013 23:13

FAB cross post Grin

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 02/06/2013 23:14

Acrylic those places are total chaos, it's not really a matter of letting/not letting. A bit like if you took the kids ice skating but didn't let them skate - the place wouldn't know.

alotofthetimes · 02/06/2013 23:17

If he works close to the skiing then he should definitely do the practice day during the week as well, just to save on the travel time.

Sounds very hiring for your dd :(
Are you going to talk to him about it?

ReindeerBollocks · 02/06/2013 23:17

Actually I think OP should be really concerned about her DD being left unsupervised for two hours every saturday. That is bloody awful and, wirhout meaning to scare OP, anything could happen and the Ex wouldn't be there instantly if he was mid ski.

Sounds like DD is being honest about her dad and the girlfriend skiing together and hee being really bored. What is she acrually gaining from this type of contact? I would look to rearrange contact so he sees her Sunday instead, as someone upthread mentioned.

alotofthetimes · 02/06/2013 23:18

Sorry should be boring for your dd

alienbanana · 02/06/2013 23:19

I'd definitely check out the viewing area where she's apparently being supervised. Not acceptable at all to leave her on her own.